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40 IRISH AMERICAN NEWS January 2006MICKBy Mike MorleySTATE BANK OFCOUNTRYSIDEMain Office6734 Joliet RoadCountryside, IL 60525(708) 485-3100Darien Office7380 S. Route 83Darien, IL 60561(630) 655-3113Burbank Office6053 W. 79th St.Burbank, IL 60459(708) 599-9860Orland Park Office16250 S. LaGrange RoadOrland Park, IL 60467(708) 873-1485Chicago Office3323 N. Clark StreetChicago, IL 60657(773) 755-2500“The Family Owned Bank forFamilies and Their Businesses”Member FDICDE-MOCK-RACYLast month we speculated what sort of “Januarysurprise” might be coming out of NorthernIreland this year. Perhaps it arrived a bit early. In2002 the power-sharing North-South executivewas dissolved after three men were arrested forbeing part of a “spy ring” in the Stormont government.One of the three was Denis Donaldson,head of Sinn Fein administration at Stormont.Donaldson and Sinn Fein had called the raid a“scam” by Special Branch police to scuttle SinnFein’s chances of taking part in government. ButDonaldson has now admitted he was indeed a spy,and for twenty years… but a spy for the British!That confirms rumors that have been circulatingfor quite some time that Britain had a mole highup in Sinn Fein.Is anyone shocked that Britain was playing allsides of the bridge table, making sure the queenavoided being trumped? Apparently no one overthere is too surprised. Irish Taniste Mary Harneydescribed the news as “incredible”; but ruled outa public inquiry. Britain’s Secretary for NorthernIreland, Peter Hain, also rejected an inquiry.Taoiseach Dermot Ahern: “These events arefortunately the vestige of the past”. Gerry Adams:“We are not going to be deflected by anything…”Martin McGuinness “Time will pass. People willsee all of this in a proper perspective.” Paisleysimply wants “more information” from Blair.Seems just about everyone is politely ignoringthe man behind the curtain.Speaking about Prof, Marvel, the FrankMorgan character in Oz... I was sitting at thecomputer the other night (12/7) while my sontuned the TV to “South Park”. The episode wastitled “Bloody Mary”, and started off with cartooncharacter Stan embarrassed by his father’sarrest for drunk driving. I was half-listening to it,but was completely distracted from the computerwhen the story turned to a bleeding statue of theVirgin Mary. I told Colin (22): “Don’t let yourmother know you’re watching this crap”. Not toworry. As I went up to bed and said goodnight,she didn’t reply. She doesn’t miss much.In a story 4 days later the AP reported, inpart: ‘The Catholic League for Religious andCivil Rights is condemning an episode of “SouthPark” that it said “defiled” the Virgin Mary. Thecartoon, which runs on Comedy Central, featuresan episode this week titled “Bloody Mary,” inwhich a South Park character claims to have beensprayed with blood from a body orifice of a VirginMary statue. When Pope Benedict investigates, hedeclares that she’s just having her period.’Well, that’s putting it very mildly. And if youget too upset by this sort of thing, please- doNOT read on.What the episode actually said: (you canstream the video from South Park’s website ifyou care to)-A TV news character announces “The statueof the Virgin Mary has started to bleed out it’sa--”. This was repeated several times, with theemphasis on “a—“, apparently to milk (or bleed)the comic reaction.Stan’s dad decides to cure his alcoholism byvisiting the statue. Sick and lame (like the show’sjokes) people are lined up to be cured. A priestanoints an old woman in a wheelchair with bloodfrom the back of the statue. When Stan’s dad iswheeled behind the statue, there is a dramaticpause before the statue erupts, spraying him inthe face with blood, accompanied by a loud fartingsound. He cries “I’m cured. Praise Jesus andMary the Blessed Virgin Mother. Thank You, God.Praise Christ!”Later there is a news flash. “Pope Benedictthe 16th himself visited the statue here in Baileyto witness the miracle first hand.” As the “newsfootage” of the visit plays, the narrator continues:“It was an amazing sight to behold as Pope Benedicthimself