Smorgasboarder_16_March-2013
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For some reason blokes are convinced it’s<br />
all easy play out there for girls. While you<br />
probably enjoy being behind the hottest chick<br />
on earth - duck diving, wearing a tiny Brazilian<br />
bikini, unfortunately, in real life Miss Reef<br />
doesn’t surf your local break and the actual<br />
girls in the line-up usually sit either left or<br />
right from you. Mostly on your outside, haven’t<br />
you noticed? Not because the ladies can’t<br />
figure out where the best take-off spot is, but<br />
because if they do position themselves there,<br />
you thankfully use them as a marker to paddle<br />
around - just to go and sit a little deeper.<br />
Honestly?<br />
Now, be truly honest with yourself: have you<br />
ever given a girl (that was not your girlfriend,<br />
sister or daughter) a wave? Have you? If your<br />
answer is ‘yes’: good on you. (Applause).<br />
But, have you also snaked a greater amount,<br />
or hassled, blocked, dropped in on? You have,<br />
haven’t you? I know. Because that is reality.<br />
Guys do that. All the time. Not just the ones<br />
that shred, but any guy-with-board, from<br />
kook to pro. Over the years, I’ve distinguished<br />
different kinds of male nuisances in the<br />
water. Let’s see if you recognise yourself as<br />
one of them:<br />
THE OSTRICH<br />
Without even looking properly, a lot of guys<br />
seem to think ‘she’s not going to get it’ and<br />
blatantly drop in. Paddling back out they’ll<br />
still look the other way.<br />
THE FRENETIC<br />
The ones that have been spending their<br />
weekends at the beach for, let’s say, the<br />
past year or two. They’ve now reached the<br />
level that they can trim along the wave and<br />
of course think they’re ripping. They either<br />
assume that they’re better than any girl, or<br />
still feel the need to prove themselves, but<br />
they sure put a lot of effort into that hassling!<br />
THE DELIBERATE BLOCKER<br />
On some dudes, usually 60+, women can<br />
have the effect of a red fl ag to a bull.<br />
‘Females don’t belong on waves’, their face<br />
says, as they cut us off. Often these are<br />
the guys with double standards. On bigger<br />
boards, surrounded by mates, they take<br />
wave after wave and share them among<br />
themselves. But uh-oh, if a wahine gets a<br />
couple of rides in a row... ‘How rude is she?’<br />
LAST BUT NOT LEAST: THE MACHO<br />
They drop in just because they can. After<br />
all, we’re an easy target. It’s not too hard to<br />
out-paddle us, and we most likely won’t beat<br />
you up...<br />
DIFFERENT,<br />
BUT THE SAME<br />
Did you notice a little sarcasm before? Good.<br />
Sarcasm shows I’m annoyed, but not overly<br />
angry. Because, don’t get me wrong, I love<br />
men. I love being around them. It’s good fun.<br />
I have always had more male than female<br />
friends, and in that sense it’s great to be ‘the<br />
chick in the water’. Not that I see myself<br />
different from any other surfer. I am not after<br />
privileges. You don’t have to give me waves<br />
You can of course, but don’t have to. I’ll work<br />
for them myself. But it needs to be fair play.<br />
I know that generally men are stronger,<br />
paddle faster and that they can be just that<br />
bit earlier with their take-off. And that’s okay.<br />
Maybe I even like it that way. I don’t mind a<br />
bit of a pecking order. It’s the fact that males<br />
hassle us ladies more frequently than they do<br />
other males that gets to me. If there are fifty<br />
odd surfers out - and they all drop in twice -<br />
how much fun do you think I have?<br />
THE GREATER<br />
MAN THE<br />
GREATER<br />
COURTESY<br />
I remember vividly the expression on one<br />
surfers face. He dropped in on me while I<br />
pulled in a barrel at Bells. He looked at the<br />
wave - his face lit up (it was a beauty) and<br />
then he glanced at me. I could tell his eyes<br />
saying ‘Oh, a chick’ and without thinking<br />
twice he burned me.<br />
Is it because I come from Europe, that I am<br />
more accustomed to chivalry? Small courtesies<br />
sweeten life - that’s what I think. Like flirting,<br />
but with grace. Not that it’s just surfers - away<br />
from the beach it is not much different. They<br />
often take me by surprise, chaps jumping<br />
queues in front of me at the supermarket...<br />
Only in the ocean it’s more frustrating. We’re<br />
all there to have a good time, and paddling<br />
costs more energy than standing in line, or<br />
opening a door for oneself.<br />
There is one situation though, I noticed, when<br />
men naturally do give away a lot of waves:<br />
Yes, when they are out surfi ng with their<br />
girlfriend, sister or daughter. Funny thing is<br />
though, the waves they give away are seldom<br />
theirs. Time and again they are mine...<br />
TRUE OR FALSE? What do you reckon? Join in the conversation on Facebook and share your thoughts!<br />
www.facebook.com/smorgasboarder<br />
MAR/APR <strong>2013</strong> | SMORGASBOARDER 27
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