Österreichische Botschaft Pretoria - Austrian Club - Cape Town

HUMOR !! && @@ %% >Tiger Woods On a golf tour in Ireland, drives his Mercedes into apetrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.The pump attendant who knows absolutely nothing about golf,greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who thegolfing pro is.-----"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. Ashe does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground."What are those?" asks the attendant."They're called tees" replies Tiger."Well, what on this god's earth are they for?" inquiries the Irishman"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving". says Tiger."Fooking Jungle Oats", says the Irishman, "Mercedes thinks ofeverything!"A BLONDE had her car repaired.Mechanic: There your car is fixed.Blonde: Thanks, so what's the story?Mechanic: Just crap in the Fuel Injection system.Blonde: How often do I have to do that?Eine andere Blondine bekommt Zwillinge und weint ununterbrochen.Die Hebamme fragt sie , warum sie weine.Sie antwortete: "Ich weiss nicht, von wem das zweite ist!"Frau Huber hat Drillinge bekommen. Der 7 jährige Bruder wird gefragt wie sieheissen: "So wie ich Papi verstanden habe:--- Himmel Arsch und Zwirn."Ein Wiener in einem Berliner Mc Donald: "I hätte gern ein Hendl!"Der Angestellte: "Sie meinen Chicken?"Der Wiener: "Nein nicht schicken, ich esse es gleich hier."I got a flyer in my post box, informing me that I can have sex at 73! ...Really?...I'm quiet happy, because I live at Nr.67 so it is not far to walk home afterwards.She's not bad looking but she could lose a few Kilos. ...Just keep drinking and shewill.