made his way through the throngsof people. The Pope then examined the statueclosely.” We are shown a series of close-up shotsof the Pope inching his face ever closer to thestatue, until he gets a very prolonged and loudblast of blood in the face.Announcer: “After witnessing the phenomenonfirst hand, the Pope then cleaned himselfoff and declared the bleeding Virgin Mary wasNOT a miracle. Having investigated closely, thePope determined the blood was not coming fromthe Blessed Virgin’s a--, but from her vagina. Andthe Pope said, quote: ‘A chick bleeding out of hervagina is no miracle. Chicks bleed out of theirvaginas all the time’”The wonderful moral of this South Park“comedy”, the supposed mitigating and sociallyredeeming excuse for such an outrageous anti-Catholic episode, is the epilogue, the “lesson” thatpeople do not need religion or miracles or “higherpowers” in order to cure themselves of bad habits.They possess the power to do so on their own.The Catholic League is urging the board ofViacom, which owns Comedy Central, to apologizeto Catholics. To add to the insult, the episodewas scheduled on the eve of the ImmaculateConception.It’s not the first time South Park has angeredCatholics, or at least the League. In July 2002the show reportedly “maligned all priests aspedophiles”. And when the segment was repeateda month later Comedy Central touted the segmenton its home page, calling it, “The episode theCatholic League denounced. What other reasondo you need to watch it?”What is Viacom? According to their website:“Viacom is a leading global media company, withpreeminent positions in broadcast and cabletelevision, radio, outdoor advertising, and online.With programming that appeals to audiences inevery demographic category across virtually allmedia, the company is a leader in the creation,promotion, and distribution of entertainment,news, sports, music, and comedy. Viacom’s wellknownbrands include CBS, MTV, Nickelodeon,Nick at Nite, VH1, BET, Paramount Pictures,Infinity Broadcasting, Viacom Outdoor, UPN,TV Land, Comedy Central, CMT: Country MusicTelevision, King World, Spike TV, Showtime, andSimon & Schuster.” Viacom is a goliath, withsales of $23.7 billion.CBS: “…the No.1 most-watched network withmore than 200 affiliated stations.” During the ’04Super Bowl, CBS redefined “the boob tube” withthe help of Janet Jackson.MTV: “…the world’s largest televisionnetwork and the leading multimedia brand foryouth…reaching nearly 379 million householdsin 140 territories globally”. The Parents TelevisionCouncil, a group monitoring children’sprogramming, takes the network and its advertisersto task saying, “MTV is watched by 73%of boys and 78% of girls ages 12 to 19, and it isprofoundly influential in the lives of its youngfans by glamorizing drug and alcohol use, sexualpromiscuity and violent behavior.”Infinity Broadcasting: “owns and operates 180radio stations, is one of the largest operators ofradio stations in the United States. Approximately91 percent of its radio stations are located in the50 largest U.S. radio markets.” In 2002 the “Opieand Anthony” show was kicked off the airwavesin New York and 16 other markets when thosetwo “personalities” had a show member describevia cell phone a couple having sex in St. Patrick’sCathedral during Mass. It was August 15, the feastof the Assumption.The “stunt” reportedly was for the annual “Sexfor Sam” contest, sponsored by Samuel AdamsBeer. Participants got points for having sex inpublic places. St. Patrick’s merited 25 points,Central Park only 10. Different sex acts were alsoassigned point values.BanquetsIntimate Elegancein a truly Irish settingFor all your occasionsEvents from 50-120 guestsChristenings Communions Graduations ShowersRehearsal Dinners Weddings Private Funeral Luncheons7280 W. Devon AvenueCall 773.774.4001BUILDER SERVICESBRACKENBOX is INDEPENDENTLY OWNED.This means when you call you get service, chances areyou will talk to the same person every time you call. AtBRACKENBOX we would like to offer the bestservice at the best price. 