Healthy SoFlo Issue 56 - Addressing Your Energy in the New Year

HEALTHY KIDS · JANUARY 2018
CHILDREN DON’T WANT
CHRONICALLY BUSY
PARENTS, THEY WANT
PRESENT PARENTS WHO LIKE
BEING WITH THEM.
LEARNING TO BATTLE
BUSY AND SLOW DOWN
Mom, dad, I get it. There’s just one more
thing you need to get done. Right after
that one other thing, which of course,
is right after the other thing. There’s always just
one… more… thing. Does it ever stop?!?
The truth is, no, IT never stops. Which means its
up to YOU to do the stopping.
Busyness is certainly nothing new, but we are
living in a day when parents are wearing “busy”
and “exhausted” as badges at an alarming rate, as
if the quality of our parenting equals the quantity
of our activity. Let me let you in on a little secret…
SPOILER ALERT: it doesn’t!
SPOILER ALERT: the quality of your parenting
does not equal the quantity of your activity.
For parents, it is true what they say: the days are
long, but the years are short. The lie that “busy”
tells you is “you’ll have time for it later”. And then
later comes, then comes again, and again, and
before you know it, you look up and all the “laters”
have come and gone and in the meantime you
missed out on the many everyday moments that
are such a gift in the life of a parent.
If you find yourself fighting the battle of busy
struggling to be present for the everyday
moments in your life, here are 4 things I want to
challenge you with:
Slow Down! Seriously. Make a
01 commitment to yourself to slow down
the pace of your life. In order to do this, you
will need to make some changes- either in
the activities that your kids are involved in
or in the activities/work schedule that you
have. Find ONE thing that you can either cut
back on or completely remove that will open
up time in your life for you to breathe a bit.
It will be hard but remember, giving yourself
the gift of time or your child the gift of
more time with you will bring you only good.
NOTHING bad comes from spending more
time with your family and giving yourself
more unhurried time will dramatically
improve the quality of your life. So make
changes, small changes at first, and do not be
afraid!
Take off the badge of exhaustion. Most
02 mothers, whether working outside
the home or not, believe they are tougher,
stronger and more accomplished if they live
so busy that they are exhausted. If you are
an exhausted mother, ask yourself “Why do
I thrive on being exhausted? What mental or
emotional benefit am I getting from living
so frenetically?” Then make a commitment
to yourself to reject these feelings. They are
not reasonable, they are irrational and very
unhealthy. Children don’t want chronically
busy, exhausted parents, they want present
parents who like being with them. Likewise,
your boss doesn’t need someone who can’t
function well because you are so tired. They
need someone who can think on her feet,
take care of her emotional, mental and
physical health and be in there for the long
haul.
Be Courageous Enough to Live
03 Differently from your peers. One of
the best exercises I have done is ask myself
why I do what I do. If I am contemplating
taking on another project, even if it is small, I
have a heart to heart with myself and ask why
would I take this on? Often I find that I don’t
really have a reason other than the belief that
I should do it because it would be expected
of me. THIS is NOT a good reason. I have to
tell myself NO to many things and it is critical
for all moms and dads to do this. There will
likely be push back from friends and family
who are accustomed to one thing from you,
but if we want peace, we must learn to be
comfortable with living very differently. The
truth is, many of those people will actually be
jealous. They may want to do exactly what we
are doing but need someone to follow.
Trust Your Instincts. The truth is, your
04 instincts are there for a reason. They
may stem from your thinking, the way you
were trained to think and believe. But 99%
of the time they protect you and you need to
listen to them. One of my biggest frustrations
working with conscientious parents is their
fear of listening to what their instinct tells
them to do when it comes to parenting.
WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR
PARENTING, WHAT ARE YOUR
INSTINCTS TELLING YOU
ABOUT HOW YOU SPEND
YOUR TIME?
SO let me ask you a frank question now: when it
comes to your parenting, what are your instincts
telling you about how you spend your time? Are
they telling you that you need to pull back a little?
Slow down just a bit or erase something that you
are currently doing that is making you exhausted? I
want to tell you- listen to those inner voices. They
are arising in you because you need something
that you are resisting giving yourself. Do you really
want to deprive yourself or your children of the
common sense that your instincts are telling you
to do? What keeps you from not listening to your
gut?
Parents, the battle of busy is not an easy one, but
it is one of the most important ones and it must
be waged and won!
By Meg Meeker, MD
12 HEALTHY MAGAZINE