Small answers to big questions

to big questions
Small answers
Roshan Daryanani

Acknowledgements
This book came to life because of the large
number of creators - artists, authors, poets and
dreamers - whose heartfelt work I wanted to
share. I am very grateful to all of them.
In particular, I started listening to
the Unmistakeable Creative podcast about
halfway through this project and was influenced
by a number of interviews from the show. Thanks
Srini, Brian and Derek for bringing together the
ideas of some very inspiring people!

Introduction
The internet is overflowing with beautiful,
inspiring pieces that can make your day a little
(or a lot) better.
In this pages of this book, you will find
(underlined) hyperlinks to articles, videos,
podcast interviews and books. I hope that some
of them resonate with you. In my experience,
taking time to digest and act on those ideas
which stir something deep inside you can bring
about great change in your life.
Explore these resources in any way you like
– you can start with the questions that
particularly interest you, spend time on one
question each week or flick to a random page.
When it comes to accessing books, there are
many ways to do this without necessarily

uying the books first-hand. Try to find them
in your local library (or check if they can be
called in from a neighbouring or central
library). Look for them in your local secondhand
bookstore, charity shop or on Amazon.
Swap books with friends. And search online
libraries like Scribd, which can give you
access to a number of e-books and
audiobooks.
May the ideas collected in this book motivate
you to start an adventure of your own!

You want to find what you lights you up inside
and do it often.

Write, build,
play,
volunteer,
perform,
travel!
Spend
some
time
alone
Listen
to Elizabeth
Gilbert's
advice
on passion
Experiment
with your
interests
Practise an
activity for a
few minutes
each day
How to find
Try
love
not
to
idealize
what
to
you
do
other's
work
Shonda Rhimes on
Dreaming vs. Doing
Jim Carrey
on doing what
you love
Listen to
people who
inspire you
- then act
Try
not to
idealize
other
people's
work
Debbie
Millman on
courage and
the creative
life
Explore
these great
posts from
the wonderful
Brainpickings
Read
Elle Luna's
post on The
Crossroads
of Should and
Must
Watch The Do
Lectures
Find your own
way to add value
to the world
Shonda Rhimes
on Doing vs.
Dreaming
Or listen to
her at the Do
Lectures

The pressure of work deadlines. The failing
health of a spouse. The struggle to make the rent
this month.
Thousands of times a day, these thoughts creep
into our mind, dragging a heavy knot into our
stomach. In spite of them being our constant
companions, we’re not normally taught how to
address them. Learning to manage our negative
thoughts is an invaluable practice and a lifelong
process – one that we should be talking about
more.

1
Accept them
We all have them -
they're part of being
human.
2
Rest
Can you spend some
time in nature or just
have a lie down?
A nap is an great way
to hit refresh.
3
Music
Music can change
your perspective and
work worders on a
jumpy mind.
What
to do
with negative
thoughts
4
Sit with them
Try simply observing
your
thoughts rather than
getting lost in them.
If this idea is new to
you try reading
Awareness
by Anthony de Mello,
or watch these powerful videos of his
Rediscovering Life retreat.
5
Express them
If you feel
overwhelmed, write
down your thoughts or
talk to someone you
trust.
6
Get inspired
Create a bank of
uplifting thoughts,
videos and books
that you can go to
when you need them.
Start with The
Ultimate Guide to
Feeling Awesome
and Ultimate ALL the
time by Lisa Esile.
It's wonderful.

What if you could find ways to move your body
that you looked forward to each day?
It’s possible; it really is. We know that exercise
can be one of the best daily practices for
improving our wellbeing – perhaps it’s just a
question of finding a form of it that we actually
enjoy.
Walks around your neighbourhood. A stroll
through the park with a friend. Classes at your
community centre. Games you play with your
kids. Exercise videos you follow along with at
home. New sports you’ve always wanted to try.
Experiment enough and you’ll find something
that suits you.

