DIRTY PANTIES ...and other thrilling tales of my sex ... - Lannie Rose

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28 - Dirty Panties ...and other thrilling tales of my sex change“It had better be $3.50,” he replied. Sometimes my charmdoes not work so well.I found out the dancing would be over at ten, not midnight asI had read in the paper. I excused myself and left the bar so Icould dance a little more before the music shut down. I washaving a great time.I spotted a break-dancing circle up front near the main stage.I wiggled my way into its periphery. I had never witnessed abreak-dancing exhibition before; I found it quite entertaining.Guys took turns jumping into the middle of the circle to show offtheir moves such as headstands and back spins. Some of the kidswere very good. Although the dancers were predominantly male,a couple of gals participated too. I was seriously consideringtaking a turn myself — nothing fancy, just reprersentin’ thetrannies, you know — but then the music stopped and the partywas over.I headed back to my car, when what do you know, there wasOriginal Joe’s yet again! In I went for a final nightcap. Fortified,and with the pearl onions constituting dinner, I headed home.But no, I couldn’t leave well enough alone. The night was stillyoung, so I popped in to see what was happening at a nearby gaybar I knew. I couldn’t dance because a drag show was in progress.I did have another drink, but nobody was particularly sociable. Itwas half past eleven when I headed home again.At that point I was too drunk to drive! But foolishly, I did. AsI was driving along highway 280, I noticed I had missed my turnoffonto 880. I got off at the next exit, intending to turn aroundand get back on the freeway heading the other way. Somewhereon those unfamiliar streets, I encountered a fork in the road. Icould not decide which tine to take, so I drove over the island inthe middle instead. Unfortunately, there was a pole on the islandwith a “Yield” sign. I did not yield.BLAM! BLAM! I bumped over the curb. CRASH! SLAM! Idrove right through the sign. My car knocked the pole clear outof the ground and it sailed over Phoebe, crashing down on her
Section 1 - Lannie’s Adventures - 29rear end. The pole took out Phoebe’s rear window and smashedher trunk. God help me!God did look out for me. I did not get injured. I did not getarrested (the drunk tank is not a good place for a guy in a dress!).Poor Phoebe was still drivable, although just barely. I neverstopped. I drove directly home and thanked God many times. Icalled some of my dearest friends and blubbered to them atlength.Poor Phoebe was totaled. It didn’t take that much to total her,actually, because she had 110,000 miles on her. I had beenthinking of putting her out to pasture anyway, so that decisionbecame easy.I went out the next day and got a new set of wheels, a black‘97 Mustang GT with a 4.6-liter, V-8 engine, five-speed manualtrannie (pun intended), and only 45,000 miles on the odometer. Idon’t know if I got the best possible deal, because I wasn’t exactlynegotiating from a position of strength, shopping en femme in amushed Buick!All’s well that end’s well, but I can assure you I took thisexperience as a serious wake-up call. And now you know just whyit is that Lannie Rose quit drinking.
Page 5: AcknowledgementsA big thank you to
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Page 13 and 14: IntroductionDo you know about the g
Page 15: Section 1Lannie’s AdventuresWhat
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Page 67 and 68: Section 2 - About Gender - 55Song:
Page 69 and 70: Wavy Gravy, Transsexual RoleModelWa
Page 71 and 72: Section 2 - About Gender - 59spendi
Page 73 and 74: What Is a Woman?What are little gir
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LGBT PrideI just returned from the
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Section 2 - About Gender - 93queer,
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Section 2 - About Gender - 95behind
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Section 2 - About Gender - 97them t
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Lannie Gets Her Ears PiercedI got m
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Section 3 - Transition - 105“Don
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Transsexual Panic Attack“If I too
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Section 3 - Transition - 109Saturda
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Section 3 - Transition - 111things
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Spring Cleaning(Lannie purges her b
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Section 3 - Transition - 125of my g
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Section 3 - Transition - 127The fin
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How I Changed My BodyIf you had met
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Section 3 - Transition - 137now wal
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Section 3 - Transition - 139which I
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Section 3 - Transition - 141The nos
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Advantages ofTransitioning Later in
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Section 3 - Transition - 145changes
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Section 3 - Transition - 151Song: I
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Three for My Dad(A story, a poem, a
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Section 4 - Family - 171cannot deal
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Section 4 - Family - 173But not now
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Section 5Sex ReassignmentSurgeryYes
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A Chick with a DickI want to get ri
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Section 5 - Sex Reassignment Surger
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BallsMy mother persists in referrin
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Thoughts on the Eve of SexReassignm
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Section 6DatingDating is excruciati
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E-mailOh, yes, I do get e-mail from
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Section 6 - Dating - 225> readmail
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Section 6 - Dating - 231From: robbi
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Saying “Yes!”I’m not a gal wh
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Section 6 - Dating - 249Mistress!
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Section 6 - Dating - 251early on an
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How I Popped My CherryThere I was,
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Section 6 - Dating - 261I ate some
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Section 6 - Dating - 263In short, t
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Section 6 - Dating - 265Steve and I
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Section 6 - Dating - 267might look
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Section 6 - Dating - 269player in e
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Section 6 - Dating - 271Somehow the
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Section 7Post-transsexual LifeLife
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Dancing QueenDisco lives! At least
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Section 7 - Post-transsexual Life -
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SurvivorI was concentrating on my f
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Day of RemembranceNovember 20 every
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The Post-Op I Never Wanted to BeI n
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ReunionIt is now three years since
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“J”What if Jesus had gone to a
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Poem: Love Is Like the WindLove is
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Ms. Rose Interviews LannieOprah has
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Epilogue - 355to merge in with the
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Epilogue - 357Lannie:Thank you for
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Epilogue - 365Poem: Do Not Recite Y
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Visit Lannie’s CafePress Shops!La
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DIRTY PANTIES ...and other thrilling tales of my sex ... - Lannie Rose

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