Wreck This Eating Disorder

Wreck This
Eating
Disorder
Created by Thomas Oakley

Wreck This Eating Disorder
(First Edition)
Thomas Oakley (2016). All Rights Reserved.
Contact: toakley@outlook.com
This book is intended as a self-help journal for
teenagers with eating disorders and
incorporates elements of mindfulness, cognitive
behavioural therapy and other general activities
designed to promote a healthy lifestyle.
1

With thanks to my sister Ellie Oakley, who
provided the inspiration for the journal and
talked through countless ideas with me.
Many of these activities were suggested by
people who have battled eating disorders so a
huge shout-out to anyone who helped this
project.
2

Contents
Introduction ............................................................................................................ 6
Hello World! ............................................................................................................ 7
Plan Your Day ........................................................................................................ 8
Take a deep breath ............................................................................................ 9
Reasons to recover ......................................................................................... 10
Electrolyte Smoothie ....................................................................................... 11
Treat yourself! .................................................................................................... 12
Bombs away!........................................................................................................ 13
Demolition Derby ................................................................................................14
I double dare you! .............................................................................................. 16
Change your tune .............................................................................................. 17
Photo Fabulous .................................................................................................. 19
Why is body image important? ............................................................... 20
Doodlebug ............................................................................................................. 21
This is a stream of consciousness... ......................................................... 22
One step forward, two steps back... ........................................................ 23
Box of tricks ....................................................................................................... 24
Meditation ............................................................................................................. 25
Why do I feel how I do? .................................................................................. 26
Alternatives to self-harm ............................................................................... 27
Exercise ............................................................................................................... 28
Rose-tinted glasses .......................................................................................... 29
Oodles of doodles.............................................................................................. 30
Beautiful Breakfasts ......................................................................................... 31
Pet Peeves ........................................................................................................... 33
Every cloud has a silver lining...................................................................... 34
3

Jekyll and Hyde ................................................................................................... 35
Beauty sleep ......................................................................................................... 36
Do or dye ............................................................................................................. 37
Back to the Future! .......................................................................................... 38
Thought detectives ............................................................................................ 39
To the core ......................................................................................................... 40
Face your fears! ............................................................................................... 41
House of mirrors .............................................................................................. 43
Oh crumbs... ........................................................................................................ 44
A letter to.............................................................................................................. 45
4

5

Introduction
This is your journal.
That means you keep it, you choose what you
write, and when you’re done with it, you’ll be the
proud owner of a one-of-a-kind work of art.
There are about 30 activities in it, so should last
you about a month if you do one a day, but you can
do them at whatever pace and order you fancy.
The title is about eating disorders, but really it’s so
much more: anxiety, mood, health and some things
are just there because they’re fun! It’s not a cure
for anything, but may help you think about things
differently.
If you want to, personalise your journal: stick things
on it, colour it in and make it unique!
Note: Some activities require supplies, so maybe
have a flick through in advance so you’re not
caught off-guard!
6

Hello World!
This journal is going to be your friend for the next month
- so tell it a bit about yourself. (Also useful in case it gets lost!)
Your name:
Age:
About you:
(Hair colour,
Eye colour,
personality,
everything that
makes you, you)
3 favourite things:
3 fears:
7
Someone who you
care about:
If you were an
animal, which one
would you be, and
why?:
Somewhere you’d
love to visit:
What is your
secret talent?

Plan Your Day
Often, when people are stressed they lose any sense of routine. A
proper routine can help you get back on track and feeling good.
It may seem silly but try writing a schedule for tomorrow. Make
sure you include things like personal hygiene, eating, socialising,
and a good amount of sleep.
Time
6:00am
7:00am
8:00am
9:00am
10:00am
11:00am
12:00pm
1:00pm
2:00pm
3:00pm
4:00pm
Activity
5:00pm
6:00pm
7:00pm
8:00pm
9:00pm
10:00pm
11:00pm
8

