paws-chicago-magazine-2011-winter

nearing the endCoping With the Emotions of theFinal Stages of Your Pet’s Lifeby David RemkusIn the United States today, roughly two out of threehouseholds are shared by companion animals. As moreand more families are including pets, it is rapidly becomingevident that modern American culture has created a specialrole for non-human animals within the family structure.Unfortunately, when people are faced with the deathof a non-human part of their family, the same support,understanding, and resources that are readily available whena human family member passes on may not even appear toexist. This can lead to a very confusing and traumatic timefor members of these families who are oftentimes tryingto silently and privately cope with the profound sense ofloss they feel – which, for the record, can be unexpectedlyoverwhelming.Because of this perceived silence on the issue and lackof readily available resources, some unfortunate familymembers are left feeling as though they are somehowcrazy or outcasts. This ultimately leads to feelings of isolationthat many in my profession regularly encounterwhile assisting families in the mourning of their pets.The aim of this article is to educate and provide resourcesfor families so that they are knowledgeable and are awareof reliable places that they can turn to for professional,caring, and helpful end of life and memorial resourceswhen they are preparing for or have experienced the lossof a pet.Always remember, the loss of a pet is a significantloss, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Many times, becausethere is a fear of judgment of what others would think,people tend to minimize their grief. All too often, wehear phrases such as, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or “Itwas just a dog (or cat).” These phrases are harmful tothe griever because they suppress very real feelings, forcingthese same emotions out in other ways. If you feelit, let it be felt, and have faith in your hardwired abilityto grieve. The greatest thing grievers can do is to respectand recognize these difficult emotions as they come andallow themselves room to explore and ultimately expressthese feelings in a healthy way.Normally, families are aware that they will be facedwith some rather difficult decisions as their pet agesand their physical health begins to deteriorate. Thefinal stages of a pet’s life are generally the most difficulttime physically for the pet, which leads to it being themost emotionally exhausting and difficult time for theirhuman counterparts.36