CCChat-Magazine_5

Envisaging a vicious
Custardy battle?
Time to think of
The Custard Efect.
What is the custard efect?
Many readers will remember the Brainiac
experiment where Jon Tickle ran across a
swimming pool full of custard.
How was this explained? In simple terms, custard
is a non newtonian luid (doesn't behave like
water) and when a force is applied, there is
resistance so, if you place your hand on the
custard, your hand will sink, if you slap the
custard (now theres a sentence I never thought
I'd write!), your hand will push back.
Resistance is met with resistance
Without getting all sciencey, how does this
relate to family court proceedings?
When emotions are running high especially
when people feel hurt, angry, betrayed,let
down, things can quickly escalate until they get
out of hand. Often, the breakdown of the
relationship is a time when couples no longer
think of the other person, their feelings and how
the manner in which they speak, react can create
a negative response.
The following is an actual situation but one that
is being replayed over and over. There is no
history of domestic abuse, just a marriage that
became stale over time and a spiral into a rapidly
worsening situation.
Him: " I fell in love with someone else and
wanted us both to move on with our lives. I was
worried that she might start being difficult so I
made sure communication was brief and to the
point. I was right, she did become awkward. She
made excuses over contact, she started creating
barriers between the children and my new
partner. I could see she was trying to alienate the
children."
Her: " He suddenly announced he had fallen in
love with someone else and wanted a divorce. I
knew we hadn't been getting on but I thought it
was just a phase - we had been together since we
were 16. He had always been my best friend and I
couldn't understand why he suddebly became so
rude and distant. It really upset me.
It was obvious he had no more feelings for me and
he wanted to move on. I started to worry that he
was looking to replace me as the children's
mother. I knew from mutual friends they were in
love and a good fit and I was terrified I would end
up being erased from my children's life.
Instead of talking to me, he resorted to emailing
me curt and really quite rude emails. He no longer
asked, he started demanding and the more he
demanded, the more I resisted. It was going from
bad to worse and I didn't know how to stop it. He
really hated me."
"The more he demanded, the more I
resisted. "
There we have it.....
The Custard Effect.
2018 is the Year For Making The Invisible Visible