english journal 8 (1/08) the gunnery washington, connecticut

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entire civilization it there. We wrote books on the bark of trees that served as giganticschoolhouses. We had a pact with the termites and the woodpeckers which allowed us to carveour homes, schools, and other buildings into the trees (with their assistance). We thenproceeded to create a paradise for insects and birds and other wildlife that needed shelter. Wemanaged to make the forest so phobia-inspiring that the first Umuofian who visited it insistedthat demons must live there. We would then emerge from the forest and eat yams, then goback to the forest, into which no Umuofian would dare to chase us. After the Umuofians madea pact with the incoming Europeans, the Evil forest was no longer safe. They erected a buildingin the centre of our forest, demolishing several of our trees and eventually tearing down amajority of our civilization’s infrastructure. Book burnings were common in Locust Forest afterthe coming of the white man. These Europeans didn’t just cut up and burn our literature tokeep us intellectually suppressed, but called it chopping firewood! They then cooked theinhabitants of our forest using fire from our books! We were so enraged that we decided tolaunch a counterattack! Actually, it was a series of counterattacks, but nevertheless, they wereall effective.First, the termites went to the armory and outfitted themselves with their Jaw AmplifyingWood Shredders (JAWS) and Collateral Hole Opening Multi-Plier (CHOMP) with which theycould quickly penetrate wood by physically manipulating the shape and structure of the surfaceof a wooden structure. The way the device worked is that it took the power of a termite’s jawand amplified it in a way similar to what humans do when they use pliers or pincers tomanipulate wood, wires, (in some cases other people), and other substances which they wishto bend or snap in half. The crude human mind cannot possibly comprehend this immaculatetechnological advancement. They simply say, “The termites are eating the wood! Fetch thepesticide!!!” Fortunately for us, these Europeans hadn’t discovered that deadly insect genocidedevice yet.The woodpeckers also joined in the assault against the newly made fortress of intruders.Woodpeckers are natural anti-wood weapons. Their long, sharp, drill-like beaks are pneumaticdrills powered by a mixture of glycogen and adipose for fuel, and oxygen for a combustiveproduct. This delivers the same type of force to wood as the larger-scale industrial device thathumans use: the jackhammer.We locusts simply flew in as a distraction, creating a thick blanket of insects which coveredthe optic lenses of the humans below, who scrambled for extra pieces of our dissectedinfrastructure which they hurriedly began to rub together. Meanwhile, an army corps of 130million termites penetrated the base of the building. Rank upon rank of the creatures filed intothe foundation of the building and continued to work around it, tearing the wooden pillarsupports with matchless ease and merciless ferocity. Meanwhile, forty or fifty woodpeckersarrayed themselves upon the farther end of the human shelter/structure and began using theirbeaks against anything they could find: walls, windows, the bald white heads of long-robedhumans who came to investigate the repeated clack!ing which at that point was coming fromthe inside and outside of the facility.The white invaders quickly counterattacked. They managed to use friction to cause ourbooks which they dissected to burst into open flame, which they then employed to drive uslocusts back into the distance. They grabbed long, black, brown, or gray tubes with a triangularend which they mounted on their shoulders. Using these devices, they used the explosiveEnglish Journal 8 (January 2008) 17
powers of saltpeter to fire round rock-sized lead spheres at the woodpeckers, criticallywounding some, and fatally wounding others. One good friend of mine was hit with a spherewhich tore off his beak. The pain then rendered him unconscious, leaving him to the mercy ofthe humans who we locusts knew would probably eat him. The termites, however, managed tocause enough damage with their hordes of armor-jawed warriors and engineers to cause thefoundation of the humans’ dead tree construct to crumble. In our flight from the fury of theinvaders of our forest, we heard cracks and crumblings as their wooden agglomeration of locustcultural dead wood fell to the ground. This marked the start of a long, bitter struggle againstEuropeans. It is ironic, isn’t it? We insects, considered one of the lowliest (yet humblest)creatures on the face of our good earth managed to resist the European invaders, yet the entirevillage of Umuofia did nothing. The only exception was my good old friend Okonkwo, who Ishall describe to you shortly.Joseph LöbbEnglish Journal 8 (January 2008) 18
Page 1 and 2: english journal 8 (1/08)the gunnery
Page 3 and 4: Nathan Moy, Polyphemus’s Distress
Page 5 and 6: I’ve tried day in and day out to
Page 7 and 8: The murderer was...The murderer was
Page 9 and 10: Clouds are dark…Clouds are dark a
Page 11 and 12: Subway race trackUgh…it’s been
Page 13 and 14: DC savvyColor my TV screen becauseI
Page 15 and 16: SubwayI am aloneIn the subwayNo one
Page 17 and 18: My FutureFast paced and action pack
Page 19: WARNING: This theme is written from
Page 23 and 24: esponsibilities or expectations. Th
Page 25 and 26: said water onto yourself and wash w
Page 27 and 28: covered in fresh fish and eels, fre
Page 29 and 30: All the magic of the star gives the
Page 31: Just Do ItFlying down the iceTwo mi
Page 34 and 35: You sneaky little humans clung on m
Page 36 and 37: “I’ve always loved…”I’ve
Page 38 and 39: If I could think of you waiting, st
Page 40 and 41: Just A Poet.It’s not enough to fi
Page 42 and 43: WednesdaySitting in my window I sta
Page 44 and 45: Sitting in the librarySitting in th
Page 46 and 47: Epic Haiku SeriesGet up too earlyHa
Page 48 and 49: Out of box thinkingKeeps me from fa
Page 50 and 51: Applying to schoolJust does not see
Page 52 and 53: RishikeshWe piled onto a creaky old
Page 54 and 55: into the jungle behind us. After an
Page 56 and 57: ConformityA man with his lunch pail
Page 58 and 59: What is RealThe man with silver hai
Page 60 and 61: The One That Got AwayThe woman sitt
Page 62 and 63: The sorcerer looked at the man and
Page 64 and 65: As the sorcerer reached the back of
Page 66 and 67: “I’m called the Mage Knight. Th
Page 68 and 69: like a kid on cross countryshe keep
Page 70 and 71:
The Collected Frustrations of the A
Page 72 and 73:
Will You Marry Me?By MARY DOOLINPeo
Page 74 and 75:
English Journal 8 (January 2008) 71
Page 76 and 77:
The boy stayed at the doctor’s pl
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