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U.S. Open (Golf) Fan Guide 2015

A fan guide to the U.S. Open at Chambers Bay (University Place, Wash.) in 2015. An extended version of The News Tribune's weekly Go section.

A fan guide to the U.S. Open at Chambers Bay (University Place, Wash.) in 2015. An extended version of The News Tribune's weekly Go section.

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38<br />

>>MOVIES<br />

TOP-GROSSING FILMS 1. “Spy,” $29.1 million 2. “San Andreas,” $25.8 million 3. “Insidious: Chapter 3,” $22.7 million<br />

Source: rottentomatoes.com<br />

Return to ‘Jurassic’ is a well-worn path<br />

Absurd plot and stupid<br />

character actions result in<br />

unintended laughs<br />

Friday, June 12, <strong>2015</strong> • Thenewstribune.com/Entertainment<br />

BY SOREN ANDERSEN<br />

Staff writer<br />

Shhhh! It’s the Raptor<br />

Whisperer.<br />

It’s Chris Pratt, playing a guy<br />

named Owen, gazing deep into the<br />

reptilian peepers of a bunch of<br />

snarling Velociraptors, controlling<br />

them with a kind of mind meld in<br />

“Jurassic World.” Impressive, yes?<br />

Uh, no. Silly, is more like it.<br />

Gesturing hypnotically, Pratt …<br />

Sorry. Must wait for giggles to<br />

subside.<br />

Welcome to “Jurassic World,” by<br />

far the funniest “Jurassic” picture<br />

ever unleashed by Steven<br />

Spielberg.<br />

That’s not by overall design,<br />

though there are morsels of<br />

intentional humor scattered<br />

throughout the picture. One of the<br />

funnier of those is the Pratt<br />

character’s mocking reference to<br />

the “ridiculous shoes,” worn by<br />

co-star Bryce Dallas Howard’s<br />

character, a well turned-out<br />

corporate higher-up. They’re<br />

spiky-heeled numbers not<br />

well-suited to outrunning a wide<br />

assortment of computer-generated<br />

prehistoric beasties.<br />

For the rest, absurdity of<br />

plotting meets stupidity of<br />

character actions and the result is<br />

lots of unintended laughs.<br />

Jeff Goldblum’s sardonic<br />

scientist Ian Malcolm isn’t in<br />

“Jurassic World,” but his best line<br />

from “The Lost World: Jurassic<br />

Park” sums up this latest iteration:<br />

“ ‘Oooh! Aaah!’ That’s how it<br />

always starts. Then later there’s<br />

running … and screaming.”<br />

Oooh! Lookie there! Little kids<br />

riding tame Triceratopses. So cute.<br />

And aah! Feeding time at the<br />

zoo, featuring a humongous<br />

aquatic whatsis leaping up out of a<br />

park pool to gulp down the<br />

dangling carcass of a great white<br />

shark (we’re nodding at you,<br />

“Jaws”) while spectators yelp.<br />

Then later … Dinos out of<br />

control! Panicked park visitors<br />

dive-bombed by long-beaked<br />

The dinosaurs go out of control again in “Jurassic World.”<br />

JURASSIC WORLD<br />

½ out of 5<br />

Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas<br />

Howard<br />

Director: Colin Trevorrow<br />

Running time: 2:05<br />

Rated: PG-13, for intense<br />

sequences of science-fiction<br />

violence and peril.<br />

Pteranodons. Gun-toting security<br />

guys gobbled by a giant<br />

monstrosaur. Everybody run. And<br />

scream.<br />

“World,” which Spielberg<br />

executive produced but did not<br />

direct (Colin Trevorrow, a relative<br />

unknown, sat in the director’s<br />

chair and shares screenplay credit<br />

with a gaggle of other writers),<br />

returns to Isla Nublar, home of the<br />

original “Jurassic.” There, the<br />

tourist attraction dreamed up by<br />

the late mogul John Hammond<br />

has, despite its fatality-strewn<br />

origins, been open for years. It’s a<br />

big draw, but attendance figures<br />

have been trending down because,<br />

as a corporate honcho observes,<br />

“no one is impressed with<br />

dinosaurs anymore.” So they’ve<br />

sunk multimillions into creating a<br />

genetic hybrid to goose<br />

attendance. Its design guiding<br />

principle is summed up thusly:<br />

“Bigger. Louder. More teeth.”<br />

In “Jaws”-like fashion,<br />

Trevorrow teases the audience<br />

with brief partial glimpses of the<br />

monster early on. Jungle trees<br />

shake ominously. A big eye peers<br />

through the foliage.<br />

Finally comes the Big Reveal.<br />

And seeing it, one feels a great big<br />

sense of … eh. Is that all there is?<br />

Park on-site staff<br />

member Owen<br />

(Chris Pratt)<br />

studies<br />

Velociraptors in<br />

“Jurassic World.”<br />

Nothing special here.<br />

There’s nothing special about<br />

Trevorrow’s plotting either. From<br />

the original “Jurassic,” he’s cribbed<br />

the story device of putting two<br />

young siblings — two brothers this<br />

time (Ty Simpkins and Nick<br />

Robinson) rather than the brother<br />

and sister of the original — in<br />

mortal peril by dispatching them<br />

into the park in, not a Jeep but<br />

rather a plastic rolling globe. It’s<br />

child endangerment time, as the<br />

monster plays dino soccer with the<br />

conveyance while the kids shriek.<br />

Pratt’s character, a rough-edged<br />

park staff member, and Bryce<br />

Dallas Howard, along with Pratt’s<br />

Photos courtesy of Universal Pictures<br />

raptor allies, must then venture<br />

forth to rescue the kids. Sound<br />

familiar?<br />

What’s different this time is that<br />

there isn’t a single character<br />

worthy of an emotional<br />

investment by the audience. The<br />

dinosaurs’ victims are anonymous<br />

stereotypes — fat slob worker,<br />

grim-faced interchangeable<br />

security gunmen, fleeing extras.<br />

Dino chum.<br />

A budding romance between<br />

Pratt and Howard is contrived and<br />

halfhearted. A subplot about an<br />

evil corporation seeking to<br />

weaponize the Velociraptors for<br />

the military is absurd.<br />

And finally the dino-on-dino<br />

violence that climaxes the picture<br />

is barely impressive. Clearly, in<br />

Hammond’s words, Spielberg and<br />

company “spared no expense” on<br />

the effects. But it’s been 22 long<br />

years since the original “Jurassic”<br />

wowed audience with its<br />

then-groundbreaking CG work.<br />

Today, “no one is impressed with<br />

dinosaurs any more.”<br />

We’ve seen it all before.

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