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2. Life isn’t a fairytale. People who believe those miracle stories are<br />
suckers who can’t handle the truth of their drab existence and unexceptional<br />
selves so they live in some ‘other world’. Don’t waste your time. It belittles your<br />
intelligence.<br />
3. Women don’t need men. Men want to use you. Women are baggage to<br />
be towed and opened occasionally. All sexual references intended.<br />
4. Be happy with what you’re given. Don’t want for more, it’s greedy and<br />
will lead to disappointment. See PWV #2.<br />
5. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. You’re small in this world and<br />
well, frankly, unimportant. Special roles are reserved for exceptional people and<br />
you’re not one of them. See PWV number 1 and 6 for more detail. And finally,<br />
6. Life is difficult and then you die. Survival is the only measure in this<br />
world; those worried about happiness are simply delusional.<br />
Chapter 1<br />
Wednesday, September 28, 1988<br />
Three Men and a Shower<br />
Mobs of colossal neon polka-dotted cockroaches and their leaders chase me<br />
down a dark and abandoned Michigan Avenue. Armies of panicked frogs on<br />
amphetamines whip in my chest. I leap over a pothole but screech to a halt at<br />
the Neiman Marcus display window. Stage lights atop the mob’s antennas reveal<br />
my horror; I’m naked.<br />
I throw up my hand and halt the dream. Cockroaches freeze mid-air. I yank<br />
the Led Zeppelin Father Time concert-I’ve-never-been-to t-shirt out of the<br />
The Rules of Life by Melissa Abbott-Cooke. Contact: Melissa@therulesoflifebook.com 615-669-5643 5