Music is served … - Irish American News

40 IRISH AMERICAN NEWS January 2006MICKBy Mike MorleySTATE BANK OFCOUNTRYSIDEMain Office6734 Joliet RoadCountryside, IL 60525(708) 485-3100Darien Office7380 S. Route 83Darien, IL 60561(630) 655-3113Burbank Office6053 W. 79th St.Burbank, IL 60459(708) 599-9860Orland Park Office16250 S. LaGrange RoadOrland Park, IL 60467(708) 873-1485Chicago Office3323 N. Clark StreetChicago, IL 60657(773) 755-2500“The Family Owned Bank forFamilies and Their Businesses”Member FDICDE-MOCK-RACYLast month we speculated what sort of “Januarysurprise” might be coming out of NorthernIreland this year. Perhaps it arrived a bit early. In2002 the power-sharing North-South executivewas dissolved after three men were arrested forbeing part of a “spy ring” in the Stormont government.One of the three was Denis Donaldson,head of Sinn Fein administration at Stormont.Donaldson and Sinn Fein had called the raid a“scam” by Special Branch police to scuttle SinnFein’s chances of taking part in government. ButDonaldson has now admitted he was indeed a spy,and for twenty years… but a spy for the British!That confirms rumors that have been circulatingfor quite some time that Britain had a mole highup in Sinn Fein.Is anyone shocked that Britain was playing allsides of the bridge table, making sure the queenavoided being trumped? Apparently no one overthere is too surprised. Irish Taniste Mary Harneydescribed the news as “incredible”; but ruled outa public inquiry. Britain’s Secretary for NorthernIreland, Peter Hain, also rejected an inquiry.Taoiseach Dermot Ahern: “These events arefortunately the vestige of the past”. Gerry Adams:“We are not going to be deflected by anything…”Martin McGuinness “Time will pass. People willsee all of this in a proper perspective.” Paisleysimply wants “more information” from Blair.Seems just about everyone is politely ignoringthe man behind the curtain.Speaking about Prof, Marvel, the FrankMorgan character in Oz... I was sitting at thecomputer the other night (12/7) while my sontuned the TV to “South Park”. The episode wastitled “Bloody Mary”, and started off with cartooncharacter Stan embarrassed by his father’sarrest for drunk driving. I was half-listening to it,but was completely distracted from the computerwhen the story turned to a bleeding statue of theVirgin Mary. I told Colin (22): “Don’t let yourmother know you’re watching this crap”. Not toworry. As I went up to bed and said goodnight,she didn’t reply. She doesn’t miss much.In a story 4 days later the AP reported, inpart: ‘The Catholic League for Religious andCivil Rights is condemning an episode of “SouthPark” that it said “defiled” the Virgin Mary. Thecartoon, which runs on Comedy Central, featuresan episode this week titled “Bloody Mary,” inwhich a South Park character claims to have beensprayed with blood from a body orifice of a VirginMary statue. When Pope Benedict investigates, hedeclares that she’s just having her period.’Well, that’s putting it very mildly. And if youget too upset by this sort of thing, please- doNOT read on.What the episode actually said: (you canstream the video from South Park’s website ifyou care to)-A TV news character announces “The statueof the Virgin Mary has started to bleed out it’sa--”. This was repeated several times, with theemphasis on “a—“, apparently to milk (or bleed)the comic reaction.Stan’s dad decides to cure his alcoholism byvisiting the statue. Sick and lame (like the show’sjokes) people are lined up to be cured. A priestanoints an old woman in a wheelchair with bloodfrom the back of the statue. When Stan’s dad iswheeled behind the statue, there is a dramaticpause before the statue erupts, spraying him inthe face with blood, accompanied by a loud fartingsound. He cries “I’m cured. Praise Jesus andMary the Blessed Virgin Mother. Thank You, God.Praise Christ!”Later there is a news flash. “Pope Benedictthe 16th himself visited the statue here in Baileyto witness the miracle first hand.” As the “newsfootage” of the visit plays, the narrator continues:“It was an amazing sight to behold as Pope Benedicthimself made his way through the throngsof people. The Pope then examined the statueclosely.” We are shown a series of close-up shotsof the Pope inching his face ever closer to thestatue, until he gets a very prolonged and loudblast of blood in the face.Announcer: “After witnessing the phenomenonfirst hand, the Pope then cleaned himselfoff and declared the bleeding Virgin Mary wasNOT a miracle. Having investigated closely, thePope determined the blood was not coming fromthe Blessed Virgin’s a--, but from her vagina. Andthe Pope said, quote: ‘A chick bleeding out of hervagina is no miracle. Chicks bleed out of theirvaginas all the time’”The wonderful moral of this South Park“comedy”, the supposed mitigating and sociallyredeeming excuse for such an outrageous anti-Catholic episode, is the epilogue, the “lesson” thatpeople do not need religion or miracles or “higherpowers” in order to cure themselves of bad habits.They possess the power to do so on their own.The Catholic League is urging the board ofViacom, which owns Comedy Central, to apologizeto Catholics. To add to the insult, the episodewas scheduled on the eve of the ImmaculateConception.It’s not the first time South Park has angeredCatholics, or at least the League. In July 2002the show reportedly “maligned all priests aspedophiles”. And when the segment was repeateda month later Comedy Central touted the segmenton its home page, calling it, “The episode theCatholic League denounced. What other reasondo you need to watch it?”What is Viacom? According to their website:“Viacom is a leading global media company, withpreeminent positions in broadcast and cabletelevision, radio, outdoor advertising, and online.With programming that appeals to audiences inevery demographic category across virtually allmedia, the company is a leader in the creation,promotion, and distribution of entertainment,news, sports, music, and comedy. Viacom’s wellknownbrands include CBS, MTV, Nickelodeon,Nick at Nite, VH1, BET, Paramount Pictures,Infinity Broadcasting, Viacom Outdoor, UPN,TV Land, Comedy Central, CMT: Country MusicTelevision, King World, Spike TV, Showtime, andSimon & Schuster.” Viacom is a goliath, withsales of $23.7 billion.CBS: “…the No.1 most-watched network withmore than 200 affiliated stations.” During the ’04Super Bowl, CBS redefined “the boob tube” withthe help of Janet Jackson.MTV: “…the world’s largest televisionnetwork and the leading multimedia brand foryouth…reaching nearly 379 million householdsin 140 territories globally”. The Parents TelevisionCouncil, a group monitoring children’sprogramming, takes the network and its advertisersto task saying, “MTV is watched by 73%of boys and 78% of girls ages 12 to 19, and it isprofoundly influential in the lives of its youngfans by glamorizing drug and alcohol use, sexualpromiscuity and violent behavior.”Infinity Broadcasting: “owns and operates 180radio stations, is one of the largest operators ofradio stations in the United States. Approximately91 percent of its radio stations are located in the50 largest U.S. radio markets.” In 2002 the “Opieand Anthony” show was kicked off the airwavesin New York and 16 other markets when thosetwo “personalities” had a show member describevia cell phone a couple having sex in St. Patrick’sCathedral during Mass. It was August 15, the feastof the Assumption.The “stunt” reportedly was for the annual “Sexfor Sam” contest, sponsored by Samuel AdamsBeer. Participants got points for having sex inpublic places. 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