FacingRacismLR

Good
Tonikia Steans’ story by Anna Groover
Tonikia is 41 years old.
I was born and raised here in Muncie, Indiana, and it has been my foundation for
most of my life.
I’m a licensed insurance agent and a certified life coach.
The way I was raised wasn’t black or white, it was individuality. Racism was
never really a topic of discussion growing up because we have all nationalities in
our family. I’m a black American.
My grandparents felt that white people were superior to black people. My
grandfather would always tell me, “You always are going to have to work for the
white man. You always have to work for someone white.” I was just like, why do
you always say that? Because I always wanted to run my own business. And he
always said, “You will never run your own business. You will always work for
somebody white.” That always rubbed me the wrong way, because it’s just not true.
I had a job when I got out of high school at a chair factory. There were people
there who didn’t take too kindly to black people, I remember. I can walk into a
room and get along with anybody, but that was the first time I was faced with
someone who didn’t like me because of my skin color. I moved up to supervisor,
and some of the girls didn’t like that too well because they didn’t move up. I never
thought it was because of anything other than my work ethic that got me moved
up. I don’t remember any words, it was so long ago, but I just know the treatment
and the shortness and how they acted toward me.
For me, racism is subtle things that you realize but can overlook, like being passed
up for certain positions or told that you’re not ready for a position when you have
way more qualifications than someone else who gets the job. Or being told amongst
white counterparts that I’m the whitest black person they know because of the way
I talk and act—as if being intelligent is only a white thing. Truthfully, I’ve never
used race as a reason to say that I’ve been hurt or shunned. I’ve never looked at it
like that, because I’ve always tried to see the bigger picture. If there’s something I
want to do, I’m capable of it and I have just as much right to do it as anyone else.
Sometimes, people tell me to “calm down.” I am calm. Do you want me to
whisper? You know, like black women have attitudes or they’re going to get all
snippity-snappity. I’m the only black person at my job, and I think that makes a
big difference. At work, for instance, there’s a white girl there who is really out of
control. She yells at people, she confronts people, the whole nine.She gets away
with murder, and I don’t even think they realize it. But if I say something back, I
need to be talked to. Not only that, but I had to have HR come in and talk to me
and ask me if I felt like I had self-control.
I did have a lady one time who called in because her daughter, my client, was
stuck on the highway. Her daughter and I had a really good customer-service agent
relationship. Anyway, her mom called me, so I said, “Okay, let me see what I can do
to help,” and she just started yelling at me for no reason and even used racial slurs
against me. At that point, I was just like, “Okay, ma’am, I was trying to help you
here.” I still tried to help her. Later, I got to talk to her daughter. I told her what had
happened, and she said, “I cannot believe she talked to you like that because my
child is black.” She has a black grandchild, and for her to say something like that…
it’s devastating. It shook me up a little bit, because there’s no reason for that.
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