Constantine - The Novelization - Whoa is (Not)

who. Lucifer and his boys. Demons are the wolves that roam that spiritual wilderness. And theyprey on you out there. So you've put your own self outside God's grace - this is the story I'veheard, anyway - and God says, 'Sorry, nothing personal, y'all, I'd like to help, but - you're on yourown out there, pal'. And since you're alone in the wilderness, you get eaten. But it's not like theBig Guy - or Big Girl, or Androgyne, depending on how you see God - it's not like the BigCosmic Dude wrote a rule book and arbitrarily said, 'Die and you go to Hell for all eternity.' Theconsequence of suicide is just sort of built into things. It's part of the spiritual physics - just in thenature of the universe. But I'll tell you something else, Angela: It's not as if He She or It couldn'tcome and get you out of the Outer Darkness, if He, She, or It really wanted to, and that's the partthat pisses me off, because I never asked to be born into all these rules....""People say that, about not asking to be born," Angela said musingly. "But actually - how doyou know you didn't ask to be born? Where were you, before you were here - before you wereborn? Do you remember? Maybe you existed in some way. Maybe you did ask to be born."Constantine grunted: close as he came to even provisional agreement on that issue. Thinking:Hidden depths to this woman. He started to comment but the coughing interrupted him."How bad is it?" she asked after a moment. "I mean - whatever it is you're sick from."He sighed. He'd been treasuring the notion that sometime before the end she'd somehowmiraculously find him desirable and they might... get closer yet. The other kind of intimacy. Butwho wanted to get involved with a terminal cancer patient right before he goes down?If she did - then it'd probably be for all the wrong reasons. But it was no good lying to her."It's bad," he said. "Lung cancer."She didn't say anything for a while. They paused on a comer to look around. They wereoutside what looked like a gay disco, with people just leaving after last call. Laughing couples - afew of them bickering - in skintight pants and muscle shirts, milling on the sidewalk. The musicsome variant of trance; through the open door, Constantine could see a mirror ball throwing offlight, spinning like a planet designed by a god with bad taste."When we were little," Angela said suddenly, "Isabel saw things too. Like you did. And..."Her purse started to chime. She dug through it, found her cell phone, flipped it open."Lieutenant Dodson..." Her expression darkened. ''I'm nearby. Yeah. Send a car over...."--"Just a block or so away from here," Detective Xavier was saying, "there's a morgue...."They stood in the shambles of the liquor store, amid alcohol and blood and broken glass.Angela and Xavier were there, where Father Hennessy had had his rampage, along with threeuniformed cops. John Constantine was leaning against the door frame behind them.Mostly he was just thinking about Hennessy. Figuring this was his fault, somehow. Notliking the feeling."And this guy" - Weiss indicated Hennessy's body - "was also over at that morgue. Securityguard was saying he was 'handling' a girl's body.""What was he doing to her?"Xavier just shook his head. "Comes in here, has a go at the entire stock. Alcohol poisoning.Guy drank himself to death in under a minute. Should have been l in my fraternity."Xavier noticed Constantine and snorted. "What the hell is he doing here?"Constantine picked his way carefully across the floor to squat close beside Hennessy. Staringat the bloated body."Hey!" A uniformed cop noticing Constantine came over to intervene. "Get away from there-"Angela stepped in between Constantine and the cop, flashing her badge. "Body's worked up andtagged, right? Just leave him be."Constantine took in the gouge on Hennessy's hand; the blood on his face. He pattedHennessy's coat - found the protective amulet in a pocket. Drew it out, hefted it for a moment,thinking: