Download PDF - Adventist Review

working sites. “It is possible that the
damage caused by cyberbullying may be
greater than the harm caused by traditional
bullying. Online communication
can be extremely vicious” and allows for
others to pile on their comments, without
having to face the victim. “Once it is
distributed worldwide, it is often irretrievable.”
3 Furthermore, cyberbullying
diminishes the child’s ability to escape
the harassment. The message the child
receives is: “there are no safe places.”
Children who do not know how to
cope with the bullying may develop
mental health problems such as depression
or anxiety, which can affect the
child’s ability to do well in school. In
Caleb’s case, he withdrew from his favorite
school activities, and his grades began
to drop. Since his grades were dropping,
a meeting between school officials and
Caleb’s parents was the best first step to
help end the bullying behavior. Caleb’s
parents also chose to send him to a week
of blind camp with National Camps for
Blind Children to help restore Caleb’s
self-esteem and confidence.
Since 1967 National Camps for Blind
Children (NCBC) has offered free-ofcharge
esteem-building summer and
winter camp weeks for children and
adults who are visually impaired. NCBC,
a program of Christian Record Services
for the Blind (CRSB), gives campers
access to outdoor physical activities,
spiritual enrichment through worship
with Adventist pastors, and the camaraderie
of friends and staff members.
At camp Caleb was able to participate
in activities such as waterskiing and
horseback riding with others who were
visually impaired. During campfire time
he was able to sing and talk with other
kids who understood the challenges he
faced at school. His new friends provided
Caleb with the emotional foundation
he needed, and the camp
counselors were there to help him when
he became discouraged.
Proactive Measures
for Parents
There are many things we as parents
can do to help our children learn to cope
and hopefully avoid bullying. One proac-
tive measure is to make yourself known to
your child’s school. By learning how the
school implements their policies, what the
current practices are, and whether those
practices are known to work, will help parents
know how to address the school
administration if necessary.
In her blog “Bullying: A Parent’s Perspective,”
Mary McDonach states that
initiating a positive relationship with
school administrators increases the
likelihood that problems of bullying
will be dealt with immediately. Also, by
being proactive as parents, the child’s
school is held accountable for following
through immediately.
Teaching a child to have good selfesteem
is always important, and it’s also
one of the best ways to help combat bullying.
Children need to feel valued and
important when they are part of a group.
Additionally, participating in fun activities
helps the child develop a sense of
confidence that will combat any negative
interactions they might have at school.
Finally, teaching the child not to react to
the bully is another proactive step parents
and teachers can take. Bullies look for a
reaction from their victims; therefore,
teaching the child not to give a reaction
makes the child a less-interesting target.
Even the best proactive measures,
however, may not prevent bullying.
Some kids will continue to be bullies
regardless of how a child acts. Therefore,
it’s important that we parents be
aware of signs that would indicate our
child is being bullied. They include:
• becoming withdrawn
• fear of going to school
• increasing signs of depression
(lethargy, loss of appetite or interest in
normal activities)
• a noticeable decline in school performance
(grades or class participation)
• speaking of another child in fear
• noticeable decline in the child’s
self-esteem or self-image
• indications of physical violence,
such as bruises, scrapes, or other marks
Immediate Action Needed
If there is any suspicion that a child is
being bullied, immediate action is best.
There is nothing wrong with confronting
our children if we suspect something
is wrong. Children may be
embarrassed to talk to adults because
they feel they should be able to handle a
bullying situation. They may think
there’s nothing that can be done to stop
someone from harassing them.
By approaching the child first, we can
remove some of the emotional stress for
the child and also show our kids we
notice when things aren’t right in their
world. After talking with the child, parents
should then arrange to meet with
the school’s administration to develop
an action plan. Action plans can include
mediation between the students and
increased attention paid to the situation
while the child is on school grounds. If
age-appropriate, it may also help to
involve our children in these meetings.
By being present during the meeting,
the child will see that their problem is
being taken seriously. It will also show
the child that their parents are interested
in finding a solution and that the
child’s input matters.
Children can also be taught how to be
assertive with bullies. Assertive does not
mean aggressive. Assertive means that the
child stands their ground and forcefully
informs the bully to leave them alone. This
may not come naturally to everyone, so
practicing forceful statements such as
“Please leave me alone” or “Please do not
move my stuff” in a loud enough manner
to get the teacher’s attention is helpful.
The child should also be encouraged to
seek the help of the teacher, if avoiding the
bullies is not an option, and to report each
incidence of bullying when it happens. n
1
National Bullying Prevention Center, 2012, Bullying
and Harassment of Students With Disabilities, www.pacer.
org/bullying/resources/students-with-disabilities/.
2
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
“Bullying,” March 2011, www.aacap.org/cs/
root/facts_for_families/bullying.
3
Susan M. Taylor, “Cyber Bullying Penetrates the
Walls of the Traditional Classroom,” Journal of Adventist
Education, December 2010-January 2011, pp. 37-41.
ASHELEY WOODRUFF IS A
LICENSED COUNSELOR, MOM, AND
WIFE WHO LIVES IN NAMPA, IDAHO.
SHE SPLITS HER TIME BETWEEN HER
COUNSELING PRACTICE IN BOISE AND
TEACHING PSYCHOLOGY FOR THE COLLEGE OF
WESTERN IDAHO.
28 (588) | www.AdventistReview.org | June 27, 2013