Behaviour Matters June 2015

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Expert Voice Richard McDougall is an expert in body language and communication, with more than 10 years experience coaching individuals and teams. He is also one of the most respected magicians in the world. Name of the Game meant that there came a time when there was real understanding and appreciation of what he was telling us. As I sit here and write this, I can hear his voice saying one of his many phrases that were short, simple and mathematically correct: “The name of the game is communication.” 10 It is very important to have a mentor. Someone who can listen, guide and offer honest but accurate feedback. I was very fortunate that I met mine when I was 13, and he stayed my mentor for over thirty-five years, until his death almost exactly a year ago as I write this. Alan Alan was extraordinary. After starting out in show business performing magic, a love of which he never lost, he made his name as an escapologist: his act involved being handcuffed and wrapped in chains, which were padlocked by two members of the audience. His feet were tied to a rope, and the rope was pulled up into the air, with Alan dangling beneath. In a circus or theatre, this was to the top of the building. Outside, it might be from a crane or from a helicopter. His aim was to get out of the handcuffs and chains. Oh, and the rope was on fire... and when he worked in the circus, the lions were let loose into the ring beneath him. His death-defying, iconic act made him one of the highest paid speciality acts in the world and for thirty years, he was in constant demand around the world. During that time, he worked with some of the greatest performers on the stage, and some of the smartest minds behind the scenes in theatre and television. He was close friends with some of the most brilliant magicians of the 20th century, and all that knowledge, coupled with his own forensic analysis of every moment in a theatrical act, gave him a deep and profound insight on successful performance. It was this approach to deconstruction and understanding, based on acute observation that he passed so generously to a group of just four or five of us. We used to visit Alan in his flat towards the end of his working life and many times during his long retirement, and he would play film clips of performers like Sinatra, Judy Garland or Pavarotti. He would freeze the action, and ask us about the impact of their persona, and the methods they had used to connect with us. He talked about posture, the beats of silence between words, how to convey authenticity through the eyes; how to make sure that everyone felt they were being looked at, even in an audience of thousands. We watched Charlie Chaplin and Laurel and Hardy, Eric Morecambe – in fact anyone who was at the top of their game, and the same questions were asked. At that time, many of us were still in our teens, and these concepts took a long time to be understood, but the sheer volume of excellence we were exposed to, as well as the other end of the scale, It is true whether you are performing magic for just a few people, or an act like his, on a stage in front of thousands. It is especially also true, however, in business. The name of the game is communication. Whether it’s a business meeting, pitch, internal meetings, large presentations or meeting just one client, it all comes down to communication. I am not sure if it is arrogance or ignorance, although I suspect a little of both, that so little time or effort is expended on arguably the most crucial skill in business: understanding how to explain, persuade, negotiate, inform or sell, with clarity, simplicity and authenticity. It should be mandatory for everyone. Doctors with patients, staff with customers; all would improve business relationships by placing greater importance on listening skills and confident communication. Knowing how to engage an individual or a large group - and keep them engaged, would save literally millions of hours and pounds which are currently wasted on conferences in high cost venues that are crippled by presentations that have been delivered with no impact. As a sign of the low faith companies have of their presenters at a conference, most presentations will have the screen centre stage, and the speaker to the side. As a sign of the low confidence of presenters, most of them are happier presenting like this, and would be even more terrified the other way round. The most successful performers are always the best communicators. They may not be the most talented or have the best product, but they have found a way to engage with their customers that their competitors have not. I am sure we have all met someone in business and either immediately felt comfortable with them, or the hackles have been raised. Far fewer have perhaps stopped to analyse what has caused such visceral reaction. Fewer still have probably stopped to consider what impact we are having on those around us. If we did, we would realise that verbal and non-verbal communication have enormously more significance than we generally pay attention to, and that we can always improve these skills and reap greater rewards. It may sound a little trite to say, but how we communicate not only affects outcomes. It can also affect incomes. So start observing people closely today. Observe yourself, or ask your mentor how your style of communication is perceived. They don’t have to be an escapologist or from show business, they just have to be honest and accurate. Remember, the name of the game is communication. However you look at it, there is no escaping it. www.thebehaviourexpert.com www.highperformanceprogramme.com
8SIMPLE WAYS TO BE STRESS-FREE Look after yourself. We adopt the most common emotion that surrounds us, so start hanging around with positive people. Get help. We’re only human and simply can’t take on everything. Take some time off work if need be to sort things out but do it sooner rather than later: manage stress before it begins to manage you. Take 30 minutes every day to do something for you: walk the dog, read a book or go for a swim. It should be something you enjoy doing; sacrosanct time for you to enjoy, during which you switch off and relax – so no jogging while on your Blackberry! You are 10,000 times more important than you think you are. Your organization is about you – you’re a really important asset. Without the people inside your organization that make it happen every single day, it wouldn’t function. If you use ”I’m too busy” or “there isn’t enough time” as excuses, I guarantee we can fix that right now as they are common problems resulting from poor time management. Brighten up your workspace with a plant, photos of family, friends, pets or anything that has a special memory. Keep your working area tidy and free from clutter: if you clutter your desk, you clutter your mind. Recognise the signs of when stress is beginning to take over, which include irritability; loss of appetite; butterflies and anxiety; tearfulness and insomnia. Embracing change isn’t something humans are often particularly good at. The innate fear of failure we have takes over, as change often means the unknown. If you feel yourself getting worried, ask questions you need to help put your mind at rest. www.highperformanceprogramme.com www.thebehaviourexpert.com HIGH P R O G R A M M E
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Behaviour Matters June 2015

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