Remember how good
it can feel to move
Try a
Youtube
workout at
home
Dance!
How to use movement
TO GET
UNST UCK
Mercedes
Peynado
Join a
fitnessrelated
group in
your area
Rise up
Try
yoga
Meetup.com
Find ways to
stay in motion
during the day
with this article
Yoga with
Adriene

As a child, you are discovering the world the
world for the first time.
You question why we do things and where we
come from and why stuff happens.
Your powerful imagination and unaffected selfconfidence
mean that you think more of
possibilities than of limitations.
Any emotion that’s inside of you is allowed to
come to the surface instead of being bottled up.
You don’t build a false image of yourself for other
people – you just are what you are.
You laugh easily and often, because you don’t
need a reason to.
All of which is to say that spending time with
children reminds us of how to live life more fully.

How to
make
really
cool stuff
The ability
to say what
you think
How to keep
dreaming
What it
looks like
to do what
you love
The way
to put ideas
into action
How to
keep
wonder alive

When you’re completely lost and overwhelmed,
what do you do?
There is no easy answer to this question.
At the hardest times, perhaps it’s best to simply
do what comes naturally. You make room for the
pain. You cry or you shout or you curl up on your
bed; you let your body do what it wants to do
without judgement or blame.
This practice also helps you to be there for others.
While you may never be able to fully experience
their fears, grief or frustration, you can sit with
them and hold their hand as they try to work
through the chaos that life can sometimes be.

Find out how our shadows can become rocket fuel
Learn about Tim Lawrence's perspective on grief
and listen to an interview with him here
Read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
and read Eva Schloss' book: After Auschwitz
On finding healing
IN DARKNESS
Read about letting people be broken sometimes
Read Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen
And read her thoughts on seeking help in a
crisis here
Listen to Jerry Colonna talk about challenges
and resilience

“The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin,
beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something.
That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow
old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie
awake at night listening to the disorder of your
veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the
world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or
know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser
minds. There is only one thing for it then — to
learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it.
That is the only thing which the mind can never
exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never
fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.
Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot
of things there are to learn.”
-T.H. White
* Recommended episodes from the Tim Ferriss show:
Derek Sivers, Whitney Cummings, Kevin Kelly

Try one new
thing each
week (or
every day!)
Visit your
local library
Medium
Brainpickings
Pindex
Explore the
web
Or join an
online library
like Scribd
Skim through
book summaries
here and here
How to keep
Learning
Stay curious
Join a
group
Meetup
Keep
asking
questions
Talk to real
people!
Start
a conversation
with a
stranger
Listen to a
podcast
The
Unmistakeable
Creative and
The Tim Ferriss show*
are great
The
answers may
come in time

Not to get all dramatic, but spending time alone can change
your life. Really.
We come into the world as unique beings. Even as children, we
are individuals, each with different dispositions and tastes,
each with a fresh set of questions and observations about the
world that makes our parents chuckle.
As we grow up, we are told that there is only one way to learn,
to behave in society and to earn a living.
But there are as many ways to live a full life as there are people,
and using someone else’s principles to guide your existence can
leave you confused and dissatisfied. Find what makes your days
meaningful to you and then live your life accordingly.
The very idea of figuring out what you want can sound
daunting to many people, but it can start in incredibly simple
ways. Take a short walk. Sit quietly without your phone for five
minutes. Browse through your local library and find a book
you’re curious about. Use time spent by yourself to think about
what it is that really makes you happy.
It’s a worthwhile practice, trust me. Or I should really say, trust
yourself.

"Our society does not encourage a lot of self-knowledge.
You go to school, you go to industry, these are all the books,
these are all the blogs, these are all the movies, these are all the
newspapers. You know, there’s so much external stimuli that’s
vying for our attention, and we get taught that success comes
from our ability to absorb and analyse everything out there in
the world. It is rare that we are taught that our inner world is just
as vast and expansive and rich and deep and powerful and filled
with insight as the outer world.”
- Whitney Hess in an interview on the
Unmistakeable Creative Podcast
Why and how to spend time
by yourself
Read
two great articles
on being alone
here and here
Watch
How To Be Alone
by Andrea Dorfman
and Tanya Davis
How to be alone
by Sara Maitland
Enjoy
this book
recommendation
on Brainpickings
And the related
EVOLVE project
Explore
The 100-day
self-connection
experiment
with Kyle Cease

The tiniest, most ordinary adventures can be
incredibly fulfilling.