Take a deep breath
Deep breathing is a good way to relax when you’re anxious. Even
better, you can do it anywhere and people won’t even notice!
Breathing techniques are even a key part of Yoga known as
“Pranayama” - “prana” in Sanskrit means both "breath" and "spirit
energy".
Try to step out of the situation, and focus on your breathing.
Listen to the sound of your breathing and take slow deep breaths.
Here are three great techniques you can try in different
situations:
Before something stressful - Abdominal Breathing
Place one hand on your tummy and the other on your chest bone
and feel the movement of your body as you breathe in and out. If
you can, breathe from your abdomen rather than your chest and
take some slow deep breaths.
For an energy boost - Alternate Nostril Breathing
Some say this one gets both sides of your brain going. Start by
pinching your nose, block off your right nostril, and inhale through
your left nostril, now block off your left nostril and exhale through
your right nostril. Carry on the pattern, switching it by breathing in
with your right and out with your left nostril,
Before Bedtime - Equal Breathing
This one is as simple as breathing in, counting to four, then
exhaling and counting to four again. Breath through your nose as
this will slow down your breath and let you relax. You don't just
have to do it at bedtime either, this one can be done any time, any
place.
9

Reasons to recover
Sometimes, you need a little reminder of the things that are
important to you. Before you get better, you need a reason to
recover. Maybe it’s so that you can spend more time with your
family, so that you feel healthier or so that you can go out with
your friends and manage to sit at a café with them. Try and list 10
reasons that make you want to recover.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
10

Electrolyte Smoothie
Electrolytes are salts in our body that help it to function.
Things like potassium, magnesium, calcium and zinc all
play vital roles in our body. If you have problems with
purging then this can upset your electrolytes and puts
you at risk of being ill, even causing heart problems!
Here’s a recipe for a smoothie which can help restore
the balance. Purging isn't healthy for your body, but if
do you purge then a smoothie will help limit some of the
damage until you feel you can cut down and stop.
Ingredients
• 1 frozen banana (peeled and sliced) – Magnesium and potassium
• 1 medium mango (in chunks) – Zinc, potassium and magnesium
• 100ml of orange juice – Potassium
• 100ml of almond milk – Calcium, magnesium and potassium
Method
1. Blend the banana and almond milk together in a good
blender until the mixture is smooth and creamy.
2. Add the mango and orange juice and carry on blending until
it’s thoroughly mixed, this will take a couple of minutes.
3. Try and enjoy your smoothie! Take small sips and do your
best to keep it down. Try before bed so it has a long time to
digest or with breakfast to give you a boost.
Another good option if you don’t have the time/resources for
smoothies is to drink coconut water!
If you are seeing a clinician, it is best to speak to them about
your diet. They should be able to give you advice on what to eat.
Too many electrolytes can also cause problems, so talk to a
nutritionist if you can for the best advice.
11

Treat yourself!
Making changes can be hard, especially if you’re trying to break a
habit. Which is why treating yourself is important!
1. Find a jar and make sure it’s clean.
2. Decorate it however you like! (With ribbon, glitter glue,
stickers – get creative)
3. Find some buttons. You can often find these at markets
or online – get lots of different kinds.
4. Every time you do something tough like not purging
(even if you really want to), going out even if you’re
miserable, or sharing how you feel even though it’s kind
of private: put a button in the jar.
5. Choose how many buttons you need before you get a
treat: Somewhere between 10 and 15 is a good idea.
6. When you get enough buttons in your jar, treat
yourself! Pick something non-food related, like a
manicure, a small piece of jewellery or a bath bomb.
7. Empty the jar and start all over again, maybe you could
keep a list of the treats you got yourself and remember that
you earned them the hard way.
12

Bombs away!
Looking after yourself starts with the basics, so let’s get you spick
and span and smelling good. Now it doesn't matter if you’re a bath
person or a shower person as we’ve got ideas for both, with a
luscious bath bomb and a super shower scrub. So pick your
favourite or even give both a go! These make great gifts, or even
a fun thing to do with a friend.
Bath Bomb
Ingredients
• 1 cup Baking Soda
• 1/2 cup Epsom Salts
• 2 tablespoons Coconut Oil
• 1/2 cup Citric Acid
• A mould for your bath bombs
e.g. a muffin tray
• Some vegetable oil
• 4-5 drops Essential Oils
e.g. Lavender (Optional)
• Food colouring (Optional)
Instructions
1. Mix all dry ingredients in a bowl
2. Mix all wet ingredients in a
separate bowl
3. Slowly add the wet ingredients to
the dry ones, it may fizz a little but
keep stirring.
4. Add a few drops of oil to each
mould and fill it with the mixture.
(Don’t fill to the top as the mix will
expand slightly)
5. Leave at room temperature for
at least 3 hours and until hardened.
6. Enjoy your bath bomb in a nice
relaxing bath!
13
Shower Scrub
Ingredients
• 1 cup of brown sugar
• 1/2 cup of coconut oil
• 2 tablespoons of
cocoa powder
• 4-5 drops of coconut
extract/ essential oils
Instructions
1. Mix all the ingredients
together in a bowl until
they are smooth.
2. Put it in a jar. (you
could decorate it with
ribbon if it’s a gift)
Once a week rub the
mixture on your skin
then wash it off!

