CCChat-Magazine_5

They deliberately keep doing things they know
cause upset.
This may be something irritating like deliberately
leaving dirty clothes in front of the laundry basket,
or it might be something more.
Example: "I work from home so clients come to
the house and they can use the downstairs
cloakroom. Whenever a client was due to arrive,
he would disappear for a bowel movement and
then *forget* to flush. It was a grotesque act of
marking his territoty."
Example: " We always had more powercuts when
he was home. When that happened, the alarm
would not go off and I would end up taking the
children to school late and turn up to work even
later."
Back handed compliments:
They talk constantly about their friends but
you have never met them.
They will disappear off to meet friends you have
never met yet they know all your friends. often
they will take great pains to make out that their
friendship with your friends is deeper and more
meaningful than the one you have with them.
They may tell you that your friends have been bad
mouthing you. That way, you distance yourself
from your friends so he has isolated you.
Just to keep you on your toes, there will be back
handed compliments. If you react to them, you will
be overreacting, making a mountain out of a
molehill or have no sense of humour. Even if you
don't react, it will plant a seed of doubt.
Example 1: " She has the most perfect bum but I
prefer yours"
Example 2: " Your friend looks exactly like [ add
name of super stunning person]. I could never see
why anyone would think Supermodel X is
goodlooking."
They will accidentally on purpose forget
They forget on purpose
They will accidentally on purpose forget to walk
the dog, change the nappy, pick up the dry
cleaning, take the souffle out of the oven. Little
acts of deliberate sabotage which can be pased of
as accidents but are really intended to undermine
and infuriate. They will also often resort to
gaslighting to claim you never asked them to do
the thing you asked of them.
Example: " He did not want me to go out in the
evening, but I had to go out for work. It was very
dark and foggy and normally the gate is always
kept open. On this occasion, he had closed and
locked the gates so that when I reversed out into
the lane, I would drive straight into the gates. I
ended up not going out, just like he wanted.
Example 3: " I like your face, it looks lived in. I
don't mean that as an insult but as a
compliment."
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