Easy ways to
be happy
Feel the sun on your face Take a bicycle ride
Go for a drive Read a book Call an old friend
Turn on the music Surprise someone with a gift
Sing (not just in the shower) Run Watch a movie
Pet a dog Play an instrument Take a nap
Eat some chocolate Walk in the rain
Dance
Meditate Pay someone a visit Go outside
Take a ride on a swing Write a thank-you note
Make a list of what inspires you or makes you smile
Volunteer Get crafty Hang out with a kid

Ah, food.
It’s a source of community, pleasure and relaxation. It’s
also a part of life that a large number of people struggle
with.
Unfortunately, a lot of the advice out there has us
thinking that a healthy lifestyle necessarily involves lots
of restrictions and lots of kale.
It is true that turning down some of the more harmful
foods we are surrounded by every day can be difficult,
given how tasty we find them. However, it is also true
that food which is good for you can be satisfying and
delicious. And cooking can be part of the fun*.
It’s worth spending some time trying out different foods
from your local market. What fruit, veggies, nuts and
seeds can you add to your diet instead of taking things
away? You may find that having a wide selection of good,
wholesome foods that you actually like at home means
you turn to cookies less often.
*Try this cookbook, generously made available online
for free by the author, Leanne Brown.

How to nourish
your body
while truly enjoying your food
Visit Summer Tomato
Darya Rose has a
comprehensive blog to
help sustainably change
your food habits
Start cooking with
Deliciously Ella
Ella Woodward's blog has
some great recipes and is
particularly good for those
who love sweets
Try these delectable
food blogs
If you feel up to taking it a step
further in the kitchen, these
sites will keep you busy
Follow the Food Rules
Michael Pollan's
advice on how to eat is
refreshingly simple.
You can also read his
in-depth essay on food,
Unhappy Meals
Read Transformational
Weight Loss
Charles' Einsenstein's profound
book on reconsidering your
relationship with food is worth a
read. It's freely available online
Also, explore intuitive eating
with this article

I used to think that being creative was about enjoying
craft projects the way I did as a child. Now I see that it
is about so much more. Many of our everyday acts
also involve bringing to life what wasn’t there before:
a father trying to engage with his teenage son in a
different way, a woman cracking a joke to help her
friend feel better, a pensioner taking up a new hobby.
The act of making something new doesn’t simply
enrich our lives. What we create can touch other
people and enhance our connection to them. As Neil
Gaiman points out in his beautiful commencement
speech, we should keep creating when life gets
difficult. Perhaps Kurt Vonnegut puts it most
poetically in his letter to a group of high school
students: creativity makes ‘your soul grow’.
Don’t get hung up on whether or not you are a
‘creative person’: just try making stuff that you enjoy,
whether it is music or food, and see where it takes you.

You can start
with her 'Magic
Lessons' podcast
Create
something
with this
fun, free
online class
Read
the wonderful
'Big Magic'
by Elizabeth
Gilbert
On the
marvellous
mystery of
making things
Creating adds
meaning to
other's lives
(and your
own!)
Enjoy
'Make people
gifts' by John
Green
Collaborate
creatively on
HitRecord
Transformed into a
lovely cartoon on
Zen Pencils
Watch this
wonderful
Soul Pancake
clip
The morning pages
Sarah mentions are
a remarkable tool, as
described here
From an interview
with Sarah Peck
on the
Unmistakeable
Creative podcast

Every day, each one of us wakes up and faces our
own challenges.
Sometimes, we start to question the point of it all
and feel that it has become impossible to endure
our burdens. At these times, we turn to others for
help and comfort. We need them to remind us
that we are not alone.
Over time, as you go through more and more of
the tough stuff, you start to realise that you are
far more capable than you believe.

What you can
learn from
Adversity
Read The
Yellow World
by Albert
Espinosa for
lessons the
author learnt
from cancer
The lesson that hope can be found in
the most unexpected places
The value of supportive friends and
family
To discover what's actually important to you
The idea that limitations
can sometimes be creative forces
Watch
Embrace the
Shake
by Phil Hansen
That there's strength you didn't know you
had, which you can pass on to others
Meg Worden talks courageously about
how time in prison influenced her life.
Listen to her on the Unmistakeable Creative podcast
Explore stoicism
as a summary
in some depth

We supposedly live in a self-centred culture, but
if we stop to think about it, do we really put our
own wellbeing before everything else?
Caring for yourself is about prioritizing your
health and mental peace and taking actions to
maintain it. If this is something you don’t do
often enough, consider that it can really
revolutionize your own life as well as influence
that of those around you.

