you're cold and I burn (on hold)

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“Course I am, I just need a steady source of income to keep my flat, y’know? I can’t just rely on my paintings, it’s just not working out for me.” “The talent is there, for sure, but I agree, backup plan never hurt ya, plus you might actually like it.” Niall has always been so supportive, he has a painting of Louis’ hung up in his house, the one he painted for Niall’s birthday. He claims that it makes him look more ‘cultured’ <strong>and</strong> it makes Louis laugh every time. With the applications knocked out, Louis only had one more thing he wanted to do before heading back to the flat. He half debates asking Niall to tag along, but he’s sure that Niall would rather walk into traffic <strong>and</strong> they’d been out for a few hours now so he’s probably bored anyway. He walks Niall back to the truck, thankful that he’s not going to have to try <strong>and</strong> climb into that thing when he’s already missing most of his energy. Louis want’s to go pick out the new fuchsia decorations for the flat, <strong>and</strong> the shop he normally goes to is only about a twenty minute walk <strong>and</strong> he could use some time to be alone <strong>and</strong> stop thinking about everything. He’s just going to focus on this color <strong>and</strong> the pretty things he can use to bring the theme to life. When Niall leaves, Louis can hear his truck for another mile before the engine is muffled by the chatter of lively people. He’s been coming to this shop since he’s moved into his flat, <strong>and</strong> the cashier knows him by name, it’s like another home. One that always empties his wallet but makes his heart heavy, so. His pace is steady the whole way there, <strong>and</strong> the more time that’s put between now <strong>and</strong> this morning, the easier it is to ignore it all together, though the task is still daunting. Walking through the small glass door is like crossing over into a different world. Of course, the variety is wide <strong>and</strong> it brings a grin to Louis’ face in no time at all. He could spend thous<strong>and</strong>s in this store, easily. It’s all full of different things. Dish sets, curtains, c<strong>and</strong>les, pictures, frames, flowers, laundry baskets, waste bins. Even has a full section for lotions <strong>and</strong> body washes. It’s like Bed Bath <strong>and</strong> Beyond on steroids, is the best way to describe it. He falls more <strong>and</strong> more in love every time he comes, so he wastes no time selecting a cart <strong>and</strong> strolling the isles. He can already tell he’s going to love the way this lights up the flat, <strong>and</strong> the feel it’ll put off. Maybe it’ll change Harry’s mood <strong>and</strong> he’ll suddenly be polite <strong>and</strong> unproblematic. But colors are interpretations not miracle workers, so he doesn’t dwell on the thought for more than a mere second. And even then it’s a mere second too long. As he picks up items from the shelves, watching the cart fill up <strong>and</strong> pushing the guilt to the back of his mind, he tries to forget everything that happened this morning. He tries to forget the <strong>burn</strong>ing he felt <strong>and</strong> he’s trying to pretend like he wasn’t actually intrigued by the way he reacted. Because still, what the fuck was that all about? Anyway, he really doesn’t have the money for this, but happiness carries no price tag, so it’s whatever. Plus, he’s got some financial help now, so he doesn’t need to stress so much, right? That’s most likely a lie he’s telling himself so that he’ll feel better about the whole situation, but to each their own. He’s always catching himself wondering why he feels the desire to constantly rearrange his flat based on the color he likes best that week, but he just does. And at first it was simple, it was changing up the towels <strong>and</strong> h<strong>and</strong> soaps in the bathroom. Then it extended to getting new bedsheets <strong>and</strong> curtains. And before he knew it, his entire flat was decorated, each individual room laced <strong>and</strong> covered in the pretty color <strong>and</strong> it was overwhelming. It was the most amazing feeling, his escape. When he was stressed, it seemed to dissolve the moment he walked through his front door. He plans to do this till the day he dies, because life is bl<strong>and</strong> <strong>and</strong> black <strong>and</strong> white if you don’t allow yourself to feel the way each shade carries a different ambiance. He never makes a list of the colors he plans to use, because they always come on a whim. He could be walking home <strong>and</strong>, boom, inspiration. Or he could be on the tube, in the grocery store (which is very rare, granted.) He could even be relaxing on his back deck with a cup of tea <strong>and</strong>
it’ll hit from nowhere. Well, he hopes that Harry likes fuchsia, because it’s going to be very prevalent for just a while.
Page 1 and 2: Posted originally on the Archive of
Page 3 and 4: evident on Louis’ face as he scro
Page 5 and 6: And fuck, Louis was such a bad stud
Page 7 and 8: “Not quite, plus that would be a
Page 9 and 10: grace period to see if that helps a
Page 11 and 12: Two It’s the most repulsive admis
Page 13 and 14: He misses it, having a car. Being a
Page 15 and 16: with him and suppo
Page 17 and 18: the natural curves. There’s a mea
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Page 21 and 22: guess you’ll just have to trust m
Page 23 and 24: ed with a dramatic huff, his hair s
Page 25 and 26: Harry’s door like an absolute cre
Page 27 and 28: his head. About ten minutes later t
Page 29: esponding. “Well, it’ll get bet
Page 33 and 34: understanding his
Page 35 and 36: “It was lavender, and</st
Page 37 and 38: “As much as I’d love to go to t
Page 39 and 40: it’s definitely getting up there,
Page 41 and 42: “Why?” “Because I wanted to g
Page 43 and 44: The tasteless cupcake is shoveled d
Page 45 and 46: he sees the light pouring in from t
Page 47 and 48: nauseous. Louis’ watching him fro
Page 49 and 50: *** The storm wages on, turning out
Page 51 and 52: (I highly suggest) Thanks for readi
Page 53 and 54: knowing that if the smallest sounds
Page 55 and 56: the corner. His hair is drenched to
Page 57 and 58: Who else was going to protect you f
Page 59 and 60: “My advice is to just keep talkin
Page 61 and 62: Chapter 7 Chapter Summary Louis fin
Page 63 and 64: “You’re wrong, I actually don
Page 65 and 66: even be home. They all spend some m
Page 67 and 68: comfortable. “It’s not,” Nial
Page 69 and 70: “You got that from nervous jitter
Page 71 and 72: Chapter 8 Chapter Notes See the end
Page 73 and 74: “I’ll respect you when you act
Page 75 and 76: always been this way.” Harry’s
Page 77 and 78: sweet smell of hazelnut will bright
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Chapter 9 Chapter Summary Louis los
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That answer isn’t good enough, <s
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move, “..Mmm, heart, made me want
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Louis’ going to pretend it had no
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was against it, he wouldn’t have
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Chapter 10 Chapter Summary
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“Uhm,” He coughs, looking to th
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ought up. It could live on in the w
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His and Harry’s
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“Forecast said heavy rain for ton
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Chapter 11 Chapter Summary a few mo
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are never a rarity. “I was just t
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“I’ll wait for this to finish i
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Harry’s lips continue, all the wa
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***** “Y’know, sometimes it see
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also message me on twitter @curlsba
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you're cold and I burn (on hold)

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