1984 - Planet eBook

e found,’ was what O’Brien had been saying to him. Perhapsthere would even be a message concealed somewherein the dictionary. But at any rate, one thing was certain. Theconspiracy that he had dreamed of did exist, and he hadreached the outer edges of it.He knew that sooner or later he would obey O’Brien’ssummons. Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps after a long delay—hewas not certain. What was happening was only theworking-out of a process that had started years ago. Thefirst step had been a secret, involuntary thought, the secondhad been the opening of the diary. He had moved fromthoughts to words, and now from words to actions. The laststep was something that would happen in the Ministry ofLove. He had accepted it. The end was contained in the beginning.But it was frightening: or, more exactly, it was likea foretaste of death, like being a little less alive. Even whilehe was speaking to O’Brien, when the meaning of the wordshad sunk in, a chilly shuddering feeling had taken possessionof his body. He had the sensation of stepping into thedampness of a grave, and it was not much better becausehe had always known that the grave was there and waitingfor him.