The Good Life – March-April 2017

off our house… and in one specific way. Those
perfectly matching tables have one fatal flaw—
they’re not six feet off the ground. Which is
normal. They’re normal tables. With normal
things on them. For normal people. But
toddlers are not normal people.
As such, the new definition of perfection in
our house is “a realistic expectation to be able
to sit for more than one minute before having
to get up and move something up and out of
Mack’s reach.” You’d think as a stay-at-home
dad who spends most all day playing this game
that eventually I’d win, or at least get a glimpse
of the final move. Nope. Honestly, I think the
only way to win this game would be to move
and start fresh.
Kitchen Dowel Rods
One challenge to the “Raise & Save” game
showed itself early on: shelf space. We do not
have an abundance of shelving in our house, so
we quickly depleted all the easy moves. (Plus,
just because something is out of arm’s reach by
no means makes it out of site, and that game…
let’s just say that game has no winners.)
You also can’t take the entire lower half of
your kitchen and move it up, at least not easily.
Securing the cabinets was simple enough with
your standard kid-proofing gear, but I had to
get a little DIY when it came to the drawers.
One dowel rod placed vertically down through
a row of drawer handles joins them together
into one, child-proof mega-drawer. So along
with essentials like measuring cups, extra
garbage bags and assorted can koozies, you’ll
also find a few dowel rods in our kitchen should
you ever need to… um, dowel something.
They don’t match the rest of our decor in
any way, but they cost $0.98 a piece and do
a fine job of keeping Mack out of my koozie
collection. The rods also do a great job of
destroying the finish on the drawers, ensuring
a future kitchen remodel. You’re welcome,
Dear!
A lot has changed in a short amount of time.
I can only imagine what it must be like for
Macklin, for whom everything is not only
changing, but everything is new. It’ll be
a long time before he understands why I
locked up the good filet knives behind a
dowel rod immediately after he discovered
them. But one day, I hope he’ll shake my hand
—with all five fingers—and say thank you. •
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