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PAGE 18—SUNDAY VANGUARD, SEPTEMBER 18, 2016 The Patient Wife Gets Her Man At What Cost! IT was a little incident, but it opened the floodgate of nostalgia, I’d arrived late at a wedding reception and was ushered to what looked like the high table. The groom’s mother is a close friend. I sensed rather than saw this look of disapproval burning into my scalp. I turned, and there she was - Dolapo’s wife. I held her gaze and gave as much hostility as she emitted. She promptly looked away. How long ago was it? Over 20 years at least. I’d met Dolapo on a flight from abroad when he wangled his way to the empty seat by my side in first class. Those were the good old days! The goodies I didn’t want jostled about in the haul was deliberately perched on the empty seat next to mine. I had to shift for Dolapo to sit down. It later expired that the seat was booked in his assistant’s name but he quickly nudged the poor man towards his own seat so he could sit next to me. I wasn’t really interested in what he had to say. Someone else had treated me to this holiday and I’d had fun. Then I noticed he was a picky eater. First, he didn’t touch the individual pot of caviar that was served with the starter. Then the lobster in his main dish was left untouched. “I’m allergic to sea food,” he whined. Deftyly, I scooped the lobster on to my plate and retrieved the pot of caviar. “That moment you stole my food,” Dolapo later boasted, “I knew I would get my pound of flesh!” And he was a very easy person to love. In spite of his position, he conducted our affair as if he were single. Our social outings were very public and once or twice, his private driver had hinted I should ask him to be a bit careful, that whenever he sent him to mine, it was always within ear- short of the poor wife. What exactly was I supposed to do? From the little he told me, his marriage obviously wasn’t up to much. What was more, I was almost divorced, I had no irate husband to worry about. We were together every opportunity we had and the man’s appetite for sex was insatiable! It was as if he couldn’t have enough of me. Even when we were apart, I had one of these cordless phones with a very wide range as mobiles weren’t in vogue then. I took the phone everywhere I went and became a laughing stock with my friends. Still, Dolapo’s wife’s ghost was always there. I saw both of them together a few times in the dailies and she fitted my image of a dull, frumpy wife. Even the wig she always had on looked like a badly used mop. I was never a frumpy dresser and for him, I pushed the boat out a bit - wearing really flattering gears any time we were together. And he often spent the night too - his martyr of a wife never questioned him and they had separate bedrooms. Within months, I had a stack of romantically crafted letters and cards. Our torried affair went on for close to two years when wifey struck through a phone call. She sneered over the phone I wouldn’t be the first and I definitely wouldn’t be the last. I simply hung up on her and called Dolapo immediately to ask where she got my number from. He had no idea but that didn’t stop her from calling again. I simply ignored her. Then came the day I’d sneaked off to a party - which was a rarity since I met Dolapo - and she was on the phone at least 12 times as I checked my missed calls when I got home. “Shouldn’t you be in bed instead of harassing innocent citizens?: I spat down the phone. She unleashed a string of expletives. My last laugh is going to be the sweetest’, she yelled. ‘Your husband doesn’t love you: I told her. “Where is your self-respect’. ‘Well, I’m here and you’re still on your own, a mere mistress: she replied smugly and slammed down the phone. She later told Dolapo she’d discovered my phone number via an anonymous call she’d received. The caller said ‘your husband’s f***ing a woman called candy. If you don’t believe me, call this number and talk to her.’ She already knew who I was, so the number really helped. I had no idea who could have done a thing like that. One of my so-called friends? A friend of his? Yet in spite of all this, they still lived together, four children between them. As she’d rightly predicted though, things started falling apart. Dolapo wasn’t as besotted as he once was and guess who called to find out if I knew Dolapo had gotten someone else pregnant? The wife! I told her she was lying. ‘Why don’t you ask him yourself?’ she challenged. ‘He just brought the tramp to the house to be introduced to the family as his second wife.’ She gave me a name. I called Dolapo immediately and he told me he was sick and tired of me not being totally divorced from my husband. That technically, I was still married and it would be foolish for a man in his position to keep on latching into a married woman. I was stunned. If I’d expected this kind of brush-off, I would have been prepared for it. Could a man who showed so much passion be this fickle? I didn’t see him again until years after. He’d come to apologise, he said. His new ‘wife’ had been sent packing after she’d been caught a couple of times with other men, mostly his friends. Apology accepted, I told him. Minutes later, my flavour-of-themoment walked in. They were both shocked to see each other because they worked with the same establishment. Only he held a position senior to Dolapo’s and Dolapo had to leave. It was a really sad experience as I felt absolutely nothing for him. All that passion that almost destroyed us both, where did it go? It was a triumph of sort to see his humiliation. And now his long suffering wife was scowling at me? Just how low should a woman get to keep a floundering marriage?! 