The Soft Issue (v.15)

their societal pressures in unique and mysterious ways. One example which I often
refer to is my friend Aisha. Aisha is incredibly artistic, opinionated, cynical, and
spontaneous. Her name translates to something like “alive and well” or “lively”.
These qualities along with the meaning of her name would warrant the image of a
loud, or outspoken individual. However, Aisha is incredibly soft spoken. Her energy
level is low and docile. She has soft physical features, dresses down, and spends a lot
of time to herself. This contrast intrigues me because I realized that I often associate
a soft spoken nature with a soft reaction to their environment. When I told this
to Aisha she coined the infamous phrase “Don’t mistake the meek for the weak”.
Aisha’s rebellious beliefs and art are expressed in a gentle way because she wants
to change the environment around her rather than let the environment change her.
Rather than speaking up, speaking loudly, or booming she seeks validation on her
own terms. “If people want to listen, they will”. I pushed the issue a bit further and
asked her about her experience as a woman and how her soft spoken nature may
have fed into stereotypes around speaking in a “ladylike” voice. She sat in silence
for a moment. I felt the room grow quiet, the silence build, and the softness of her
essence began to bloom. “I don’t think there is anything wrong with being ladylike,
or being quiet. Those are not the qualities that need to be changed to be treated
equally. Instead we must change the associations we have around those qualities. I
wanted to be treated equally for who I am rather than go against my nature to meet
a standard or fit a mold to be treated equally.” We sat in the quiet for a bit longer,
and then longer, and longer. This is how most of our conversations go. It’s funny
because I have heard these interactions described as love, that you know you have
found love when you can be in the presence of another, in silence and not feel that
tinge of awkwardness or tension. If we know love can be found in silence what else
can can be found, or what other strengths and rebellions are hidden in the softest,
quietest places.
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