Constantine - The Novelization - Whoa is (Not)

second-sight. "You think Satan's son will be any different?" he asked. Constantine shook hishead. "He'll just turn this place into his own Hell - and then where will you go to party?" Hesmiled thinly. "Heaven?"She frowned. He was rather cruelly emphasizing that Ellie, at least, would never knowHeaven."No need to get rough," she said.Constantine snorted. "Never bothered you before,"All the time aware of that demon - a lawyer, predictably - edging its way closer to his flank.Ellie smiled at his little joke about roughness."I am so going to miss our little trysts. Hotter than Hell.""Me too, kid."The demon on his left was bending its knees, about to spring...Constantine could feel it trying to keep its thoughts hidden so he couldn't read its mind, but hecaught some fragments anyway.One spring, tear out his throat... but don't kill him too quick.... The boss will get him soon enough I canfeed on his suffering as he bleeds to death, if I do it just right. I can almost taste the blood.... One step more,and then...Constantine pulled out his cigarette lighter with his left hand. "You are in violation of theBalance," he said, addressing them all in a loud, officious, annoyingly reasonable voice. "Leaveimmediately or 1 will deport you.""Oh, John," Ellie said, "this is so embarrassing. Where's your pride?" She gave him a look ofsaddened pity.He knew it looked ridiculous, telling a roomful of demons he was going to deport them with acigarette lighter. But there was precious little pleasure remaining to him in his doomed life, andhe enjoyed the moment anyway. Constantine had always felt that the whole universe wasinherently absurd - he'd felt an obscure pleasure, a kind of personal revenge, in helping to point itup by creating moments that showed the architects of the cosmos their own exquisite absurdity."All of you!" he went on, waving the cigarette lighter. "Beat it! Shove off! Take the firstdown escalator!"The half-breed that had been about to jump him paused a moment in uncertainty, wonderingwhat Constantine was up to. Constantine took that opportunity to step up onto a lobby chair,raising the lighter higher, thrusting it at the ceiling.Ellie shook her head sadly at him."Baby doll," he said to Ellie. "Go to Hell."Ellie looked up at the ceiling - suspecting, then just as the flame in his lighter triggered thefire-extinguishing sprinklers.The water sprayed down on the roomful of demons - demons in business suits and doctors'coats and delivery uniforms, all looking cynically amused as they were doused.The water had no effect at all, except to ruin the cut of their outfits. He heard one of themmutter disgustedly about just having gotten the suit from the dry cleaner."This was your plan?" Ellie said, sighing.The water's downspray slowed, almost stopped for a moment. Then came a new spurt in thelines, and suddenly it was as if a discordant music heard only by the demons was playing, sendingthem into a mad dance. They leapt about screaming, contorting, gyrating, as their skin began tofry, to sizzle away from immersion in..."Holy water!" Ellie shrieked.Constantine felt an unspeakable relief: Chaz had done his job. Constantine had been far fromsure he would succeed. Chaz had used the blessed cross Midnite had given them to turn the waterin the overhead fire sprinklers into holy water.The demons danced to a violin tarantella of sheer agony - it was a metaphysical agony as wellas physical, their very souls tormented by the touch of the divine energy impregnating the holy