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the Burgomaster of that place visiting the Princess in her Room, she
bare-headed with her hat on the table, would not put on his own first,
but insisted so repeatedly that she ‘cover yourself, Madam’, that she
was obliged to take up her hat. We were fortunate enough to find
ourselves in Haarlem at the time of the Kermesse carnival which gave
us the opportunity to send a large package of presents to The Hague:
which arrived opportunely the following day, when Baron Cromwell
was entertaining the English Ambassador, and all those of rank from
that country at the Court of Holland, so that there was something
for everyone: especially Monsieur St Leger; who being interested in
pictures received one sent by the Queen: whose subject was a woman
angry with her child, beating him so furiously with her hands on his
buttocks that his ‘juice’ [sauce] flowed copiously, all represented in so
lively a fashion that the judgement of the spectators was not adequate
to know the author: if Monsieur St Leger (who has a better nose than
others in similar matters) had not recognised that it was by the hand
of Mabuse. 6 /
The 27th we arrived at Alkmaar, where we found all the tailors
of the town occupied in sewing a bed for the Princess, which had a
complete curtain round it, the one on the far side and the one at the
end cut in the middle so as not in any way to conceal the fine wood of
the bed: which they made much of. There we ate our fill of large and
delicious peaches: and as we left there the Burgomaster saluted the
Princess with a big fat kiss, full on the mouth./
Passing through Petten we ate so many mussels, drinking vinegar
in place of wine, that the Countess of Löwenstein was taken with a
terrible colic: but as every illness has its remedy, so farting [petter]
cured the Petten illness: between which place and Enkhuisen we
went through Medemblik, which town being situated at the extreme
end of the country, young master William, who met with us there
accidentally, having just undertaken a new commission, jumped
suddenly out of the Queen’s carriage, and throwing himself headlong
on the ground to show his humility, kissed the backside of North
Holland./
A big fat peasant who acted that day as our guide, taught the
company a new refinement by blowing his nose between his fingers,
which he wiped by and by on his beard: and having been invited to eat
with us as a reward for his good manners, he did not refuse to sit at the
top end of the table, nor to be the first to put the hand he had wiped on
6 Pseudonym of painter Jan Gossaert (1478–1532).
114 TEMPTATION IN THE ARCHIVES