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January 2006 IRISH AMERICAN NEWS 41Winners got a trip to Boston events sponsoredby Samuel Adams. Jim Koch, Samuel Adams’chairman was in the studio, acting as “GrandMarshal” for the event. It gets worse. We’llspare you.Opie and Anthony were off the air for twoyears. But they didn’t lose a dime. They collectedpaychecks until their contract with Infinity ranout, and have now moved to XM satellite radio,where there are no odious FCC rules to gag theirwisdom.“Showtime Networks Inc. (SNI) owns thepremium television networks Showtime, TheMovie Channel and FLIX. SNI owns a 30 percentinterest in Sundance Channel, which is aventure among NBC Universal, Robert Redfordand SNI.”Penn Jillette, of Penn & Teller- Penn’s the bigone, with the big mouth. Last May in a ShowtimePenn and Teller episode titled “Holier than Thou”he mocked Mother Teresa, saying the poor “hadto suffer so that Mother f---ing Teresa could beenlightened”. He called her nuns f---ing c---s.(No, he didn’t say Catholics, or even cows. AndFYI: on NPR’s Morning Edition, November 21,he declared: “I believe that there is no God. I’mbeyond atheism.”)We’ll go into this subject some more in alater column. And I hope to open the curtain tointroduce you to the Professor Wizards of showbiz. For now I’d like to pose the question, “WhyCatholics? Are Catholics more wimpy than otherfolks? Are they conditioned to feel guilty whenblameless? Do they simply ignore the mockery,believing they “blend”? Where is the outrage?Prof. Arthur Schlessinger, Sr. (Harvard) oncenoted that anti-Catholicism is “the deepest biasin the history of the American people”. Prof.Peter Viereck (Yale): “Catholic baiting is theanti-Semitism of the liberals.”In this country, blatant mockery of religionis supposed to be against the law. Why is Catholicismthe exception? It is said members ofthe KKK described the initials as standing forthe three targets of their hatred: Koons, Kikes andKatholics. Why are the latter still fair game?Watch IRISH TV JOURNALChicago- All cable systems: Channel 19:Monday 7PM, Tuesday 2PMComcast- (Elmhurst billing) 41West suburbs– Channel 19: Tuesday 7:30 PMComcast- (Skokie billing) 24 North suburbs–Ch. 19 (or 35): Tuesday, 6PME-mail: IrishTV@ameritech.net ©Mike Morley 2006Dance & Mime ShopChicago’s premiere dance / theatre shopoffering:dancewear, shoes,costumes, make-upand accessories forWomen, Men,Children andplus sizesSpecializing in:Ballet, Jazz, Flamenco,Tap, Gymnastics, Skating,Lyrical and BallroomAlexis Frees Kiernan 312.666.4406643 W Grand Ave • Chicago, ILwww.danceandmimeshop.comVoted Best Dance Shop in Chicago MagazineSinn Fein rejectsOTR legislationSinn Fein has rejected new legislation whichis supposed to give so-called “on-the-run”republicans an amnesty. The plans cover upto 150 people wanted for crimes committedbefore 1998. They would have their casesheard by a special tribunal and, if found guilty,would be freed on license without having togo to jail. The scheme will be temporary buta precise cut-off period is not specified in thebill - instead its expiry is linked to the lifetimeof the chief constable’s historic cases reviewteam, which is looking at unsolved murdersduring the Troubles.The proposed law would set up a two-stageprocess. First someone who will be known asthe certification officer will decide if someoneis eligible for the scheme. The case would thengo to a special tribunal, consisting of a retiredjudge sitting without a jury. The tribunal wouldhave all the normal powers of the Crown Courtbut accused would not have to appear for theirtrial. If found guilty, they would get a criminalrecord but would be freed on license. Theywould have to provide fingerprints and DNAsamples to be granted their license.Party vice-president Pat Doherty said thelegislation was “far removed” from what hadbeen agreed during 2001 talks with the Britishgovernment at Weston Park. He also accusedthe government of “sleight of hand. But theBritish government said there was no othervehicle for dealing with OTRs. A NorthernIreland Office spokesman said Sinn Feinwere “deluding themselves”, if they thoughtthat there was.Sinn Fein