Bubba Clears Up Youth Sailing ConundrumIt appears, at least from the news stories thathave been circulating in the sailing media <strong>for</strong>some time, that younger sailors are notgravitating to the sport—a sport <strong>for</strong> life—inthe quantity of years gone by, when youngstersonce approached sailing as if it was theHoly Grail.Back in the olden days, junior sailingwas the door that led to tony social contacts,a coterie of friends who made you part of their augustgroup because you sailed, gorgeous girls from moneyedfamilies, yacht club memberships in places like Greenwichand Larchmont, possible Ivy League college opportunitiesand, if you were really good, your name eventually gotplaced on the letterhead of a New York law firm or the doorto a corner office in a building on Wall Street.If you made the right contacts and sailed well enough,you got to know people like Olin Stephens, BriggsCunningham, Bob Mosbacher, Sam Merrick, Joe Jessup, BillFicker and other men whose yachting and social credentialswere as unimpeachable as bullion from the U.S. Mint.These days, apparently, the growth of sailing as a sportis suffering from a case of the slows. Certainly, today’syouth has far more distractions to deal with than theirgrandfathers did. Some of them are electronic. Kids todayare hooked on text messaging as low-life junkies used toget brought to the dungeons of mortality by awful stuff likeheroin. Text messaging is legal. Crystal meth, on the otherhand, is not, but it’s out there and as available as an iPhone.All you need is money and a need. Someone will help youalong the road to perdition <strong>for</strong> a small profit.The subject of sailors who are young enough to take upthe sport and eventually become good at it, if they have theskills, smarts, coaching and the will, was on the mind oflive-alone, live-aboard sailor Bubba Whartz as we bothsipped beers at The Blue Moon Bar one afternoon thisspring, when the weather was warmer than we had wantedand the funky darkness of The BlueMoon seemed preferable to the abundanceof scalding sunlight outside.The light and the heat got me tothinking about the summer seasonhere in Florida when senior citizensand members of the AARP regularly getinto fistfights and duels with furledumbrellas (touché!) over shaded parking places.“The sort of universal buzz, Bubba,” I said to the liveaboard,live-alone sailor and skipper of the ferro-cementsloop Right Guard, “is that young people are turning awayfrom youth sailing these days like Muslims at a pig roast.”“Yeah, I’ve heard that, too.” Bubba replied. “Some saythere are too many choices in other areas. Some guys areinto computers now. They never get sunburned. The winddoesn’t die on them and leave them sitting still on a pondwhose surface looks as glassy as a mirror. Older guys getinto cars, or start dreaming of them at about age 14. Theyhave a need <strong>for</strong> speed. Sailing isn’t their avenue, theirvenue. Fifty years ago we didn’t have skateboards, go-carts,snowboards, text messaging, cell phones, parents whopicked you up at the school bus stop so you didn’t have towalk three blocks to your home, movies aimed at teenagers,MP3 players and ear buds. There were far fewer distractionsback then. Nowadays, there‘s serious competition <strong>for</strong> theattention of American youth, a collective group not known<strong>for</strong> having the longest attention span in the world.”“Then you are saying that youth sailing is in a world of hurt?”“I never said that,” Bubba grumped.“You intimated it,” I replied.“If I get intimate with someone, they’ll know it,” Bubbacrowed. Our discussion had veered off the tracks like a longtrain of coal cars with a broken braking system on a downhillgrade. Conversationally, this was “The Wreck of the Old 97.”“Look, Bubba,” I protested, “I’m not going to debatesemantics with you. It seems sailing is not attracting the minor12 May 2012 SOUTHWINDS www.southwindsmagazine.com
