The Reprobate issue 0

A Sexhibitionist Peepshow in Manchester
Kinky hookups
Well, it had to happen I suppose. We have
Tindr for the straights, Grindr for the gays
and now there is Whiplr for the kinksters.
For those of you familiar with such –
ahem – ‘dating’ applications for your
mobile telephonic device, the format will
doubtless be familiar – you sign up, add
your exaggeratedly impressive details, a
ten year old photo and your perversions of
choice, and then attempt to hook up with
fellow deviants while out and about.
In years past, the Erotica expo in London attracted large crowds, while knock-off events
elsewhere in the country struggled to find an audience. Things have certainly changed – Erotica
is long gone, a new London event crashed and burned before it even happened and now the
biggest sexpo in Britain is in Manchester. Sexhibition took place for the first time in 2015, and
was successful enough to see it returning this August.
Smartly tying itself to the popular (if all too often soulless) modern burlesque world, Sexhibition
offers ‘shows, performances, music, workshops & classes, cocktails & cuisine and a unique
shopping experience’, according to the press release, between August 19th and 21st.
It seems to us to take all the fun out of
wandering around a murky club, riding
crop in hand, looking for suitably pert
bottoms to spank, but we’re doubtless
just old fashioned stick-in-the-muds. And
if you have to clog down your phone with
pointless apps, then this seems more
useful than most.
www.whiplr.com
And if you can’t wait until then, there’s the semi-regular event Peepshow, which would seem to
be a collision of cabaret and fetish club, promising darker and edgier thrills than its parent event.
And given the date for the first club was Good Friday, you rather hope that it will come with the
added attraction of religious protesters gathered outside to pray for the souls the perverts within.
http://www.sexhibitionexpo.co.uk/
“Tastes Like Tree...”
American cheese just got worse
than it already was
We all know that there are few things in the
world sadder than American cheese, but now
it seems that things are even worse than we
thought. The reason it tastes like wood is
because much of it is, in fact, wood.
US retailer Jewel Osco has pulled Essential
Everyday Parmesan Cheese from its shelves
after finding that it contains huge levels of
cellulose, an anti-clumping agent made from
wood. Yes. Wood. Almost 9% of this ‘cheese’
was actually reconstituted tree. A safe level is
between 2 and 4 per cent.
Other manufacturers like Kraft and Whole
Food have denied that their rubbery excuse
for cheese contains too much cellulose,
though surely ‘any’ would be too high a figure.
More evidence that anyone heading to the
Americas should be sure to stock up on plenty
of extra mature cheddar to take with them.
“I’ve got lots more toys
upstairs...”
The Sinful Dwarf plush toy
Definitely not for children, the new Sinful
Dwarf plush toy from Severin Films might be
the most unlikely bit of film merchandise to
come along for some time.
Inspired by the remarkably squalid 1973 film
of the same name, this eleven inch figure
is based on the character Olaf, a grubby
midget who lures schoolgirls to his home
and then, with the help of his mother, holds
them captive,
hooking them
on heroin
and forcing
them into
prostitution.
See? We
weren’t
exaggerating
when we said
it was squalid.
A worryingly
grotesque
version of the character, the doll even speaks
when you press its belly, spouting dialogue
and unsavoury giggles from the movie (which
Severin have just reissued, uncut, on blu-ray
in the US).
Predictably, the doll sold out almost
immediately, but you might be able to pick one
up at horror conventions in the US or via the
usual collector outlets.
https://severin-films.com/
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