Demolition Derby
Write down all the bad things your illness tells you or leads to, on
this page then rip it up and destroy it! Flush it down the loo,
scrunch it up, tear it to shreds…the possibilities are endless.
Your eating disorder has such a destructive impact on you, it’s
time to get your own back!
14

15
This page is blank for when you
tear out the page before!

I double dare you!
It’s good to set goals, it gives you something to aim for and you
generally feel pretty good when you succeed.
We often bite off more than we can chew or don’t know how to
go from dream to reality. Today, we're going to set some goals to
achieve by the end of the month but try to follow these tips!
Be realistic
If you plan to go to the moon, unless you become an astronaut it’s
probably not going to happen! That’s not to say it’s bad to have
dreams or long term goals as long as you have smaller
reasonable ones too.
Choose something specific
Instead of something like trying to "sleep better", a more useful
way to goal set is to say "I want to go to sleep at 10pm tonight".
That way, you can say for sure that you’ve achieved your goal.
Remember to celebrate your achievements!
If you've done something really tough, then treat yourself!
Everyone has different ways of doing that, but try and make sure
it’s something positive and healthy.
List your goal below, and when you want to do it by:
If you want to learn more about goal setting look up SMART goals!
16

Change your tune
Change is really hard. Especially when it’s a major change or
something that’s a big part of your life. It never happens straight
away and some people have suggested that there are several
steps people go through.
Think about what step you’re in and what’s stopping you change.
1. Precontemplation
• You think that everything is
fine how it is and you don't
see things as a problem.
5. Maintenance/Relapse
• Hopefully you stick with your
change and maintain it.
• You might fall back into old
habits, and go back to the
contemplation or
precontemplation stage
2. Contemplation
• You've thought about
change but ugh. It's so
difficult and you don't
even know how to do it.
4. Action
• Yay! You've started
to change what you
do, but that doesn't
mean you're done.
3. Preparation
• You think you know
how to make a
change, but you're
not sure if you
want to go through
with it.
17

Here are some suggestions to help you move to the next stage if
you’re stuck:
1. Precontemplation
Take a look back at the ‘Reasons to recover’ page. These
are the advantages to making your change. Of course
there are difficulties but the change is worth it!
2. Contemplation
Talk your thoughts through with a friend or someone else.
They might help you realise that if you work hard you can
really do this!
3. Preparation
Tell your friends and family what you’re planning to do.
Remove anything which may trigger you.
Set a date and make a plan of what you’re going to do.
4. Action
Put your plan into action, remember why you’re doing it and
if you have difficulties think about what you can do to get
around them.
5. Maintenance/Relapse
You need to stick with your change; be aware of any
warning signs that you might be slipping into old habits.
If you do relapse, that’s okay! There’s a page later on (‘One
step forwards, two steps back’) that looks at how to deal
with this.
Think about why things went wrong and what you can do
next time to stop it happening: it often takes two or more
goes to make a change stick.
18

Photo Fabulous
Stick in a photo of yourself. Find 10 things you like about your
body and label them. Refer to this whenever you are lacking body
confidence. If you are struggling to do this alone, ask a friend what
they like about your body.
Stick
your
photo
here!
19

Why is body image important?
Our body image is how we feel about our bodies, including
your appearance and how you think other people see you.
Having a good body image doesn't mean you have to think
you're attractive or perfect, but it's being comfortable with
who you are. Society has some ridiculous expectations of
beauty which are often impossible especially in a world of
Photoshop and make-up.
Listing things that you (or others) like about yourself reminds
you that it is possible to be happy and healthy, and not to be
too tough on yourself.
Body image has a real effect on people, and can really knock
your confidence! Isn't it crazy that 1 in 6 people taking their
GCSEs have avoided going to school because they felt bad
about their appearance? Poor body image is also linked to
lower confidence, lower aspirations and people not joining in.
Believe in yourself and don't be afraid to dream! Also
remember to share the love, and tell other people if they look
good, that little compliment can make someone's day.
20

