The Good Life – November-December 2017

Good Life: So, Santa — mind if I call you that, or would
you prefer I call you St. Nick, Nick, Nicki, Big Nicki,
Little Nicki —
Santa Claus: Santa will be fine.
GL: Okay, great. So, Little Nicki, how old are you these
days? You're looking as young and old as ever.
SC: Well, according to Wikipedia, I turn 1,747 this year.
I'm not sure when my birthday is because my mother
wanted to protect me from threatening time travelers.
GL: I see you’ve considerably lost weight. How did you
do it?
SC: I went Paleo to fit under door cracks easier.
Fireplaces aren’t as common as they once were, and
storm windows make things more difficult, so I’ve had
to become more creative in my methods of breaking
and entering. All the broccoli I eat has made me pretty
bloated, though, so I still have a bit of a belly.
GL: How did you go from being a human to the immortal
ruler of the northern elf district?
SC: I’d rather not comment.
GL: You’re also the CEO of the biggest toy manufacturer
in the world, which has brought innumerable jobs to the
elven population over the years. That must make you
proud.
SC: Knowing I’m helping a once struggling population is
a gift in and of itself, and I’m ho-ho-honored to continue
the legacy… of myself — of what I’ve been doing for ages…
Santa Facts
t According to stnicholascenter.org, our American
version of Santa Claus was exhibited well during World
War II when American troops dressed as Santa and
distributed toys and food to children in Europe.
t Many countries celebrate the giving of gifts on St.
Nicholas Day, which is actually December 6. In other
places, Santa makes an appearance in mid-November.
t Reindeer aren’t always the agreed-upon assistants
of Santa on his travels. In the Netherlands, Sinterklaas
rides a white horse. In some areas of France, Belgium,
and other European countries, he’s on a donkey. But the
most terrifying tales of St. Nick’s sidekicks hail from
Austrian, Czech and Slovak traditions where creatures
like Krampus, a devil-like figure, are kept in line by an
angel or the saint himself. •
GL: Why did you emotionally abuse Rudolph, or do
you feel as though you weren't accurately represented
in the 1964 biographical animated film of the same
name?
SC: Honestly, I'm still saddened by how I was
portrayed, though I wasn’t as kind as I should have
been to such a helpful misfit. I was as skinny then as
I am now, and that always makes me less than jolly.
GL: Does Mrs. Claus ever have a problem with all your
admirers?
SC: She’s usually a trooper and doesn’t get jealous,
but the one song that’s always irritated her is “Santa
Baby.” She wrote those lyrics for me as a poem, but
they accidentally fell out of my pocket when I was
delivering gifts. The people who found the note
turned it into a song. She’s kind of had a thing against
Eartha Kitt ever since, but I have more of a problem
with Michael Bublé.
GL: What does living the good life mean to you?
SC: Oh, kicking back and cracking open a cold nog
with the elves, sitting on the porch with Mrs. Claus, and
driving the sleigh around for an afternoon ride with the
top down. But the best life is when you’re focused on
helping others, showing God’s compassion and love to
everyone you come across.
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