By Morgan Stinemetzleague players who go on, with time and training, to be therock stars of the new age. Do you agree, or do you disagree?”“I agree,” Bubba said while looking Doobie’s way andordering a couple of fresh beers by making the “V” sign asWinston Churchill used to make to promote Victory overthe Huns. There the similarity stopped. Bubba had no ideawho Churchill had been.“But it is fixable,” Bubba added.I’d never heard that be<strong>for</strong>e. I’d often read about thediminishing youth participation in sailing as the beginningof the end. No one, save Bubba, had ever said it was fixable.“Fixable?” I gurgled.“Sure,” said Bubba brightly. “It’s a cinch. It’s just thatno one has come up with the right answer.”“And you have?”“Of course I have,” Bubba replied. “It’s elementary.What is the most basic issue in every teenager guy’s life?”“God? Country? A good education? Family? A nice car?Friends?” I postulated.“You are such a dim bulb,” Bubba said to me. “Themost basic issue is girls. Femmes. Broads. Teenage guysspend half their waking hours thinking about girls, and ifthey feel their energy lagging, they grab some energy drinklike Monster or Mountain Dew so they can dream on.”“How does that translate to an increase in youth sailing?”“US SAILING needs to start training shapely, attractive15- to 16-year-old girls to teach 12-year-old guys how to sail.Gulfport Municipal MarinaYour Gateway to the Gulf &Boca Ciega Bay Aquatic PreserveThink of the motivation the guys would have just to cometo training. They’d be counting the minutes all day long.Training would become Nirvana. They’d get to be aroundolder women with ripening bodies and more sophisticationthan they would normally see in middle school. In the summerthese instructors would have tan bodies and wear swimmingsuits, which are usually pretty interesting to guys.Youth sailing would enjoy a huge spike in participation.Guys wouldn’t be thinking of how cool life will be when theyare old enough to get a driver’s license. They’d start thinkingof how cool life would be when they could start learning howto sail well. If US SAILING issued its own brand of sunscreen with a musky, unique odor to it, every time a juniorsailor got a whiff of it he’d think of sailing”Bubba didn’t quit there.“It would work just as well <strong>for</strong> junior girl sailors. Thechemistry is as old as history itself. Get handsome, hard-bodiedyoung guys with perfect manners and a smile that wouldlight up the Hollywood Bowl to teach the girls. Having theinstructors come equipped with six-pack abs wouldn’t bemandatory, but it would help. A few of those guys in a sailingprogram would make junior girl sailors act like a passelof hungry cats when the first can of cat food was opened.“Neither side, the junior guys or the junior gals, wouldhave any trouble getting the kids to listen or pay attentionto the instructors. The kids would be sopping up everyword like Bounty paper towels on spilled milk. They’d allwant to be the one who stood out best in the instructor’sestimation. And the instructors would be coached from thestart to be lavish with praise, were the praise justified,”Bubba pronounced.“What you’re talking about is getting kids into sailingby luring them in like hooked fish by using sex as theundertow,” I said to Bubba.“Well, of course, you dolt,” sparked Bubba. “The attractionhas been around <strong>for</strong>ever. It’s part of our genetic code.Young guys have a tendency to want to be around attractivegirls, to get their attention. Same thing with young girlswith guys who are hunks. If the earned recognition theyoung people want from people whose opinions they valuecomes with sailing attached to it, so much the better <strong>for</strong>youth sailing.”And then, to Doobie, “Doobie, we’ll have a couple ofmore beers down here. They’ll be on his tab,” he said, noddinghis head my way.I was still scribbling down notes <strong>for</strong> this story, so I <strong>for</strong>gotto object. Sometimes, dedicated journalists miss a fewthings because they usually think of the story first. It comeswith the territory.Well Protected BasinTransient DockTransient Daily: $1.50/ftTransient Weekly: $5.25/ft(727) 893-1071www.ci.gulfport.fl.us4630 29th Ave. S.Harbormaster: Denis Frain, CMM 250 Wet Slips 100 Dry Slips Marina Web Cam Floating Transient Dock Launching Ramp Monthly & Daily Rentals Marine Supplies Free Internet Access Free Public Pump-out Floating Fuel DockGas & Diesel Fishing Tackle Charter Boat Center Ice, Beer, Snacks Live & Frozen Bait Prop Recondition Monitoring VHF CH 16 FMPEDERSEN CANVAS• Made by us <strong>for</strong>over 30 years• No-sweat cotton duck fabric• Brass grommets/Nylonrope/Stainless “D” rings• Easy storage in5" x 36" Mullet Wrap...JUST $89Mullet HammockPensacola, FL850-324-6509 • pedersencanvas@cox.net<strong>News</strong> & <strong>Views</strong> <strong>for</strong> <strong>Southern</strong> <strong>Sailors</strong> SOUTHWINDS May 2012 13
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