Final 3 I Hear Final Format, Basker, ToC, Index

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I HEAR YOU’RE AFRAID OF DYING OR AFRAID SOMEONE YOU LOVE WILL DIE BEFORE YOU I <strong>Hear</strong> You’re Contemplating Divorce, www.smashwords.com/books/view/347330 From trusted friends and professional counselors, I was given two primary suggestions that proved extremely helpful. The first was to write several therapeutic letters. The highest level of therapeutic writing, doodling or drawing is beneficial in many ways. And the best part is nobody ever sees it or even knows about it. The first letter would be to the person you’re divorcing. Therapeutic expressions are like volcanoes going off, like regurgitating food that has made us ill, with screaming, lashing out, and feeling sorry for ourselves. It is "all out" with no holds barred. The second letter is from your Greater Self to your other self. This is identical in intensity to the first letter with one caveat. At some point, as an exercise, you declare the other person to be 100% innocent of this split. You take 100% blame for every dysfunction. To be sure this is not accurate because it takes two to tango, but I found this exercise to be extremely useful and healing. The other thing I found so helpful was advice a woman gave me. She said, "George, now that you are going through the worst time of your life, this is the perfect time to give yourself a gift.” 46
REV. GEORGE MCLAIRD At the time I was feeling so badly it took me a week or more to think of what I was going to do for myself. What I did was have a potter make a small obelisk with the image of a dove on one side and this New Testament Scripture on the other. <strong>Final</strong>ly, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 I don't know what the gift would be for you, but spend some time thinking about it and give yourself that gift. What wonderful gift are you going to give your self today or very soon? Many years ago I wrote a Divorcing Ceremony. Only three individuals ever requested this ceremony. They were two women and one man. The partners refused to participate. Here are the opening paragraphs. "We gather to witness and acknowledge the completion of a relationship. By our presence we express our mutual love, affection, and support for both (Name) and (Name). “We gather to aid ourselves and one another in setting aside judgment, to use this occasion for healing, and to be with (Name) and (Name) as they complete 47
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