Storyline Summer 2017

13
could have my application sent in within the week; instead
it took us over 2 months to get everything in place to
apply.
We weren’t prepared to live on a single income, so I
poured my time into creating budgets and plans to help
us succeed. Once I had the plan in place, a little bit of
comfort returned. I thought I had gained some control
again. But I began to struggle with feelings of anxiety and
believed I was a burden. I felt responsible so I started
slicing the budget in areas where we needed money,
like our groceries. As our groceries became cheaper and
cheaper, our food became lower quality but it was “my
sacrifice.” However, when you live with celiac disease
there are major consequences to eating things you
shouldn’t and so on came my sickness. Three months of
constantly being sick and unable to leave the house for
long meant I lost weight, I had no energy, and mentally I
hit a low. Austin and I couldn’t get through a day without
me upset at him. I blamed him for the state of where I
was physically, emotionally, mentally. My
self-worth had vanished. I was convinced
nobody knew how I felt and honestly, I
think people couldn’t handle how I felt.
Everyone around me was in a land of
comfort and security, yet I couldn’t get
through a day of wondering if my next
visitor visa would be approved, or if my
residency would come through, when I
would be able to work again … The list
goes on.
I could tell you endless amounts of things I went through
to tear down my walls of control and comfort. When I
finally hit the bottom, I cried out to God and my burden
became lighter. Austin and I went away for a week and
we began praying that my visa would come in. But we
began to realize that wasn’t our prayer; our prayer was
that we would trust God in the circumstances, that we
would let Him be our provider. We began to look back on
the things that had happened and see God’s hand in it all.
A GST return we weren’t expecting to help with groceries
… Grandparents giving us a late wedding gift to get away
for awhile when things were unbearable … God provided
for our needs; He never abandoned us. But He did give us
trials, lots of trials. In that week I had to finally give up my
last ounces of control, fully surrender, and humble myself.
We trusted God with what was to come.
We got home refreshed and ready to continue our time
of unknowns. I remember it was dark outside and Austin
decided to get the mail. He came around the corner,
Our prayer was that
we would trust God in
the circumstances, that
we would let Him be our
provider.
looking at me in disbelief, with a single brown envelope
in his hands. “I think it’s here,” he said. As we opened
the letter shock fell over us. It wasn’t permanent
residency, but it was my work visa. God works in
mysterious ways. He brought me on a long road to
surrender my control and when I finally did He gave
me just enough to have a sense of normalcy again.
But even the next steps were predetermined by God.
Within the week I was offered a job at First Alliance to
cover a one-year maternity leave. Shortly thereafter
the Syrian Refugee Crisis hit the news. I was providing
admin support for Pat Worsley, who oversees our
refugee ministry. Daily, I answered phone calls from
people desperate to have their stories heard. I wasn’t
uncomfortable anymore. I listened, I felt their pain, and
I told them it wasn’t fair. My empathy for these people
was so strong, and God stirred my heart for them so
vividly. I would go home and be driven to pray for them
in the same way God drove me to pray for him to take
my burden of permanent residency. I
knew I couldn’t do anything for these
people in a task-driven way. God had
been equipping me and preparing
me to share hope and love with the
broken and hopeless.
I grew immensely through these
phone calls and listening to people’s
stories. Months after things slowed down, I woke up
from a repetitive dream where I audibly heard the
name of one of the women I used to talk to on the
phone. The Holy Spirit pushed me to call her to see
how she was doing. I am so thankful for this boldness
that the Holy Spirit gave me! I know that if I hadn’t
gone through the trials I did, I would have never called
her to see how she was doing. I called her on a day
when all hope was gone and she wanted to give up.
Hearing that and now gaining an amazing friendship
with her has made my trials worth it. Austin and I are
now co-sponsors to have her sister come to Canada
as a refugee and we are on a journey with her and her
family. There are days where I am uneasy because
there is no task for me to help with, but I am gently
reminded to listen to her, to pray for her, and to pray
for God to direct the application. Sometimes all we can
do is listen and pray.
This is just the journey of one of the many applications
we as a church are applying for and I challenge you to
pray diligently for the ministry of refugee sponsorship.
It is a long, dark, and painful journey for so many. •