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down to the hospital to chat<br />
with her and bring her a pillow<br />
and blanket. I remember I was<br />
dressed real suave that day,<br />
and I think this nurse had her<br />
eye on me. She was awful<br />
kittenish. But . . . hell . . .<br />
well . . . maybe it wasn’t an<br />
amorous eye . . . maybe it was<br />
a watchful one . . . as if, “Jesus,<br />
this guy belongs in here too.”<br />
I won’t go all soppy poofterish<br />
on the beauty of how nice it is<br />
to leave a place when the poor<br />
other bastards can’t. But<br />
that’s freedom! And I don’t<br />
mind going to psyche wards if<br />
can leave at will. I actually<br />
enjoy it. I’d return to Bess’s<br />
condo and my three pussy<br />
cats, and I’d get more twisted<br />
and the next day a call would<br />
come from Bess. I was on pills<br />
that I had no idea what they<br />
were . . . by now I had a system<br />
and a color code for what pills<br />
took me up . . . which pills took<br />
me down . . . and which pills
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