Smile Aerobics - PedagoNet

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11BaptismThree little boys were concerned because they couldn’t get anyone to play with them.They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn’t go to Sunday School.So they went to the nearest church. Only the janitor was there.One little boy said, “We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will youbaptize us?”“Sure,” said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the toilet bowl, one at atime.Then he said, “Now go out and play.”When they got outside, dripping wet, one of them asked,”What religion do you think we are?”The oldest one said, “We’re not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you.”We’re not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water.”“We’re not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle you.”The littlest one said, “Didn’t you smell that water!”“Yeah! What do you think that means?”“I think it means we’re Pisscopalians.”17
12ProverbsA first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs.She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You… Mess It Up.Better Be Safe Than… Punch A 5th Grader.Strike While The… Bug Is Close.It’s Always Darkest Before… Daylight Savings Time.Never Under Estimate The Power Of… Termites.You Can Lead A Horse To Water But… How?Don’t Bite The Hand That… Looks Dirty.No News Is… Impossible.A Miss Is As Good As A… Mr.You Can’t Teach An Old Dog New… Math.If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You’ll… Stink In The Morning.Love All, Trust… MeThe Pen Is Mightier Than The… Pigs.An Idle Mind Is… The Best Way To Relax.Where There’s Smoke, There’s… Pollution.Happy The Bride Who… Gets All The Presents!A Penny Saved Is… Not Much.Two’s Company, Three’s… The Musketeers.Don’t Put Off Tomorrow What… You Put On To Go To Bed.18
Page 3: Smile Aerobics Copyright © 2013Thi
Page 8 and 9: If you have a face, this book is fo
Page 10 and 11: 1Teacher And BootsDid you hear abou
Page 12 and 13: 3Test Q & A From Students1. Q: Name
Page 14 and 15: 4AffectionProfessors of different s
Page 16 and 17: 5PenmanshipLetter sent by a college
Page 18 and 19: 11 Smile AerobicsTopic 7Learning Ho
Page 20 and 21: 8School Answering Machine“Hello!
Page 22: 10ChemistryLogico deductivism in Th
Page 27 and 28: 13Seminars For MenNote : All semina
Page 29 and 30: 15FelineA kindergarten pupil told h
Page 31 and 32: Videos For YouElementary School Qui
Page 33 and 34: English Language Instruction 26But
Page 35 and 36: 18Are You A Teacher?You might be a
Page 37 and 38: 19Summer School For MenNB: Due to t
Page 39 and 40: Summer School For Men 32How to be t
Page 41 and 42: Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘D
Page 43 and 44: Computers - Male or Female 36
Page 45 and 46: Thinking Outside The Box 38Q11. If
Page 47 and 48: Summer School Classes (For Women On
Page 49 and 50: 2Life
Page 51 and 52: Are You Having A Bad Day? 44The two
Page 53 and 54: 27MoralsLesson Number One:A crow wa
Page 55 and 56: 28Procrastinator's Creed1. I believ
Page 57 and 58: Golf Laws 50Topping a 3-iron is the
Page 59 and 60: 30AmphibiansTwo young frogs fell in
Page 61 and 62: 32Back PainMichel, Ron and Peter we
Page 63 and 64: 34ImpulsivenessTwo young vampire ba
Page 65 and 66: Traffic Ticket 58Well, the ADA foun
Page 67 and 68: Superstitious 60
Page 69 and 70: Dear Diary 62My legs were a little
Page 71 and 72: 38ExercisingIt is well documented t
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40RecipeChicken rather than turkey
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Farmer 68Then the Patrolman came ac
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43ResolutionsChoose your New Year
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Jesus And Satan 72
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46Senior GolfRule #1A ball sliced o
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47Country BumpkinYou Might Be From
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48ChristmasThree men died on Christ
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50LiteracyAfter numerous rounds of
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52Bull FightA big Texan cowboy stop
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Debate 84“I pulled out the wine a
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55Nurse's RevengeA big shot attorne
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57Table TalkA family is at the dinn
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59Never Touchin’ the Taser Again!
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Never Touchin’ the Taser Again! 9
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Golf Help For YouDriver ID 94
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Newfoundland Ale Indulgement 96They
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63Stevie and TigerStevie Wonder and
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64Short StoriesWomen’s Revenge“
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Short Stories 102The Silent Treatme
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Retirement Q & A 104Question: What
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God And Forrest Gump 106“How many
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Surgical Wonders 108
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The Golfer and the Leprechaun 110An
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70Never Question A DrunkI was shopp
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Age Activated Attention Deficit Dis
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73PhotographyThe Smiths were unable
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74Are You Too Old For Halloween?You
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76Job ApplicationPOSITION:Mom, Momm
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Job Application 122
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78Tips for Handling Telemarketers1)
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80Bull or BrillianceA wealthy old l
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81Summer JobA blonde teenager, want
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83Health Question & Answer SessionI
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84Jokes To Offend EveryoneWhat do y
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Jokes To Offend Everyone 134How do
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86Jack The NewfieEvery Friday night
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88AmishAn Amish farmer walking thro
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90Italian MafiaAn old Italian Mafia
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92SistersTwo sisters, one blonde an
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94Men Are Just Happier PeopleNICKNA
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95Genealogy Of JesusThere were 3 go
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96ColdsA man and a woman were sitti
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98The Farmer And The DonkeyOne day
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99Lawyer CompassionOne afternoon a
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101Two CowsDEMOCRATIC:You have two
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Two Cows 156You like to watch cows
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103Dating For SeniorsActual ads see
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105The Miracle Of Toilet PaperFresh
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107Scotsman Moves To CanadaA Scotsm
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109How-To BooksA husband had just f
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Canadian Jokes 166Sure it’s easy,
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111Who Is Norma?A sweet grandmother
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Because I'm A Man 170
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114E-mooningA new phenomenon called
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116Longest Nerve In The BodyDid you
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118Grandpa, What Is Sex?An 8-year-o
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120Lunch With The GirlsA group of 1
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Nasty Divorce 180He listened polite
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His Name Was Bubba 182
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124Medical ConferenceA Doctor was a
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126SalesmanA little old lady answer
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128RomanceA wife, being the romanti
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129TerminologyPolitically Correct T
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130Hillbilly Medical TermsBenign…
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131DecisionsOnce upon a time, there
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133Punderful1. A bicycle can’t st
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134FriarsThe friars were behind on
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Linguistics 200
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Food For Thought 202Why isn’t pho
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138PunderfullyDid you hear about th
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140Bumper StickersCover me. I’m c
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141PaintingsA guy in Paris nearly g
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Advertisement 210
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144Prescriptions For WomenDAMNITOLT
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145More Chinese ProverbsMan who run
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147RedefiningHere is the Washington
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Redefining 218willy-nilly, adj. imp
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149MatrimonySu Wong marries Lee Won
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Bad Day At Hallmark 222Happy birthd
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Creative Puns For Educated Minds 22
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153The New Dictionary of Definition
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154My Inconclusive Travel PlansI ha
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20 Clever Words For Clever People 2
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About PedagoNetOnline since 1996, P
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