Something's weird on Gilead Road - Carolina Weekly Newspapers

Mike’s Growers Outlet30%discOuNtON ALL iN-stOcktREEs &shRubs!!Prime Time for Planting!Conveniently loCated at Hwy. 16 - 2 miles soutH of Hwy. 16 & Hwy. 73 interseCtionHours: Mon-sat 9aM - 5pM, sun 12 - 4 pM • 704-827-5980www.mikesgrowersoutlet.comPage 22 • The Herald Weekly • Jan. 15-21, 2010 OpinionThe last laughThrough the years, lots of my bestfriends have been funeral directors. Thisis understandable since I’ve been theminister of some very large congregationsand have conducted hundreds andhundreds of funerals. I’ve spent a greatdeal of time with funeral directors. Thishas enabled me to discover somethinggenerally unknown to the ordinary citizen.Funeral directors tend to have finesenses of humor. Now, they all maintaina proper sense of dignity and decorumout of a respect forsouthern friedpreacherharoldbalestheir vocation. Butget them off thejob and they canbe a lot of fun.I was remindedof this while talkingwith WhitWhitley over inKannapolis. Whitruns an exceptionallyfine funeralhome, and in hisfree time he is astand-up comedian,actor and singer. He’s dead seriousabout his comedy. He doesn’t useoff-color material in his act – just funnystuff.Whit is naturally humorous. Funnyjust seems to happen to him. He usedto be a member at Trinity MethodistChurch in Kannapolis. One Sunday hearrived at church and noticed that folkwere reacting a bit oddly when they sawhim. They seemed amused at his presence.So he remarked about it to anusher. The usher asked, “Have you notread the church bulletin yet this morning?”So he grabbed a bulletin and began toread. Finally, he came to his own namein the bulletin, slightly mangled. Thechurch secretary had made a typographicalerror – twice. Instead of hitting the“W” key for Whit Whitley, she hit thenearby “S” key. Whit still loves to laughabout it. Of course, he has now becomea Lutheran, and I’m not sure what becameof that former church secretary.One of my best pals was the late JimWhittington of Charlotte. He was agreat civic leader, one of the pioneersIt’s tIme toof Little League Baseball and a fine funeralhome director. Whenever I sawhim, he would check my pulse and tellme how “natural” I looked. Folk used toassess the quality of a funeral directoron how “natural” the deceased appearedwhile in repose. When I dropped notesto Jim, I always signed them: “Eventuallyyours.”I once had a parishioner who hadlived to a great age and was near death.She assured me she was ready to go.She said, “I’m ready to meet God. AndI look forward to meeting my husbandagain in heaven.”Well, I knew she had been marriedat least three times. So I asked with asmile, “Which one?”Her eyes twinkled as she replied, “All5 of them!”Then she told me that old ditty: “Awoman married a banker, and he died.Then she married an actor, and he died.Then she married a minister, and hedied. Finally, she married an undertaker,and he died. One for the money, twofor the show, three to get ready and fourto go!”Making plans for one’s own funeral isan important gift to one’s family. It takeslots of pressure off them when that timecomes. My friend Betty Simpson inSalisbury told me she wants “Open MyEyes That I May See” sung at her funeral.I love her whimsy.Funeral directors have my great admiration.I watch them do their work withcompassion and skill to bring consolationto grieving families, and I am gratefulfor them. I have come to regard themas true ministers of compassion. I canunderstand why they tend to keep theirsenses of humor somewhat out of sight.But I am able to take another approachto death. I often say, that we people offaith are the only people in the worldwho can laugh in the face of death itself.We are the ones who get the lastlaugh and the last hoorah. Hallelujah!So I say to Whit Whitley: More laughsto you, friend! Knock us out with yourhumor! It’s the spiritual thing to do. qReach Harold Bales through his Web site,www.southern-fried-preacher.com.Party on!Balloons • Pinatas • Name Brand GiftsBirthday • Baby • Wedding • AnniversaryValentines party favors, decorations and balloonsNew Disney Princess and Hallmark patterns.In the Shops at Fresh Market20601 Torrence Chapel Rd • Cornelius • 704-987-2118Second Location in denVeR @ 3618 n. Hwy. 16at Exit28www.huntersvilleherald.com