Doodlebug
Did you know doodling is good for you?
It can focus your mind and help relieve stress.
Finish off this page with your own doodles and colour it in!
21

This is a stream of
consciousness...
Motivational interviewing
22

One step forward,
two steps back...
It's really good to make positive changes and try to recover but it
doesn't all happen straight way. Sometimes you can have hiccups
or things can even get worse!
Recognize when things haven't gone to plan
It’s okay to say to yourself “this isn’t working”. If you find yourself
in this position STOP, and take a moment to look at the situation.
Don't play the blame game
It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, blaming people won’t make
things better.
Make a plan and keep pushing yourself
Don’t give up, think about what set you back and come up with a
solution. Even better – come up with multiple solutions so if Plan A
doesn’t work, you have a Plan B and even a Plan C! Think about
why you’re doing what you’re doing; if it’s eating disorder related,
look at your reasons to recover. The goal setting earlier in the
book might also help you get back on track.
Try writing a problem down and make a spider diagram to see
how many different solutions you can think of:
23

Box of tricks
Think of all the things which help you to feel good. These should be
healthy things which can deal with stress. Think about music,
meditation or other activities you do. Write them down here, and
you'll have a little toolkit next time you're anxious, like if one of
your triggers sets you off.
Also, maybe specific people are good at helping you calm down,
you could always write their names down here and keep this page
with you so that people know what help to get in the future.
24

Meditation
Close your eyes.
For a few minutes, sit and focus on everything going on around
you. Pick out all the sounds and sensations you usually miss. Be
aware of your body. Try to make sure no-one disturbs you.
Breathe slowly, trying the breathing exercises earlier in the book.
Starting with the top of your head, sweep through every part of
your body, moving downwards feeling for any tension as you try
and let go and relax.
25

Why do I feel how I do?
People can feel down for several reasons: some of these include
• Having a negative view of yourself
• Interpreting things in a negative and biased way
• Having a negative view of the future
People don’t choose to think like this, often it’s out of habit. Also
there are other reasons people feel sad, but learning to think
differently and recognize bad thoughts can give you a boost.
Here's an example:
Event
You fail an exam
Thought
Good: It’s okay, I’ll work hard and pass next time.
Bad: I’m useless, I can’t do anything
Action
Good: You revise for the exam and pass!
Bad: You don’t feel like doing anything and struggle
Feelings
Good: Positive, as I know next time I’ll be prepared.
Bad: Sad, unsure about the future.
26

Alternatives to self-harm
Sometimes when people feel down and don’t know how else to
cope they can self-harm. Obviously it’s not healthy, but people can
feel pretty desperate. If you ever feel like this, then these are
some safe alternatives to try instead.
1. Stomp around as loud as you can.
2. Draw funny faces on the photos in a magazine.
3. Hit a pillow against the wall as hard as you can.
4. Pop some bubble wrap. (Most people love this so you
can even do it with a friend!)
5. Stretch some blu-tack out then scrunch it up again.
6. Jump on some drinks cans and crush them (with shoes
on).
7. Hold ice against your skin/ run cold water on your
hands.
8. Scribble on some paper so it’s completely coloured in.
9. Find somewhere you can shout as loud as you like.
10. Draw on your skin with a marker
Try the Butterfly Project: draw a butterfly where you
want to self-harm, and if the butterfly stays until the
marker fades then it lived and flown away!
11. Cut up some fruit instead (and make a fruit salad!)
12. Throw a bouncy ball against the wall.
13. Kiss the place you want to harm or have a wound to
remind yourself that you care about your body.
27
Remember, if you do self-harm, you should
tell someone so that you can get any injuries
sorted out properly.

Exercise
When you're feeling down you often don't feel like
doing anything. Maybe part of why you’re down, is
because you’re not doing anything. Exercise can
help your mood and prevent anxiety.
(Over-exercise is dangerous, and a problem for some
people; If exercising becomes a duty and not something you enjoy,
or it gets in the way of every-day life, then you’re probably doing
too much!)
Here are some suggestions to get you up and moving:
Dancing
Perfect to do with friends and really fun.
Put on your favourite music and make up some routines or just
shake your body and jump! Games like Just Dance are also good
to give you ideas, or add some competition into the mix.
Walking
This is so simple, but can really help. Take your feet, and just pick
somewhere to go. Make sure someone knows where you're
going, or go in a group. If there’s a park nearby you can even get
a bit closer to nature.
Gardening
This doesn’t seem like exercise, but it can get you really active!
Digging, and weeding can make you stretch, and if you’re a fan of
flowers there’s nothing better. If you're adventurous you could try
growing your own fruit and vegetables.
If you are seeing a clinician, it’s a good idea to seek their advice on
the right amount. Remember, if you’re doing more, you need to
give your body more energy.
28

