ABU DHABI 2010 - Tempoplanet

OnBy Rantan RaveGarlic Breath!Garlic - we all love it. In marinara pizza, Tzatziki sauce, basil pestoand succulent roast lamb, and we all know that garlic is a superfood with natural antibiotic and cancer fighting properties blahblah blah.But believe me, all of that wonderful garlic talk goes out of thewindow when the garlic you’re breathing in is blowing out ofsomeone’s mouth. And especially if that person is the passengernext to you in an airplane 35,000 feet above ground trip for fourhours between Cairo and Abu Dhabi.Forgive me for being indelicate, but the smell was so hideous itdrove evil thoughts into my head, like jumping out of the plane, orjumping the pilot for an immediate landing.The man sitting next to me was a huge man, with a sweettemperament (he looked in my direction every so often to smile).My reaction was to shrivel in my seat, unable to focus on in-flightentertainment and hold a perfumed hanky to my nose. The stenchwas so strong it made me sweat, and I spent the whole flightwiping my face with icy cold water. Could bad smell be used asa torture tool? Me thinks it can. And after that ordeal I believethere’s a whole science on this waiting to be uncovered. And whenlunch came?? It was chicken tikka perfumed garlic butter rice andratatouille. Needless to say, I felt like purging.So after weathering this experience, what is my suggestion? Ibelieve posters that list all those things that you can’t takeon board with you—like firearms, explosives, sharp knives,unregulated drugs etc etc, should include a diplomatically wordedrecommendation asking passengers to do a quick body odourcheck before embarking. And if you have garlic breath? Well, you getpolitely escorted out of the plane to a specially outfitted detox roomwhere you’re made to air out your lungs in time for the next flight.Send us your comments at editorial@abudhabitempo.comArablishAbu Dhabi or Abudhabior Abou Dhabi??A common, and extremely annoyingmistake, we see in the UAE, and this bypeople who are longtime residents ofour fair emirate, is the misspelling of AbuDhabi. For anyone who has doubts it’s AbuDhabi—not Abudhabi. Dubai, Sharjah andAjman are rarely misspelled. But then yousee variations in Fujairah, which is oftenmisspelled as “Fujeirah or Fujaira and thenthere’s Umm Al Quwain which is habituallyspelled as Umm Al Quwein, Umm Al Qaiwain(as spelled by the National Bank of Umm Al‘Qaiwain’)or Om Al Quwain.The challenge in transferring spellings intoEnglish is that words in Arabic are writtenin a different alphabet, so there is nostandard spelling in English. Mohammedcan be spelled Mohamed, or Muhammed,or Muhamed, or Mohammad, or Mohamadetc. Anyone in the business of trackingregistrants for an event knows how difficultit is to track by an Arabic name if all youhave a name without information on howthe person spells it.There have been initiatives, some byreputable institutions to ‘standardize’Arabic spellings of names, but such a goal islaughable at best. Imagine being told howto write your name…sorry you’re name isD-u-w-a not D-u-a-a, or its M-a-r-i-a-m notM-a-r-y-a-m etc.A person’s spelling of his or her name shouldbe respected. And so it should be for citiesand countries. So let›s have one versionof Umm Al Quwain and Fujairah. The onlyexception that we›ll see is bound to bespelling using Latin letters but in anotherlanguage, which would excuse (well, almost)the French spellings of Abou Dhabi andDoubai. But other than that, no mistakes s’ilvous plait.Have any linguistic nightmares to report?Send ‘em in atarablish@abudhabitempo.comFUNNYTHINGABOUT LIFE“I travel in the public buses quite frequently and I think the government needs to be applauded for theirefforts in providing an economical and convenient means of transport to all. However I do have a complaint.In hot summer months (which means almost all year round), many labourers also use the bus for commutingto and from their homes. There is no politically-correct way to say this but most of the time, due to the natureof their work, they stink! I wonder if automatic air fresheners can be introduced (maybe Airwick or some otherbrand) to keep the buses smelling nice and also to keep the other commuters breathing! Sometimes I wonderwhy bathing facilities are not providedto the workers on-site to counter thesocial rejection and embarrassmentthey must face while travelling bypublic transport. I too wish to have mydiscomfort known but then I imaginemyself in their shoes and I realize it’s notright for us to blame them. So, are therest of us to suffer silently?”Over toYou“I feel the same way. But what can we do? It’s cruel and disrespectful to point it out.I have seen some Asians cover their noses when a labourer steps onboard and Ithink that’s just plain rude!”Robert L.“I think they do have built-in air fresheners in the air conditioning system. In someAC systems, fresh air is taken in through dampers so that the same air doesn’t getre-circulated. I wonder if they employ the same mechanism in ventilation systemsfor buses.”Jay V. Shankar“The authorities should take note of this. We had similar school buses back inSweden, when a stinker (that’s what we called them) would hop on the bus none ofus sat beside him or her. It sent across a loud message! But labourers probably can’thelp it. Not their fault I say.”Jamie O.“Why don’t such people lobby for introduction of bathing facilities for constructionsite workers rather than complain.”Rahila BadarSend your stories to mystory@abudhabitempo.comMiss Manners20 21Tempo April 2010www.abudhabitempo.com