You can watching his
uplifting talk
here
Enjoy
'The Art of Self-
Love':
an article by
Alexandra Harra
Read
Kamal
Ravikanth's
'Love yourself'
and 'Live Your
Truth'
Listen to this
interview with
Robert Holden
on the Adventures
in Happiness
podcast
Read this
wonderful
Facebook post by
Elizabeth Gilbert
Why self-care
and self-love
are vital
Enjoy 'Learning to
Love yourself': a
book
by Gay Hendricks
Read this
article
by
Kristin Neff

The death of our loved ones is probably the
hardest event that many of us will bear.
Could this be in part because we don’t
acknowledge the reality of death often enough?
It’s too morbid a topic – we’re not meant to bring
it up in conversation.
But I feel we should.
If we really faced our fears around death, our
overpowering grief, our uncertainties about
whether we’re living our lives fully and spending
enough time with those most precious to us –
maybe this would bring to light the deepest
desires that we all share.

Watch Anita Moorjani's
heartwarming
TED talk
Dig into Patti Digh's
book
Life is a verb
Read Paul Graham's
no nonsense essay:
Life is short
Spend 5 minutes
reflecting on
about this classic book
by Seneca
Or listen to her interview on the
Unmistakeable Creative podcast
Explore how the
Zen Hospice transforms
the experience
of dying
Listen to this short
message
from Alan Watts
How to
think differently
about dying
And watch this wonderful video from
Brandon Stanton, creator of HONY
Reflect on this
profound advice from
Roy Remer

How do you manage anger, sadness and fear?
Growing up, we’re not normally taught how to
deal with our feelings, even though they
influence every single choice we make.
This article by Pema Chödrön is a great starting
point for learning to let emotions pass through
you. While it requires patience, developing a
healthy relationship with feelings can help us to
spend less time reaching out for our phones or
for chocolate and allow us to actually connect
with ourselves and with each other.

How to befriend
Your Feelings
Watch this great talk by Sarah Peck
Read this article by
Karen Horneffer-Ginter
Reflect on The Guest House by Rumi
and All Feelings are Children by Jeff Foster
Enjoy this profound essay by Susan Piver
Read the Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
You can start exploring its basic premise in this
article and interview

There is something powerful about quieting your
mind enough to really absorb what’s going
around you.
When you truly listen, you put aside your beliefs
and judgements for a short while to take on
something new. And when you are ready to take
on something new, who knows what could
happen?

How to harness the power of
L I S T E N I N G
s
Read 'Just listen', an article by Rachel Naomi Remen
Reflect on how listening impacts what is said
Discover the sounds around you with this article
Absorb William Ury's thoughts on listening
Enjoy this fabulous talk on listening to classical music
Learn about the power of listening to stories
Listen to Cal Fussman's reflections on his interviews

When we fail, most of us feel a distinct burden in the pit of our
stomach telling us that things haven’t gone the way we wanted
them to. Instead of trying to run away from this feeling, we can
learn to view it as something that happens naturally when we’re
on a new venture. It’s funny how often people who end up
being successful are the ones who are willing to fail, because
they don’t see failure as the end of the road. They can see it as
one more step on their journey, or as re-direction onto a
different path, or simply as part of being human.
In her warm-hearted and inspiring book, ‘Big Magic’,
Elizabeth Gilbert writes about a quote from the author Clive
James, who discovered that “Failure has a function. It asks you
if you want to go on making things”.
What if we completely reversed what happens at school and
took on projects even if we knew we might fail at them?
What if our decision to take on something new was not based
on whether or not we are likely to succeed at it, but on whether
we might enjoy it or learn something useful and interesting
from it?
What if we failed, and went on making things and making
things happen? Our lives might look quite different if we did.

