Another Twist in The Tale

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HORLEY ROUND TABLE – 1960’S I did not want to join the Rotary because at my young age people generally joined the Round Table or the Lions. To become a member you had to be sponsored by 2 people and the reason why they wanted me was because membership should officially only be offered to 1 profession or trade at a time, for example 1 fish monger, 1 butcher, 1 transport director etc. I soon found out why they were begging me to apply for membership…… their own catering knowledge was none exist and so they wanted to pick my brains which I was quite willing to accept. It generally took about 3 months to abide by all the rules of membership and we used to meet once a month at a good hotel near Gatwick airport which was then being built. These meetings were supposed to be business meetings but they turned out generally to be a drinking club depending upon the characters who made up the committee. When I joined the committee was really made up of very serious business fellows without any sense of humour or fun whatsoever, but I soon found out that the members who asked me to join were rebels, misfits and guys with fantastic different characters and out for fun as well as doing good for the community. At Christmas time when one of the members would be elected to become Father Christmas, he would be transported around Horley on the back of a lorry and members of the Round Table would stop at various points for 10 minutes to half an hour singing carols whilst tablers knocked on doors collecting money for charities, I was elected to be Father Christmas for one year which was quite an experience especially when we went in the pub afterwards! Our table was generally always trying to organise venues to collect money for various charities. Over the first few years that I was a member my colleague took over as chairman and he stayed there with his new committee for a couple of years with his rebels before the do gooders got in again!! After one of our monthly meetings we decided that we would always go and have night cap at somebody's house and as the driving regulations for drinkers was getting quite strict in those days we used to all try and pile into a couple of cars if we could taking about 12 people to someone's house, which meant the car driver could not drink at our business meeting. One Wednesday night we all trooped out of the cars and walked up to one of my friends John Reids house and when he got to the front door we all burst out laughing hysterically so why? His wife had left the pillow, sheets and blankets in a pile on the front door mat outside in the front garden and of course all the lads took the micky out of this guy because he always made out he was the boss at home which was not quite true!!!! 29
The window suddenly opened and a lady leaned out in her nightdress and screamed “John what time do you think it is, you have got to go to work tomorrow early and it's 3.30 now!!!!!!!” Of course we were roaring with laughter because we were absolutely stoned drunk! Two months went past and it was now my turn to take everybody back to my house, St Audries Cottage, Burstow. We paid £3750 for this lovely cottage which used to belong to the Head Huntsman of the Surrey and Burstow Hunt. On this particular Wednesday night we piled out of the car after opening up the 5 bar gate and guess what happened... All my bed clothes were in a pile in front of the door , I was not a happy bunny surrounded by a mob of unruly tablers all drunk and taking the micky that I was not the boss of my little realm!!!! I decided I had to make a stand but how? I bashed with my fist on the front door, shouting out “Valerie open the door” the result, nothing happened whatsoever and I very quickly decided to hit the door much louder and shout out “unless you open this front door Mrs Riches I'll break it down”, we were all standing there with baited breath and suddenly the door opened, to my surprise, and there was my dear wife having a go at me as the countryside had been disturbed at 2.30 to 3 am by this noisy bunch of tablers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our group decided that maybe we are getting back to late so in the future we decided to make it back a bit earlier for a few drinks. By this time the property I bought in Kingsley Road for £3500 could be sold for £7000, so we put the house on the market to buy St Audries cottage for £6975. 30
Page 2 and 3: PREFACE My name is Derek, I w
Page 4 and 5: INDEX PAGE 7 My Life Experienc
Page 6 and 7: MY LIFE EXPERIENCES BY DEREK R
Page 8 and 9: I remember very clearly as a
Page 10 and 11: DOODLE BUGS During the blitz o
Page 12 and 13: OUR MARRIAGE Valerie and I wer
Page 14 and 15: THE RECEPTION Our reception was
Page 16 and 17: VISITING THE BOSS WHO OWNED TH
Page 18 and 19: DAILY GRIND TO GET TO LONDON
Page 20 and 21: LITTLEWOODS FOOTBALL POOLS In t
Page 22 and 23: The boss was a very old schoo
Page 24 and 25: Half way through the party Ala
Page 26 and 27: ut I was bursting with laughte
Page 30 and 31: OUR PET ALSATIAN NAMED VANDYKE
Page 32 and 33: SON NO. 1 PETER WAS BORN KING
Page 34 and 35: ‘Choose which pile you want
Page 36 and 37: Over a cup of tea we sat dow
Page 38 and 39: THE NEXT STAGE OF THE STORY W
Page 40 and 41: Once the summer holiday period
Page 42 and 43: my spoons to take samples of
Page 44 and 45: ‘THE OVEN’ BAKERY, SELSEY,
Page 46 and 47: that if ever a vacancy arrived
Page 48 and 49: WE PURCHASED A DETACHED 3 BEDR
Page 50 and 51: All the family went to London
Page 52 and 53: will be etc. Your job Mr Rich
Page 54 and 55: However you were compensated by
Page 56 and 57: I soon found out that every m
Page 58 and 59: “now I want your help, we c
Page 60 and 61: John and I decided that day t
Page 62 and 63: The culture in Sri Lanka is v
Page 64 and 65: There were 4 meat hooks on th
Page 66 and 67: got another girlfriend by the
Page 68 and 69: Just to remind you these guest
Page 70 and 71: The mentality of some of the
Page 72 and 73: We went to bed by about midni
Page 74 and 75: traffic lights you can't see t
Page 76 and 77: Little did I know, through Chi
Page 78 and 79:
After approx 3 weeks of not s
Page 80 and 81:
I should have mentioned this e
Page 82 and 83:
My Trip To Italy My trip to
Page 84 and 85:
'You' I soon found out was my
Page 86 and 87:
very strange, why wasn't I sta
Page 88 and 89:
DAR ES SALAAM During my remain
Page 90 and 91:
The background of my work in
Page 92 and 93:
Me, my wife & young family Pe
Page 94 and 95:
BREAKFAST MENU This never chang
Page 96 and 97:
lunch I said to Mr Nazunda I
Page 98 and 99:
now be imprisoned and as you
Page 100 and 101:
I’m laughing now because I’
Page 102 and 103:
We settled in and Peter and J
Page 104 and 105:
ROBBERY AT OUR BEACH BUNGALOW
Page 106 and 107:
THE ROBBERY -‐ PART 2 Afte
Page 108 and 109:
HAPANA LALA Oh yes I must tel
Page 110 and 111:
MY WIFE, VALERIE, RETURNS TO D
Page 112 and 113:
family in an upmarket area in
Page 114 and 115:
3. 1 table spoon full of whisk
Page 116 and 117:
THE DAB CHICK STORY After seei
Page 118 and 119:
DOG BITES LANDLORD! One late a
Page 120 and 121:
RATS IN THE CURTAINS One day
Page 122 and 123:
LEAVING DAR FOR PASTURES NEW I
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Another Twist in The Tale

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