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his beard into every fine dish; most especially into a benefice pie [pasté
de benefices] which we thought was reserved for ourselves./
The 28th we arrived at Enkhuisen at 12 o’clock at night, very
tired and vexed from the length of the dikes, which around there they
seem to measure in German miles rather of English ones. We were
immediately visited by the Consistory and invited to dine with him the
following day which was Sunday: but we made our apologies, the said
dykes being out of favour with us, as also were steeples after we had
climbed the one in Haarlem: which was responsible for our being afraid
to go near Churches for the whole of that excursion./
The Cabinet of Doctor Paludanus is the greatest curiosity in
Enkhuisen: where among other things worthy of admiration we saw a
certain large, thick and stiff instrument: concerning which the Countess
of Löwenstein, who understood more than the rest of us about the
secrets of nature, desiring to be informed about it asked the Doctor this
amiable question: Monsieur Doctor, if you please, What is this Engine.
‘Questo è’ (replied the Doctor, who was entertaining us in Italian), ‘il
valente cazzo d’vn Elephante’ [This is the lusty penis of an Elephant]. I do
not understand Italian, replied the Countess. ‘Hoc est membrum genitale
Elephantis’ [This is the genital member of an Elephant], said the Doctor.
Why, say in good French what it is, replied the Countess. The Doctor,
finding himself thus hard-pressed, said, ‘This is an Elephant’s prick to
do you service’./
The 29th we reached Hoorn: where the Burgomaster, who was
a widower, asked the Queen to give him a wife from among our
number; and being allowed to choose he chose the said Countess, but
entertained all of us with extravagant compliments: as you may judge
from the one he used when greeting the Queen on the morning of our
departure, accosting her thus: ‘Madam, you have laboured long and
hard to get yourself up this morning’./
The 30th we arrived at Edam. It is not the most sizeable town
in Holland; but there we met with sizeable and varied accidents. The
Burgomaster met us outside the town, and strongly insisted to the King,
the Queen and the Princess that they get down from their carriage,
and make their solemn entrance on foot, having to this purpose strewn
the road with rushes and rose leaves [petals?]. There he presented
before us a marvellously tall young girl 9 years old, as tall as Monsieur
Grey, whom she was measured against: and if she continues to grow
as she has done so far she will one day be able to be measured against
Paludanus’s Elephant. When we were at table, instead of music a small
child was brought close to the Queen who cried constantly like a cat,
Appendix I 115