ABU DHABI 2010 - Tempoplanet

LifecoachBy Samantha DavishomesmartDo and Don’tsof MarriageIf only it were that easy - compiling a universal list of someof the biggest mistakes couples make in their first few yearsof marriage so that the rest of us won’t make the same oneswhen we get hitched. Unfortunately no such list exists, whatdoes exist is a basic understanding of why some relationshipsfail and what can other young couples do to avoid the samefate. For those of you who have already committed over fiveyears to marriage; you may want to read these pointers toclear away those invisible communication barriers whichstill exist between you and your spouse. And last but not theleast, if some of you feel that your marriage is the epitome ofmarital bliss, then write to editorial@abudhabitempo.comand tell us how you got there!The Do’s• Do praise your spouse aloud! Don’twait till their birthday or Valentine’sDay to appreciate them and tellthem how they contribute to yourlife everyday, every hour, and everysecond.• Do admit your mistakes. Usually theblame game runs on for days beforesomeone realizes it has got to end.Why lose that precious time you havetogether fretting about fault andaccountability. If it is your mistake,admit it and move on!• Do tell your partner how much youlove them everyday. Every single day!Since most people have a tendency toforget, link it to a mundane everydayactivity like taking your morning pills,or reading your newspaper or whileswitching off your mobile alarm whileyou are still in bed. Small gestures likethese are very effective in the longrun. Like those peachy refrigeratormagnets, reminding your spouses thatthey matter most in your life.• Do figure out areas of commonality. Itgives you a comfort space where youcan dwell before you can move on tobigger issues like family and culturaldifferences, religion and politics (yah,this too can be and issue!)• Do employ tact while criticizingyour spouse. It is best not to deploytorpedoes of hurtful remarks to battertheir self-esteem just because youknow them intimately. Rather mentionit like it doesn’t bother you much andthat you can forgive their folly. Surely,you too will falter some day andrevenge as they say is pretty sweet!• Do sacrifice some of your old habitsto accommodate your partner’srequests. When you make and oath tolive ‘as one’, compromising old waysis included. It’s a simple choice really;would you rather wear your shoes tobed or cuddle up with your lovingpartner? Sorry guys, but your side hasthe most annoying habits at times!The Don’ts• Don’t compete with your spouse.Leave your competitive spirit at thedoor when entering your home.Borrowing from Tom Cruise’sphilosophy in Jerry Maguire andmodifying it to reflect our modernlifestyle: a partner should completethe other; and not contend toout-smart them like teenage overachieversin high school.• Don’t let work issues spill-over intoyour home. They don’t belong thereand will cause only more rifts in yourrelationship. It’s okay to share yourproblems and pressures about workwith your partner but that should bethe extent of it.• Don’t threaten to leave or divorceyour spouse even if you are angry.The words are hard to take back onceuttered and they reduce the stabilityof your marriage to shreds as yourpartner feels disposable and betrayed.No matter what you say, some thingscan never be taken back. Be mindfulof what you say when you are angry.• Don’t spend time fiddling withelectronic gadgets like iphones andblackberries once you are home. That‘silent’ mode isn’t just for meetingsyou know. Let your spouse feel thatthey have your undivided attentionwhen they are around you.• Don’t make a to-do list of housechores and nag him about it. Makepolite suggestions and discusswith him how leaving somethingundone hinders your ‘homemakingprocess’. Guys tend to move awayfrom mother-like figures. You’ve beenwarned sisters!• Don’t think too much about fittinginto the role of an ideal wife orhusband. There is no such thing!There is only you, your partner, howcompatible you are with each otherand what you make with the timethat you’ve been given. Throw allinhibitions out the window and livewith the person you’ve chosen to beyour soul mate. Period.Everyone has something they do better than anyone else. You have the brag rights andTempo is giving you the space, so send us your helpful tips and tricks to making lifesimpler and richer. Just make sure its all original and all you!TempoTip!Want a personalized coaster? Justprint out your favourite design,paste it on a CD and cover it withplastic adhesive. Next trace thesame CD onto a piece of felt.Cut out the felt and glue it to theunderside of the CD. Send us apicture of your crafty designs.Send us your tips: HYPERLINK “mailto:editorial@abudhabitempo.com”“I don’t have a tip, it’s rather a suggestion. When decoratinga room, paint walls last. My husband and I had a worrisometwo days right before Easter. We were in a rush to get ournewly painted guest room furnished in time to receiveinternational guests. Nothing went with the almost lemongreen wall paint that my husband had chosen (men!!). Takeit from some one who has been there, you can mix paint intoany colour under the sun. So go for furniture and fabric first!”Martha Hue“To get my kids to eat broccoli I began adding it to my home-mademacaroni and cheese. The taste of the broccoli wasn’t strong enough to makethe dish taste bad. Neither did my kids notice it. Then when they got used to it, I justadded a visible amount!”Mommy Knows Best“When grilling beef burgers, cook them over a medium flame. Normally when cooked at ahigh flame, the burgers char in the outside and remain an uncooked mess on the inside.” Hank Z“This Easter we got a little lazy and painted over store-bought eggs. In the Abu Dhabi heat, my kids’ egg hunt resulted in arotten smelly affair with adults to blame for tarnishing their special day. Take heed, boiling and blowing eggs out takes someextra work but it’s worth it!”Bob“If you wish to freeze coleslaw for a week, it’s best to keep it soupy (depending upon the water content of the cabbage that youare using). Do let it sit in the fridge overnight before freezing. This helps in maintaining its freshness for the next time it is served.”Salad QueenTEMPOPRICECHECKERDescription AmtLulu hyper market Dh 16.60Carrefour Dh 16.95Emirates General Market Dh 16.60Cooperative Dh 16.75Product:Ives Apricot Scrub (170g)24 www.abudhabitempo.com 25Tempo April 2010