Also captured as
a zen pencils
comic!
Learn from
JK Rowling's
talk on failure and
imagination
Consider Read
what Amy Poehler says
about failure as a gift
on zen pencils
Consider
the unexpected path
your life has taken
after a setback -
did you gain insight
or experience?
How to
think differently about
The Art of Work
has some great
examples of this,
particularly in the
chapter 'Pivot
Points'
failure
Create
a 'failure resume'
as Tina Seelig suggests:
write down everything
you've learnt from your
personal and
professional
failures
Enjoy
the Youtube video:
Expanding yourself
through experience by
Dave Vanderveen
Watch
Jodi Sagorin's
TEDx talk
on rejection

To give is a natural human impulse.
Fear of scarcity causes us to try and accumulate
things for ourselves and our loved ones.
However, we’ve all experienced moments when
we were able to contribute and stopped to share.
Who can explain why we sometimes step forward
to relieve someone’s suffering or make their life a
tiny bit better? It just happens – and when it does,
a little more love is released into the world.

What
Happens when you
give
You
feel more
connected to
the world
Reflect on
Amanda Palmer's
words on the
beauty of giving
your art to others
You
start to feel
more
grateful
You
get back in
unexpected
ways
Listen to
Peter Singer's talk on
effective giving
Watch Mark
Boyle's wonderful
talk on
moneyless living
Enjoy Charles Eisenstein's
talk about stepping into the
gift
"Give without any
expectation of
receiving, without a
moment’s thought of
credit or debt, and
you will receive
whatever you need
when you need it."
Mark Boyle

We tend to have a fixed perspective on money. It
can be a burdensome subject for many people
and rarely one associated with ease and choice.
If you are willing to explore new ways of thinking
about money you may be able to identify what it
actually means to you and how you can improve
your relationship with it.

Can rethinking
money
BUY
YOU
Learn about frugality on the
(unrelated)
Frugtastic
facebook group
4 ways to quit
the rat race is a
good episode
to start with
Explore
Mr Money
Mustache's
blog
Entertaining,
inspiring advice on
early retirement
Follow The
Voluntary Life
podcast
FREEDOM?
Ideas to help you
live on your
own terms
Listen to
Barbara Stanny
giving her
perspective on
money
Her focus is on
changing how
women view
money and
power
Tune into
Radical Personal
Finance
More ideas
on managing your
money
Listen to this
perspective on
money from
Jose Mujica,
former President
of Uruguay
Explore
Early Retirement
Extreme
A thought-provoking
blog which
will make you
question
modern living
You can start by listening to Kate's interview on the
Unmistakeable Creative podcast
Learn from
Money: A Love
Story
This book can help
you to think about
your relationship
with
money

Everyone talks about how healthy food and
exercise are essential, but having enough fun?
That’s a serious matter too.

How to have
more fun
Experiment with some
suggestions from this
Tiny Buddha article
Experiment with
Laughter Yoga
Be like this kid
Here And here And here
Enjoy 'A playful path'
by Bernard de Koven
You can read it online
for free
Read more about the power of
improvisation...
Try Improvisation by
joining a Meetup group
in your area

All poets go on tiny adventures.
Think about it – poetry is about breaking the
rules of language and life. It’s about questioning
and staying curious and carving out something
beautiful from something ordinary.
If you don’t think you enjoy poetry, watch
‘Unlock the Universe’ a talk by the lovely Emilie
Zoey Baker about the power of this art form.
Also enjoy the wonderful Sarah Kay performing
‘B’ and ‘Hiroshima’.
Then read some more – and write some poems of
your own!

Poetry
that can teach us
how to live
Unlock the universe
Emilie Zoey Baker
B and Hiroshima
Sarah Kay
As I began to love myself
Charles Spencer (Charlie Chaplin)
Desiderata
Max Ehrmann
A brief for the defense
Jack Gilbert
"He Would Never Use One Word
Where None Would Do"
Phillip Levine
The Sun
and
Mary Oliver
When Death Comes

Good food, health, companionship, nature and
meaningful work.
We know these are the ingredients for a fulfilling
life. But often we need a reminder.

