EXBERLINER Issue 148 April 2016

Drinking problem?
You are not alone!
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Ask Dr. Dot
q
My best friend’s boyfriend keeps hitting
on me when she is not around. I mean,
even if we’re out at a pub, if she goes to
the toilet, he’ll be flirting with me. We are all in
our early twenties, no kids involved or marriage.
He is very fit and good-looking and quite
frankly, it is flattering as my girlfriend usually
gets more attention than I do. I feel like I have
an angel on one shoulder and a horny devil on
the other. This has been going on since September
and I either have to shag this guy or tell my
friend, as the pressure is unbearable (and rather
hot). Please don’t suggest a threesome as I am
not a freak and my best friend is very jealous
and in love. I doubt she would even believe me
if I told her. Help! – Bestie Barb
a: Easy: put yourself in her shoes. Would you
want to know if the guy you loved was trying to
get into your best friend? Pretty sure you are
nodding your head vertically, ‘yes’. Tell her when
you’re out shopping or out for a walk. Don’t tell
her over a drink as emotions could get fuelled
and fists might start flying. Tell her you don’t want
to rock the boat, that they look so happy, etc. If
she doesn’t believe you, leave her to it; she will
find out the hard way, from someone else. And as
far as you even entertaining the thought of shagging
him (rewarding him for bad behaviour) just
remember that he cannot be trusted... so why
lose a best friend over a sneaky fuck like him? He
is just a thrill seeker and will hopefully be put in
his place sooner rather than later. You will feel so
free once you expose him. Don’t let your wilting
ego drive the car; you will just end up crashing.
q
Hi again, I confess I have been here before.
Recently I found my guy messaging a very
attractive woman on social media. I peeked
into his iPhone while he was taking a shit. So I
messaged this lady, from his account, and told
her, “Don’t call me anymore, I am staying with
my girlfriend; my soulmate. Leave me alone.” Of
course he later saw my message and got really
irate at me. But then I turned it around as to
why he was in contact with her, so we were sort
of even in the end. But now I cannot trust him.
I am constantly worrying what he is up to. She
looks to be about 20 years younger than me (I
am 61, my guy is 66). We have been dating for
nine years, so I thought this would be smooth
sailing until the end. How can I redeem myself?
Or should I? It is almost impossible to find a new
man in Berlin at my age... – Sugar Mama
a: Prying and checking up on him will not deter
him from pursuing another vagina. But being
more fun and exciting will divert his attention
back onto you. If you really want to keep him,
stop talking about her and concentrate on your
humour, oral sex skills, sexy nighties and interesting
date ideas (not all at once, as that would be
painfully obvious). Search for comedy shows to
go to, concerts, massage him or get a couples’
Send all questions or problems,
whatever they are, to me:
drdot@drdot.com
massage, go for long walks in the forest, etc.
You want it to be that when he thinks of you, he
remembers how he feels when he is with you –
relaxed, fun, loose, excited. Don’t be the chaser;
be the main attraction.
q
I am shaking as I feel like I made the right
and wrong decision at the same time. I just
ended a six-year relationship with a crackin’
girl. We are both 32, both English and have the
same sense of humour. We dated for three years
(it was bliss) and then I moved into her home. I
thought I’d marry her. But she has two sons from
another bloke; one is 10 and one is 15. What
started out as shagging multiple times per day
turned into me sleeping on her sofa and waking
to two cheeky boys asking me for money every
day. The boys also told me they “hate” me on a
regular basis. She started taking me for granted.
I left her, and I feel gutted about it. On the
other hand, I just want to be free for fuck’s sake.
Was I wrong to walk away from Ms. Right? I
really do love her. I am putting on a happy front
on Facebook but inside I am crying like a wee
bitch. Penny for your thoughts? – Fed-up Franki
a: First things first: if someone is pressed to
choose between a lover and their children, they
choose their children. If they don’t, why would
you want a cold-hearted fuck who puts their
kids second? She cannot get rid of her kids for
you. However, if you really do love her (and she
loves you), just take a break and think, relax,
go on holiday with some mates. Be alone for
a while and perhaps all that shit you ran from
might seem appetising. Thing is, in five years,
her 10-year-old won’t be home much anyway
and the 15-year-old will probably be living with
a girl in his own domestic dungeon by then.
Then you’ll have your Ms. Right pretty much
all to yourself. Think back to the three years
of dating before you moved into her place. If
those three years were great, and you end up
missing her to bits and she misses you too, why
not go back to square one and just date again?
No living together anymore; just date. We are
only on this Earth for a short time; we have to
do what makes us happy while we are here. And
living together can make even the most perfect
couple want to kill each other.
56 • SEPTEMBER 2014