Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 313 – April 26, 2017

I’ve been to enough bogus
charity events in my life, and I
don’t want my name on some
bullshit where you’re just
ripping people off. So we’re
going to raise some nice
money, the talent is working
for free, and I like the idea of
me reaping what I have sown.
They’re calling it, “Fork On
The Left, Knife In The Back”,
which is the name of one of
my books. I suggested, “He
had it coming”, because I’ve
trashed a lot of people, I’ve
stirred up some ill-will in my
day, and now is a chance for
people to vent back at me....
however, in an affectionate
way. When I grew up, ribbing
each other was a term of
endearment. You only put
somebody down if you cared
about them. Even Bianca
Del Rio, who is one of my
roasters, doesn’t just read
anybody. She has to think
you’re worthy.
Exactly.
Thats how I feel. I’ve
assembled people that I
love, to come and rip me
a new one! Somehow that
translates into more love. At
least that’s what I’m telling
myself. I’m thinking of sitting
there with ear plugs on. I
don’t want my feelings hurt.
I’ll just keep saying, “It’s for
charity, it’s for charity”.
Whom do you fear the
most?
Bianca Del Rio. Come on....I
feel like I got a taste of it
because I was one of the
roasters at Bianca’s roast.
Each roaster, roasted the
whole panel before they
got to Bianca. Then Bianca
came out and roasted the
whole panel, so I already had
a taste of her venom. It was
delicious, but scary.
Your celebrity line-up is
larger and more impressive
than Joan Rivers’ roast.
I wish I had Joan Rivers.
Do you expect them to be
brutal?
I asked around and 90% of
them said yes.
They probably couldn’t wait
to volunteer.
They were lining up,
chomping at the bit.
Maybe you should
have some audience
participation?
It would go on all night.
Rosie O’Donnell said she
would like to start off the
night by talking about the
charity, and I thought that
was lovely and very positive.
Then Bruce Vilanch I asked,
“out of the blue, you
wouldn’t be in New York
to MC this?” Obviously, he
would be the ultimate MC
for such a thing because he’s
the most hilarious joke writer
and performer there is. He’s
a famous comedy writer who
also appeared on Broadway
in “Hairspray”. There is a
great documentary about
him. He’s a legend in this
business. He actually
arranged his schedule
so he’d be in New York
to do this, and that was
astounding.
Oh, he probably
couldn’t wait!
A lot of people are very
excited to attack me.
Jinkx Monsoon is on
board. We have a history, I
was in her video. I’ve always
loved her vaudeville shows.
Orfeh is a friend of mine, so
she really knows me. She’s
not going to be pretending.
Michael Urie really knows
me. He knows how needy,
twisted and boring I am.
He asked, “How far can we
go”? I said, “Well, I don’t
want real hurt feelings”,
but I don’t want to censor
people. I actually wrote
a couple of jokes for
people. I’m writing how old,
hideous, and such a hasbeen
I am. I’m handing it to
them on a plate.
What do you think is your
best flaw...or your worst?
Wow...where do we start?
I’m deeply neurotic, I keep
repeating things in my mind,
sometimes self punishing,
where I blame
myself for things I allegedly
did wrong, even though
I’m basically successful and
made incredible decisions
and did the right thing. I will
never give myself credit for
that. I’ll always kick myself
for the one time I feel that I
miss-stepped.
Tickets at broadwayroast.com