modern motherhood // By Jessica Fisher First Time Mom... for the Fifth Time parenting tips from a mom who’s been there A fter a wild 10-mile ride, while I panted and moaned, my husband pulled up to the Emergency Room with a police car flourish, parking crooked in front of the entrance. He ran to get a nurse, “My wife’s going to have a <strong>baby</strong> any minute.” The young nurse, calmly walked out with a wheel chair. “It’s ok, sir. Is this her first <strong>baby</strong>?” “No! It’s our fourth!” At that moment, the nurse lost her confident demeanor. Even in transition, I recognized her panic. She knew a multipara, or woman who has given birth more than twice, was likely to deliver quickly. She absolutely did NOT want to have that woman, me, deliver in her ER. One might think that repeating a monumental experience several times, like having a <strong>baby</strong>, would make me an expert. However, these pregnancies continue to surprise me. My friends laugh when I tell them the story of our last crazy trip to the hospital. I had waited longer than was comfortable for the hospital staff because I really didn’t know I was in labor. Really. My first three deliveries had all started and progressed in the same way, although not at the same speeds. This fourth labor began differently, manifesting different symptoms, and at a quicker rate than before, so it took me by surprise. Needless to say, we are glad we made it to the hospital, even if it was with only fifteen minutes to spare. The surprises haven’t stop with childbirth. As the mother of four boys, I would have expected infancy and toddlerhood to progress in similar ways, especially since my kids are all the same sex. But, as the saying goes, all children are different. I can say that I have learned something new every time. As I await the birth of our fifth child, I assert with confidence that I am no expert. Yet, I see things that I have experienced have colored my perspective on motherhood and having babies today. I present these, not as “expert advice,” but as suggestions from someone who has been there. Bargain shop. When pregnant with my first child, I searched through every specialty shop in town for the stroller/car seat system with the most uniquely patterned fabric. I thought I just had to have it. I didn’t want the generic print from the discount department store. It was only a few months later when I realized that the extra money I spent could have bought a lot of diapers. Don’t think that the <strong>baby</strong> has to have the best and newest of everything. Research and choose wisely. Am I saying you can’t buy new? Absolutely not. But, know that a few years, or even just months down the road, there may be an unexpected need or more important desire that arises, but not enough funds to make it possible. If you can purchase items on sale or secondhand, do it! The quality is about the same since babies don’t usually wear things out. Since safety standards are constantly being updated, make sure that the used items you purchase are not outdated or subject to recalls. This is advice that I need to repeat to myself over and over now that we are expecting our first girl. My desire for “NEW” is great: new crib bedding, new cushions for the glider…. My husband wisely reminded me that much of what we already have will do for a girl just as well for a boy. Try not to get swept away by the “gotta haves.” Parenthood is full of opportunities to forego instant gratification. Share your maternity clothes. The small fortune you spend on clothes that will get little wear may create the temptation to continued >>> 18 www.GVParent.com/RochesterBaby
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