Constantine - The Novelization - Whoa is (Not)

years before.He saw two feet descending toward him, coming down in a pose like Christ on the cross."What took you so long?" Constantine asked."Hello, John," said a familiar voice.The voice of Lucifer, the Light. Also known as Iblis, as Old Scratch, as Shaytan. As Satan."Your dying," Satan went on, his voice deep and echoing, "is the one show I wouldn't miss.""So I've heard... You mind?" Constantine asked, thinking about a last smoke. Why the hellnot?"Be my guest."Satan even smiled. He flapped his leathery wings once, adopting a debonair pose. The classicSatan. He, after all, could come here. His son couldn't. The demons couldn't, except as halfbreeds.But while the Devil didn't own the human world, he counted it as his turf.Constantine reached into his jacket, lit a cigarette.He was aware that time was of the essence, but he also knew that time was in some waysmalleable for Lucifer. They both knew he was asking for time for a smoke. So Lucifer hadstopped the movement of Constantine's death, just enough so he could smoke a last cigarette - andso Satan could savor what he was about to do for all eternity, to someone who'd been a thorn inhis side for a generation. Time was slowed to nearly a stop in the rest of the hospital too -something Constantine was counting on."Coffin nail," Constantine said, clamping the cigarette in his lips - they were so numb hecouldn't feel it there without pressing hard."Fitting," said Satan, with a smile that chilled the room like a glacial wind. I've got all mannerof red delights in store for you, son."Constantine blew smoke at the Devil. "Aren't you a peach."Satan looked at Constantine's slit wrists. Puzzled by the apparent suicide. "I didn't think you'dmake the same mistake twice."Constantine smiled at him. Took a drag. Blew a smoke ring. He was weak as a starved kitten- it was hard just to hold his hand up to smoke."You didn't, did you?" Satan said. Make the same mistake twice, he meant. RealizingConstantine was up to something..."So," Constantine said. "How's the family?""And why would that matter to you?" Satan asked, suspiciously."Word is that kid of yours is a chip off the old block.""One does what one can.""...He's in the other room.""Well, boys will be boys," Satan rumbled, yawning."With Gabriel.""No accounting for taste, really." Satan was losing patience. His eyes flared between greenand red. "Your point?""He has the Spear of Destiny," Constantine said. Hoping, hoping like Heaven and Hell thatthe Devil didn't know that Mammon had the spear. Gambling that the Devil didn't know exactlywhat Mammon was planning.The Devil was not omniscient. But if Satan did know that the rogue angel and Mammon hadthe spear, then this last-gasp effort had been a waste. Because if he already knew - he approved.Nothing went on in Hell without his approval, unless it was done behind his back."Like the old days, John?" Satan growled. "This another one of your cons?"Eureka! The old boy hadn't known!"Go look for yourself," Constantine said.Satan glared suspicion at him - the glare was like a thousand-watt tanning lamp turned right onConstantine's face."You've waited twenty years for me," Constantine pointed out. "What's another twenty