The Issues and Assets of African Youth on Staten Island's North Shore:

<strong>Youth</strong> <strong>and</strong> parents may perceive “talking” to one anotherdifferently, as <strong>African</strong> parents are used to a culture in whichyouth are expected to maintain complete deference to adults<strong>and</strong> not expected to share their feelings. Meanwhile youthlearn quickly that American culture values sharing <strong>and</strong> twoway discussions between parents <strong>and</strong> may desire thatrelationship with their own parents.Parents work long hours with little time to spend with childrenor get involved in their schooling <strong>and</strong> extracurricularactivities, compounding communication problems. NorthShore <strong>African</strong> parents <strong>of</strong>ten support both their family in theUnited States <strong>and</strong> family <strong>and</strong> friends back home. To meetthese dem<strong>and</strong>s many parents work one or more low-wagejobs with long or irregular hours. Many cannot access betterpayingjobs with more regular schedules for one <strong>of</strong> thefollowing reasons: <strong>The</strong>y did not receive extensive formal schooling intheir home country <strong>and</strong> cannot access jobs thatrequire high school or higher credentials <strong>The</strong>y are highly educated but their credentials werelost during the war, on the refugee camp, orotherwise before coming to the United States <strong>The</strong>y are highly educated <strong>and</strong> worked in highlyskilled pr<strong>of</strong>essions (such as doctors, lawyers,teachers, etc) at home but their credentials are notaccepted by American systems (Whether or not they came to the United Stateslegally) their current immigration status does notallow them to work formallyMany parents do not have the time or money to do whatwould be necessary to work in a satisfying job, with a goodsalary <strong>and</strong> comfortable schedule – such as taking tests,requesting long-lost documents, or going back to, or in somecases repeating years <strong>of</strong>, school. Gaining immediate incomeis a priority. Beyond that, many do not have the energy to dowhat it would take, such as redoing years <strong>of</strong> highereducation, to regain their pr<strong>of</strong>essional status.When parents work long hours, to meet their immediate <strong>and</strong>extended family‟s needs, they have little time to spend withchildren. Many organizations <strong>and</strong> parents complained thatchildren are left unsupervised much <strong>of</strong> the time. Some youthare unable to engage in positive activities, or frequently missactivities because they have to care for younger siblings.Many youth resented their parents for not spending time withthem. Some youth said that their parents try to buy themthings to make them happy instead <strong>of</strong> spending time withthem or supporting them to participate in activities they like.Parents <strong>and</strong> social service providers alike cite discipliningchildren as a major problem. Many parents feel helplessagainst the American legal <strong>and</strong> child protection systems thatoutlaw corporal punishment, which is the norm in many<strong>African</strong> cultures. <strong>The</strong>ir children learn in school <strong>and</strong>/or thecommunity that it is illegal, <strong>and</strong> that they can call 911 toreport incidents. However, parents are not educated aboutmethods <strong>of</strong> discipline accepted in the United States. Somechildren do call 911 (in some cases perhaps notunderst<strong>and</strong>ing the full implications <strong>of</strong> doing so), <strong>and</strong> storiescirculate in the community about parents being sent to jail<strong>and</strong> having their children taken away.Without traditional means <strong>of</strong> discipline, parents do not knowwhat to do. Many expressed that they had tried to disciplinetheir children, but the ways they knew failed, <strong>and</strong> thereseems to be no one who can help. Parents expressed thatthey feel undermined, defeated, <strong>and</strong> angry at schools orother American care-taking institutions for not discipliningtheir children when they are under their supervision – feelingthat it makes their job even more difficult. A few parentsresort to (<strong>and</strong> many more contemplate) sending theirchildren back home to live with relatives. Many give up ondiscipline altogether or in large part:15