10 months ago


Pivot Your Perspective

Pivot Your Perspective confidence that the fundamental conditions of my early years created circumstances and events by which I was both pushed and inspired to find my way through to new understandings and pivots in perspective. Over the years, I have observed the same phenomenon with my clients. Thus, part of our conversation targets the issues at hand and another part focuses in on the mechanics of change; what they were taught or not taught, what is assumed, and how to create new understandings of change mechanics. A NEED FOR CONTROL As a young child, I developed a need for consistency very early on. I struggled with the lack of emotional availability of two parents, who in turn struggled with their emotional readiness. What I know now is that their struggle and mine set in motion the perfect situation for the learning that would change my life and help me help others. The emotional availability—or lack thereof— of my parents had a profound impact on my parental connection and nurturing. I grew up wanting to make deep emotional connections, and having my core family unable to do so created a situation that was “charged” with kinetic energy. I struggled both with my family and with my close friends as I projected my experience outward in a desperate attempt to resolve it. 4

Introduction The emotional instability of the family situation, mixed with the emotional unavailability, worked to intensify and polarize the experience for me. My experience varied from structure to free-fall to chaos. Emotions help to facilitate our journey just like a compass can help you determine what direction to take as you review a map. I began to recede more and more into myself, retreating from the world and building my psychological walls of protection. Uncertain about the specifics of our life experiences, we all quite normally seek methods to soothe ourselves and to make sense of our surroundings—so that we can be and feel safe. My experience drove me to make a pact with myself—I vowed to always try to figure things out, no matter how much “life” confused me. I vowed to work my way forward. I promised to take the feeling of helplessness and use it to propel myself forward—to transcend that feeling to one where I was in control. It was a life-changing moment that I did not realize was PAGE 5

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