08052201867(Text Only) You work and play better with exercise THE ability to meet the demands of work and play is what I term being fit. And nothing enhances that ability better than proper exercise whose components include deep breathing, relaxed movements and mental concentration. Proper exercise will overhaul, rejuvenate and balance the entire body. If your work-a-day life leaves you feeling too tired for any enthusiasm for other things in your life you can do something about the situation. How do you do this? Firstly, take a good look at your habits. Are you eating foods that over-tax your energies because they take ages to digest? Have you been staying away from exercising to the point where your body has lost the tone nature intended it to have? There can not be much energy at your disposal if you’re guilty of these two. And, remember, living means the expression of energy in a positive way and abundantly. To dream dreams and not have the drive to turn those dreams into reality must be a most unfulfilling life. But all that can be changed if you resolve firmly to take proper charge of your body. I think the proof of the workability of exercise in my own self and in those I have taught spurs me on. We all need a bit of exercise everyday. Some twenty to thirty years ago doctors were prohibiting some patients, such as those with heart conditions, from exercising. Now, for those same conditions doctors are prescribing exercise. Activity is never part of the problem of good health. It’s insufficient activity in our lives that wrecks our bodies. Bear this in mind always. It will help you not to get into temptation not to exercise. Talking discipline, you only can invoke it in yourself. The next person can only inspire you. Try these flexibility postures. THE HEELS-TO-CROTCH *Heels-To-Crotch Posture Technique: Sit down with the legs stretched in front of you. Now, bend one leg placing the bent leg on the floor with the heel close to the crotch as much as possible. Do the same with the next leg. Now you should have both soles of the feet touching and begin to lower both legs till the knees are either on the floor or very close with the hands holding down the feet. Note: A warm-up to this posture is to flop the legs up and down at the knees like the wings of a bird in flight. Breathe normally holding down the feet for 10 or 15 seconds. Rest and repeat. Benefits: Both deep and superficial muscles of the inner thighs are intensely stretched, toning muscles and ligaments of the pelvis and encouraging the health of the whole pelvic area. There’s improved blood circulation to the back and abdomen benefitting the kidneys and bladder and helping to deal with urinary disorders. A daily practice of this posture is said to hinder the onset of varicose veins and to reduce the * The Spread Eagle Yoga Classes STARTED Physical Therapy Centre @ 32 Adetokumbo Ademola, Victoria Island Lagos. 10.00am — 11.00am on Saturdays harshness of labour pains. It helps check nocturnal emissions and increases manly vigour. THE SPREAD EAGLE Technique: Sit down with the feet stretched out in front. With the help of the hands, spread the legs as far apart as you can manage. Clutch the shins and, holding the trunk neck and head in a straight line, breathe slowly but deeply. Retain the position for as long as comfortable. Rest awhile and repeat. Benefits: The spread eagle tones up the muscles of the inner thighs and helps with the health of the pelvic region.
SUNDAY VANGUARD, SEPTEMBER 18, 2016, PAGE 19 bunmsof@yahoo.co.uk 08056180152, SMS only Why Sugar Could Be Eight Times More Addictive Than Cocaine! DOES the thought of living life sugar-free fill you with horror? If so, you may unknowingly be addicted. In fact, sugar is believed to be eight times more addictive than cocaine. Some people are more sensitive than others, but the more sugar you eat, the more likely it has taken hold of your addictive pathways and is driving you to eat - and drink - far too much. When sugar hits the bloodstream, it stimulates release of a brain chemical called dopamine, which makes you feel good. The feeling is usually shortlived. By the time you’re licking the chocolate off your fingertips or picking the last crumbs of biscuit from the plate, your dopamine levels will probably have fallen, taking you into a miniwithdrawal. This can trigger cravings for more sugar, urging you, against your better judgement, to pick up another biscuit or break off another square of chocolate so your brain can have another hit of dopamine. Before long, the biological signals that would normally control hunger and satiety (fullness) are swiftly being overwhelmed by this dopamine stimulation, to the point where your body (and brain) starts listening only to sugar’s cues and ignores the fact that you have already eaten far more than you need. If you have even the mildest addiction to sugar, there is every chance that your ‘off’ switch no longer works properly in response to eating, either. That’s why one biscuit or scoop of ice-cream never seems like enough, even after a huge meal. The more sugar you eat, the more your tolerance adapts, so you end up needing more and more sugar to get the same boost - drug addicts and alcoholics experience the same cycle. QUIZ: ARE YOU A SUGAR ADDICT? ANSWER honestly yes or no to the following questions ... *CAN YOU eat sweet, starchy or fatty foods until you are over- full? *DO YOU feel hungry even after eating a full meal *CAN YOU eat large quantities of sweets or stodgy foods even when you’re not feeling particularly hungry? *DO YOU ever feel ashamed (self-loathing, disgusted or depressed) about your eating habits? *DO YOU ever turn to sugar when you are feeling down or upset? *WHEN things are bad, do you find you need more and more sweet foods to feel better? *DO YOU plan to eat a small portion (such as one biscuit), but end up binge-eating (demolishing the whole packet)? *DO YOU find starchy, sweet or fatty foods the most difficult to cut back on? *DO YOU find it difficult to stop once you start eating starches, snack foods, junk foods or sweets? *ARE your eating habits having an impact on your social life, work or physical abilities? *DO YOU find it impossible to stick to healthy-eating resolutions? *DO YOU feel you need to (have to) have something sweet after lunch or dinner? *DO YOU eat sweets and chocolates secretly and hide the wrappers because you don’t want anyone to know? *IF YOU cut yourself one piece of cake, do you then find yourself coming back for more and more? *DO YOU get a foggy head after big meals (or mid-afternoon)? IF YOU answered ‘yes’ to five or more of these questions, you could be a sugar addict. This means that understanding what to eat and how much to eat is only part of the story. Your relationship with food may be stuck in a destructive pattern. Perhaps you comfort eat or binge. Perhaps sugar (including processed carbs and junk food) fills a greater void in your life than just satisfying a physical craving Sugar addiction is far more common than you might think. It often triggers a compulsive pursuit of foods rich in sugar and carbohydrates in response to both positive (‘let’s all celebrate with cake!) and negative (‘only chocolate will make me happy’) feelings. But quitting sugar is the nutritional reset that will enable you to break the cycle of reliance and addiction. AVOID SWEETNERS ALTHOUGH artificial sweeteners can confuse your system. and make it tougher to quit sugar, if you rely on them longterm (they can ‘feed’ your sweet tooth and spark sugar and carb cravings], on occasion they can make the change to a sugar-free life easier. So avoid aspartame, Splenda and Canderel, don’t touch diet drinks and only use more natural sweeteners such as stevia and xylitol. If, however, after two or three weeks on your LCHF programme, you are still feeling hungry or noticing sugar cravings, then sweeteners could be to blame, so gradually reduce your intake. ANY WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS? YOU may experience slight physical discomfort, such as a headache, or cravings for sugar and carbs, but stick with the plan - this will pass. After a few days, you should notice improved physical wellbeing, less bloating, a clearer head, increased energy and improved mood. EXTRACTED from Sugar Free: 8 Weeks To Freedom From Sugar And Carb Addiction, by Karen Thomson. Stranger Than Fiction (Humour} A woman who had just taken a lease on a unit near the railway line rang the estate agent to complain that passing trains rocked her bed so much she was in fear of falling out of it. The agent came round. “But it’s so quiet,” he said, “I can’t believe that passing trains rock the bed”. “Shakes the living daylight out of me,” she persisted, looking at her watch. She heard a distant train whistle. “Here’s the five-thirty-five’, lie down on the bed yourself,” and she climbed on to the other side. That’s when her husband came in. “What do you think you’re doing?” he roared, glaring at the estate agent. “Would you believe waiting for a train?,” he ventured. YOUR column to express your loving thoughts in words to your sweetheart. Don’t be shy. Let it flow and let him or her know how dearly you feel. Write now in not more than 75 words to: The Editor, <strong>Sunday</strong> Vanguard, P.M.B. 1007, Apapa, Lagos. E.mail: sunlovenotes@yahoo.com Please mark your envelope: “LOVE NOTES" Three needs of lovers A hug shows lovers allegiance to each other; a kiss measures the depth of their love while SEX binds. We need all. Akegh U Jacob 08186915871, jakegh15@gmail.com Sapele, Delta State. Overlook differences The secret of a good relationship is to overlook differences and embrace imperfection. Onyekaonwu Harrison, harrison.onyekaonwu@yahoo.com 08064888266/ 09097691852 I Missed you I am not a poet but I know unsaid words have no value. I greet your absence these days and just to let the whole world know how that feels I am writing this. I am trying not to sound like a cry for help but here it goes. I can’t forget you. I will always love you. Prince Johnson shunkul@yahoo.com 09052570138
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Sunday 18092016

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