initially welcomed it, but nowrealize it will not only give an amnesty to IRAmembers but also to any soldiers or police officerswho committed murder during 30 yearsof violence. Mr. Doherty led a delegation ofparty members and victims’ groups to meet Mr.Hain to give their views on the Northern Ireland(Offences) Bill which is currently going throughParliament, urging the government to scrap thelegislation and “stick to what was agreed”.TG4 is looking for yourold movies of IrelandTG4, the Irish language TV station basedin Galway, is very interested in uncovering oldmoving picture footage of Belfast, Dublin anddietaryspecialty shoplil’s dietary specialty shopwhere everyone is specialEVERY DAY FOOD FOR PEOPLE WITH:Celiac Disease, Diabetes, Food allergies,Autism, PKU, etc.We carry complete lines of wheat free, glutenfree, sugar free, egg free, soy free, corn free,casien free, nut free, yeast free, dairy free, lowprotein, high protein, low carb, vegan andvegetarian foods.(773) 239-0355 CHGOShop 24 Hours a Day - LILSDIETARY.COMSTORE OPEN TU-W-FR 10-6 & SAT 10-3CLOSED SUN & MON2738 W 111th CHICAGOany other part of Ireland which has not beenpreviously broadcast as well as footage of IrishCommunities abroad.Amateur footage is of particular interest- the older the better. Were you a keen amateurfilm-maker or know of any film that is waitingfor its chance on the small-screen? Were youposted in the north of Ireland during WW2and took a movie camera with you? Do youhave footage of holidays in Ireland or are youof Irish heritage and have footage of familycelebrations, reunions or GAA games ormaybe St. Patrick’s Day Parades in The USA,UK, Canada or Ireland?Footage will be used as part of a majorarchive history series and the producers wouldespecially like to hear from those whose footageshow aspects of rural and city life in Ireland- transport; working life; sport; conflict; musicetc. If you think you could help, contact Deirdreor Martin at Stirling Productions on 00442890333848, or email deirdreellis@gmail.com orresearch@stirlingtelevision.co.ukClair and Sean Callan at the opening of theIrish American Heritage Center Library.BRIDAL TEASBaby ShowersBirthdays847-948-1724Ladies’ BenefitsSpecial OccasionsAn elegant event,hosted in full VictorianCostume with traditionalfinger tea sandwiches,English sconesand petit pastries,exquisitely displayedwith fresh flowers.Served with:Fine China,Victorian Silver,Vintage LinensAntique Tea CartsTrinity OrthopaedicsTrinity Orthopaedics, S.C.is pleased toannounce that Daniel G. Torres, M.D. hasjoined us in the practice of MusculoskeletalCare effective December 1st, 2005, specializingin Rheumatology and Arthritis.Dr. Torresjoins us from West Suburban AmbulatoryCare, where he practiced for 10 years. He isClinical Assistant Professor of Medicine atLoyola University School of Medicine. Hecompleted his residency in Internal Medicineat Montefiore/University of Pittsburgh MedicalCenter. He received his fellowship trainingat Case Western Reserve University Schoolof Medicine.Dr. Torres has special interests in the treatmentof osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis andspondyloarthropathies. He is bilingual and fluentin Spanish. To schedule a consultation withDr. Torres, please call (708) 848-4662FINANCIAL PLANNINGCorrigan Financial Services, Inc.Money Concepts Financial Planning CentreEstablished 1980Retirement Planning SpecialistforIndividuals - Families - BusinessInvestment - Tax - Estate PlanningCallMike & Chuck Corrigan(708)482-3800Member International Association for Financial PlanningMcGuire’sGarlandFlowersCelebrate!137 S. OakPark AveWe’re as close as your phone1-877-244-3181Da i ly De l i v e r y - Wo r l d w id e Se r v i c eThesilverbridgebandSundays At Six Penny Bit 8pm - MidnightThursdays at Six Penny Bit with Jerry EadeyAvailable solo or withThe Silverbridge BandFestivalsDinner DancesWeddingsPartiesCD’S Available:Co m e By Th e Hills•Life Of Th e Ro v e r •My De a r Fa t h e rJo e Mcsh a n e Co m p o s e d •Fr o m Fetters To Freedom847-226-4056 mcshn1623@aol.com
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