Rose-tinted glasses
You may have heard of people "looking through rose-tinted
glasses" when people always see things in a positive way. Well
sometimes the opposite can happen! Your brain doesn’t always
see things how they actually are, it sometimes tricky to know what
the truth is. Maybe you have some glasses that make you see the
worst in things.
Below are some ways of thinking that people sometimes fall into.
Tick the ones that you sometimes think, if you find yourself ticking
quite a few, then trying to change how you think might really help
you. Thoughts are explored later on, but try and imagine how
someone else might think about these situations. If you find
yourself having a negative thought, try and take of your glasses
and look at the situation again.
Things always go wrong for me.
I’ll never be able to do anything right.
I should be a better person.
I’m useless and no good.
I’m un-loveable.
I always mess things up.
I’m a fraud.
Things need to be perfect.
I’m a failure.
He/she didn’t say hello; I must be boring.
Nobody likes me.
If it’s not right, there’s no point doing it at all.
29
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Oodles of doodles
It turns out that people really love doodles! So by popular demand
there’s an extra doodle page here. Go wild!
30

Beautiful Breakfasts
It’s a common saying that breakfast is the most important meal of
the day, but why? Does it really matter if you skip breakfast, I
mean sometimes we’re all busy, right?
Apart from just giving you the fuel you need to kick ass
throughout the day, a healthy breakfast gives you nutrients the
body needs. People who make time for breakfast often have a
healthier diet overall! Here are some recipes to make breakfast a
bit more fun.
Breakfast Bars
Ingredients
• 1 x 397 grams can condensed milk
• 250 grams rolled oats (not instant)
• 75 grams shredded coconut
• 100 grams dried cranberries
• 125 grams mixed seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, sesame)
• 125 grams natural unsalted peanuts
Method
1. Preheat the oven to 130°C/gas mark ½/250ºF, and oil a
23 x 33 x 4cm / 9 x 13-inch baking tin, or use a
throwaway foil one.
2. Warm the condensed milk in a large pan.
3. Meanwhile, mix together all the other ingredients and
then add the warmed condensed milk, using a rubber or
wooden spatula to fold and distribute.
4. Spread the mixture into the tin and press down with the
spatula or, better still, your hands (wearing disposable
vinyl gloves to stop you sticking), to even the surface.
5. Bake for 1 hour, then remove from the oven and, after
about 15 minutes, cut into four across, and four down to
make 16 chunky bars. Let cool completely.
31

Avocado Toasts
Ingredients
• Ripe Avocado
• 1/2 lemon juice
• Salt
• 2 slices of bread
• Olive Oil
• Seasoning
• Egg (Optional)
Method
1. Cut avocado, remove pip and scoop flesh into bowl
2. Add lemon juice and salt to taste
3. Mash with fork to the texture you want
4. Spread onto toast, drizzle with oil and season
(Add one or two eggs to your toast for an extra bit of protein!)
Breakfast Fruit Parfait
Ingredients
• 2 cups plain yogurt
• 2 cups your favourite granola
• 2 cups fresh berries (raspberries, blueberries, strawberries
(hulled and sliced), and/or other fruit such as bananas or
mangos, peeled and sliced
• 4 tablespoons honey
Method
1. Line up 4 parfait, white wine, or other tall glasses.
2. Spoon 2 tablespoons of yogurt into each glass and
smooth surface.
3. Spoon 2 tablespoons of granola overtop and smooth
surface.
4. Spoon 2 tablespoons of fruit overtop and smooth
surface.
Repeat the process, adding some honey to taste.
32

Pet Peeves
So maybe you've already touched on what you’re like when
already in a bad mood or feeling down, but have you thought of
what makes you feel that way? Maybe it's people talking about a
certain topic, having an argument with someone, or certain food
cravings.
It's time to think about triggers, things that set you off. Write them
down here, and if you've done other pages, you can make a little
kit which says what triggers you, signs that you're stressed, and
coping strategies to help you deal with it before it becomes a
problem.
1.
Things that trigger me:
2.
3.
4.
5.
33

