baby magazine-1

growing family // By Katrina Kassel
Preparing a Sibling
for Baby’s Arrival
A
dding a new sibling means changes for your child,
and preparing ahead can help smooth the way.
Here are some tips to help you.
Tell your child before
someone else does. When
to tell your child you are
expecting a baby is a personal
choice. You don’t want to inform
her too early, but waiting
too long may mean your child
overhears other adults discussing
the baby or is asked how
she feels before you’ve talked
with her about it. Many parents
choose to tell their children
between the third and sixth
months of pregnancy.
Let your child maintain her
childhood. Saying, “You’re
going to be a big sister” often
makes the child feel she can
no longer be a child. Explain
that she will continue doing the
things she does now -- playing
house, building with blocks and
so on. The difference is that
there will be a baby who can’t
do all the things she can do.
Use her own baby pictures to
show her the growth and progress
she has made since birth.
Provide age appropriate
information. Give your child
enough information about
reproduction and birth to
answer questions she may have.
Enlist the aid of a book which
explains the body and birth in
terms meant for your child’s
age group.
Explain the reasons for
another child in positive
terms. For example saying,
“We love you so much we want
another baby” often backfires.
The child wonders why you
need another child if you do
love her so much. Instead, talk
about the fun you had growing
up with your siblings. Share
your desire that she experience
the same.
24 www.GVParent.com/RochesterBaby
Involve your child in easy
preparations. Asking your
child her opinion on too many
things will overwhelm her, but
she will be thrilled to help pick
out a special outfit or blanket
to bring the baby home in. Let
her help with decorating the
nursery or choosing a special
toy for her to give the baby.
Acknowledge anger. Your
child has been the center of attention
and now she must share
your lap, love, and attention.
There are sure to be feelings of
loss and even anger. Allowing
your child her feelings lets you
help her deal with them. You
might simply say, “When I
have to spend time caring for
the baby instead of playing
with you, it makes you upset.
You feel I care about the baby
more than you.” This leaves it
open for your child to share her
feelings.
Give your older child extra
attention. Nearby relatives
may help give your older child
the extra attention she needs.
If not, enlist dad’s help to play
with or bathe the baby while
you read to your older child.
Use some of the baby’s sleeping
hours to do quality activities
with the sibling.
Adding a child through
adoption. Adding a child
through adoption also means
changes for your child, but the
discussions you have differ than
those a birth mom has with
her child. You not only have
to explain that another child is
joining the family, but why this
child isn’t being born to you or
why the child’s birthmom isn’t
raising him.
Unlike a child added by
birth, an adoption doesn’t always
follow a set time schedule.
You may have little warning