Mathias
Lefebvre -
Piano Man
The
Minimalists
on a rich life
with less stuff
Matt
Weinstein
on what
Bernie Madoff
couldn't steal
from him
What
we really need
to live
a good life
(in 7 TED talks)
Jon Jandai
on
how life is easy
David
Steindl-Rast
and Louie
Schwartzberg
on
gratitude
Marti Stano
on
minimalism
and happiness
Teresa Carey
on her
American
dream

A smile is a strange thing.
You turn up the corners of your mouth and
suddenly feel a teensy bit better. Weird how that
works, don’t you think? Pulling down your ears
doesn’t have the same effect.
Sometimes, we can use a little help to get our
facial muscles to relax. One action on your part
can liven up someone else’s day and do the same
for your own.

How to make someone
Smile
Start here
Tell them a
joke
Make them a
cake
Send them a
handwritten
letter
Make them a
compilation of written or
video messages from
their friends
Play them a fun song
from their childhood
Buy them
a good book
Show them this
Play a game
the Scared is scared
Also featured on the
fantastic Brainpickings
site
You can find some
ideas in and in deepfun.com
and The Lost Art of Having Fun

Finding out who we are and what we’re doing
here is the biggest question. Perhaps the most
important reason to explore it is to discover what
you can contribute the world and how you can
thrive while doing so.
As Anne Lamott puts it, in order to find out who
you are, you must realise who you aren’t. Over
time, as we keep letting go of the thoughts and
behaviours that don’t resonate with us, we get
closer to what we truly are.

THE QUESTION
OF
WHO YOU ARE
and how to be
honest with
yourself
Philosophize about who you are
with this TED-ED video
Watch this inspiring clip about
connecting to yourself
A very powerful
book
Read Anne Lammott's thoughts on
finding out who you aren't
Read The Untethered Soul
and The Lazy Man's guide to Enlightenment
Freely available online.
Not an easy read, but includes
some deep insights
Enjoy the candid Unmistakeable Creative
interviews of Wes Chapman and AJ Leon
Reflect on being the author of your own
life with Reema Zaman's wonderful
Unmistakeable Creative interview

This is perhaps the most controversial question
and not always applicable to every situation.
After all, life can take truly difficult turns that we
may never understand and other people can
sometimes carry out act actions that are
unforgiveable.
But what if, wherever possible, we were to adopt
a more graceful attitude towards whatever
happens? It is so hard to let go of wanting to
control almost everything that happens, yet
doing so can bring deep peace.
You have nothing to lose by experimenting with
this idea.

Listen to James Altucher
interviewing the author
here
Explore the
Surrender
Experiment
by Michael
Singer
Read this
article on
gratitude
by Joshua
Becker
Listen to
Eli Trier's
interview
on the Becoming
who you are
podcast
Including interesting
comments about:
What
if it's all
happening
for us?
-How gratitude is not
a denial of the
negative but an
expansion of your
awareness, allowing
you to see that every
situation has both
light and dark
- The power of
deepening rather than
broadening your
gratitude practice
Enjoy
Let your
life speak
by Parker
Palmer
Reflect on
this article
by Kathy
Cordova
Read
Outrageous
Openness
by Tosha
Silver

We have this idea that changing the world always
entails some momentous transformation. Can
we aim to help thousands of people or a large part
of the planet? Of course we can. At the same time,
we can forget the power we have to influence our
lives and those of our communities through our
tiny, everyday actions.
The detailed plan to start your own business, and
the friendly conversation with your new
neighbour: it’s all valuable. If we pay more
attention to all of it, whether big or small,
perhaps the results would surprise us.

Why you will
change the world
(and are already doing so)
Listen to
this.
Consider
this.
Watch
this.
Read this.
Reflect
on this.
Think
about this.
Enjoy
this
book.

"One isn’t born with courage.
One develops it. And you develop it
by doing small, courageous things, in the
same way that one wouldn’t set out
to pick up a 100 pound bag of rice.
If that was one’s aim,
the person would be advised to pick up
a five pound bag, and then a ten pound,
and then a 20 pound, and so forth, until
one builds up enough muscle
to actually pick up 100 pounds.
And that’s the same way with courage.
You develop courage by doing
courageous things, small things, but things
that cost you some exertion
– mental and, I suppose,
spiritual exertion."
- Maya Angelou