Every cloud has
a silver lining
Take a few things that have happened that seem negative and try
and find a positive way to think about it. If you're having trouble,
then ask a friend!
Of course, you can't turn everything into a positive, and it’s
definitely important to recognize the sadness when something bad
has happened.
Example: My day was awful, I was late to meet my friends and we
missed the film we were going to see.
Seeing the positive: I'm glad my friends waited for me, even
though we didn't see the film, we went to the park instead and had
a great time
What happened:
Seeing the positive:
What happened:
Seeing the positive:
What happened:
Seeing the positive:
34

Jekyll and Hyde
Have you ever noticed that sometimes it’s as if there’s two
versions of yourself? The good-you, who’s great to be around
and generally in a good mood, then the evil twin where everything
goes a bit pear-shaped.
Draw and write about two copies of you, one when you're feeling
well and one when you're grumpy and need some support, what's
different between the two? Maybe the other-you doesn't join in
activities or might get snappy at people.
Of course there aren’t really two versions of you, but maybe by
drawing it out, you'll notice signs that things aren't quite right so
that you can talk to someone about how you're feeling before you
turn into a bit of a monster!
When I’m happy
When I feel down
35

Beauty sleep
A good night’s sleep can make the world a much better place.
Sometimes though, no matter what, you just can’t get to sleep.
There are some things you can do, known as ‘sleep hygiene’ which
can get you ready for a proper sleep and have you feeling shipshape.
1. Avoid things that stimulate you.
The main one is caffeine, so avoid coffee and cola for at
least four hours before bed time. The same thing applies
for smokers.
2. Don’t work in your bedroom!
If you have to study, don’t do it in your room. That way your
body knows your bedroom is a place for relaxing.
3. Have a routine.
Routines were mentioned earlier in this journal, but a set
routine like, having a shower and reading a book for half an
hour can give your body the signs that it’s almost bed-time.
Similarly, be consistent and try to go to bed at the same
time.
4. Avoid artificial light
Try not to look at your phone, or computers in the hour
before bed-time. The light can affect your brain and stop
you getting to sleep.
5. Have a bath and a hot drink
If you can, have a bath – the hot water is so relaxing. See
the bath bomb recipes to make it extra special. A hot drink
like warm milk or hot chocolate will also help you to nod off.
36

Do or dye
Have you got an old white top somewhere at the back of your
closet? Of course you have! Time to give it a new lease of life with
some tie-dye. It’s different every time, and you can get some great
results. You can even dye clothes and give them to your friends.
What you need:
• Several types of fabric dye
• Rubber bands
• Rubber gloves
• Marbles
• A Bucket
• Water
• Some clothes to dye!
Method:
1. Get the dye ready in the bucket, according to the
instructions on the packet. Make sure you wear gloves as
the dye can irritate your skin.
2. Tie your clothes using the rubber bands and marbles:
different techniques give different effects.
sunburst stripes circles
rubber bands
with several
marbles
just
rubber
bands
marbles
with a
single band
3. Place in the dye for at least 15-20 minutes (the longer you
leave it, the stronger the colour)
4. Rinse out the clothes according to the instructions on the
dye and dry them out.
37

Back to the Future!
Imagine you find a time machine and it takes you 10 years into the
future. What’s changed? What do you think you’ll be doing? Write
here what you think it’ll be like: describe the sights and sensations
then maybe look back in the future and see if it’s like you imagined!
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Thought detectives
Core beliefs are really important, often lots of other thoughts
stem from them and if they’re negative then it can affect how you
think about everything.
They’re hard to identify and harder to challenge but here's a way
to try and work it all out. You just have to be a bit of a detective
and find the clues.
Take a negative thought you often have, and trace it back to get
to the core belief. To trace it back, ask yourself "If this were true,
what does this mean about me?"
An example is on the left, with a space for you to try it on the right.
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Example
Negative Thought
“My friend didn’t want to
meet up”
(What does this mean?)
“I’m boring”
(What does this mean?)
“Nobody likes me”
(What does this mean?)
“I’m worthless”
(CORE BELIEF)
Negative Thought
. .
(What does this mean?)
. .
(What does this mean?)
. .
(What does this mean?)
. .
(What does this mean?)
. .
(CORE BELIEF)

To the core
Hopefully you managed to track your thoughts back
to the negative core beliefs behind them. It’s difficult to challenge
these thoughts especially when you've spent most of your time
focusing on things that makes you believe them.
Write down the core belief, and then try and find evidence that
proves it wrong. So the example in the last page was that the
person thinks they are worthless. Asking a friend for evidence, or
keeping a diary of things helps stop you forgetting them, otherwise
you’ll only remember the negatives.
Core Belief:
(e.g. ‘I’m worthless’)
Evidence it’s not true: (e.g. ‘Sophie said she wants to meet up’)
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Face your fears!
The best way to get over what scares you is to deal with it head
on - otherwise you just avoid it and you find it controls your life.
Often build up to something scary feels much worse than actually
doing it. Start off slow, with something manageable, then next time
push yourself a little further. Try the ‘Take a deep breath’ page
earlier in the journal to calm yourself before facing a fear.
Things may not go perfectly (see ‘One step forwards two steps
back’) but that’s no reason not to try again!
To face your fears, try making a fear ladder. Put the least scary
thing at the bottom, and the scariest thing at the top. Here are
some examples.
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Eating a meal in a
restaurant
Having a snack in a café
Having a drink in a café
Eating in front of a friend
Having a drink with a
friend
Talking to someone while
they are eating
Go a whole day without
purging
Wait at least an hour
after eating before going
to the bathroom
Eat three healthy meals
in a day
Plan what you are going
to eat that day and stick
to it
Drink a nourishing
smoothie without purging
Record what you eat for
a whole day

Try and make your own ladders, crossing off each thing as
you do it, to climb your ladder!
Most scary
Least scary
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House of mirrors
Have you ever been into a room full of mirrors where everything
is distorted? Your body looks out of proportion and it can be quite
scary! Body Dysmorphic Disorder, or BDD, creates a similar
effect when you look in and ordinary mirror. Typically, you think
you look awful when you see yourself in the mirror even though
it’s not really true. A similar thing can happen with weight though
this isn’t strictly BDD. Your body image isn’t just what you see, but
what you think! This includes memories and mental images.
Do you find yourself constantly checking your appearance in the
mirror? Or do you avoid them completely? Try to count the
number of times you look at your reflection as an
experiment- include looking in window reflections and any
other reflective surface.
If you check your appearance more than 15-20 times, challenge
yourself to do this less as preoccupation with body image can fuel
BDD. On the other hand, if you find you are actively avoiding
looking in the mirror, this could be down to feelings of shame
towards your appearance. Instead, challenge yourself to look in
the mirror and pick out things about yourself that you do like –
take a look back at the ‘Photo Fabulous’ section of the book.
It is very important to remember that while how we look may feel
very important, despite being cliché it really is who you are inside
that matters. Try to avoid compulsive behaviours you may do
such as mirror checking, comparing yourself to others and
reassurance seeking. Look at the coping mechanisms you wrote
in the ‘Box of tricks’ section if you find this hard.
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Oh crumbs...
When people talk about baking, most people think of cakes.
Not this time though – you’re going to learn how to make bread.
This can be pretty satisfying as you need to really put some effort
into kneading it all together. Perfect if you want to de-stress!
Ingredients
• 500g white bread flour
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 7g yeast (1 sachet)
• 300ml lukewarm water
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
Method
1. Mix the flour and yeast in a bowl.
2. Add the oil and water and mix everything together
3. Add the salt and continue to mix
4. Put some flour on a work surface, and tip the mixture on it
5. Knead the dough, stretching it between both hands until it is
really smooth and springy, then place it in an oiled bowl with
some cling film on top and leave for at least an hour until it
has doubled in size.
6. Line a tray with some baking parchment
7. Heat the oven to 220ºC (200ºC for a fan oven)/gas mark 7
8. Take your dough and knock the air out of it, form it into a
ball and place it on the tray
9. Slash the top of the bread and bake in the oven for 25-30
minutes until golden brown
10. Allow to cool on a wire rack
Maybe you could toast it and try the avocado breakfast recipe!
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A letter to...
You’re at the end of this journal, maybe you’re not ready to say
goodbye to your eating disorder just yet, but you can let it know
how you feel.
It’s something very personal, so here’s your chance to say the
things you’ve never had the chance to. Think about how it has
made you feel, the ways in which it’s affected your life. You can do
it in this book, or find a piece of paper. Try and get it all down, it’s
a chance to try and let go. Your eating disorder isn’t you! – It’s
easy to feel like it’s a big part of who you are, but you’re so much
more than that.
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