SOWBO Magazine 2nd Edition

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Som e im port ant discussions t o have include: How are we going to handle money? Do we have compatible spender/saver styles? Who will be responsible for the household bookkeeping? The business books? Do we share the same values around needs vs. wants when discussing purchases? Any one of these loaded money questions can derail a relationship if it goes unaddressed. The time to hash out money issues is before any big ticket purchases or the first financial emergency. And yes, there?s always a financial emergency. Who runs the household? Who runs the business? Where do we find the time to get everything done? How a couple divides up the tasks of life is very unique to each family. Everything from spiritual values to personal preferences and physical abilities can be thrown into the mix when trying to decide who does what around the house or office. Problems arise when you start a new relationship without trying to define the roles and responsibilities. Once again, it?s best to have these discussions early on before something slips through the cracks. It might not be a big deal if both partners assume the other is going to take out the trash. However, you don?t want important things like childcare or paying the bills to be left to chance. Taking on a new business partner can sometimes feel as worrying as a marriage. After all, there are some weeks when you?ll be spending more time with this person than your family. A business partner needs to not only share your goals, but also needs to accept your values and vision for your company. For example, you not only want a new partner who sees the same market opportunities, they need to agree with you on the ethical way to get there. When you audition new business partners, feel free to be thorough. Unlike a romance, when we look for business partners we aren?t looking for spark and chemistry, though it?s great if we ?click?, we are looking for complementary skills? a way to fill the gaps in our management structure. If you love to do research, but don?t enjoy socializing, then seek a partner with the gift of gab. Likewise, a dynamic speaker who hates financial strategy sessions should consider a partner who understands the magic of numbers. Work your new business partner into your life carefully. Discuss expectations in the beginning and have frequent check-ins to make sure you are moving forward as a team. Never surprise your new partner by publicly discussing aspects of your business that you haven?t already hashed-out behind closed doors. Finally, make it legal. Once you?ve found the right partner or partners, then hire a lawyer to get the proper paperwork done. Proper documentation does NOT indicate a lack of trust, but rather a needed level of professionalism. Don?t let any potential partners try to sweet talk you into thinking otherwise. Life is fluid and sometimes painfully challenging, and so we inevitably have to deal with the endings of relationships. Even those that seem at first glance to be personal, death and divorce, impact the overall reality of a businesswoman?s life. It?s important to put as much energy into coping with the endings as we do with the beginnings. The end of a family relationship, even if that relationship wasn?t perfect, can be painful. While mourning after an unexpected tragedy might seem obvious, we also need time to mourn for deaths we knew were coming and divorces that were for the best. When something is over, we need time to adjust. Of course you can still power through and handle your survival needs. Yet, expecting that you?re going to excel as business owner while you?re healing personal wounds is unreasonable, and not fair to you or those with whom you work. ?The beginnings and endings of all human undertakings are untidy.? John Galsworthy, Nobel Prize in Literature 1932 22
Reach out to your personal support network. These people want you to be happy and succeed, and they are a natural place to start your healing process. Consider professional help. It?s always shocking to me to find out that women who will go for a spa treatment, buy the ?good wine,? or use expensive retail therapy (often in the form of shoes), will not pay for doctors, therapists, or other professional help to deal with grief. Those slogans about how you deserve the best are not just about cosmetics? you deserve quality support for mental health too. Just like all marriages don?t turn out to have been ?made in heaven? all business partnerships were not meant to be, or to be forever. Whether it?s a positive split around new greater opportunities for one or both of you, or a negative parting fueled by toxicity, business partnerships end all the time. If you did your homework at the beginning, the dissolution should be easier. Wise business partners discuss at the beginning the likely what if situations like retirement, relocation, financial or life events happening to either partner. In cases like this, there will be an adjustment period, but you?ve just got to follow your Plan B ideas and legal documents through to conclusion. If there wasn?t a plan or if the ending happens around some issue you never considered, then calm conversations are the remedy. These conversations should probably include legal counsel for each partner. Now is not the time to wing it or carelessly trust things will somehow work out on their own. The future health and reputation of your business could be on the line. No matter what type of ending you?re facing, a key element to coming out on the other side whole is time. It takes time to mourn, heal and recover. It also takes time to evaluate, plan and execute your next business steps. Relationship transitions, personal and professional, are unavoidable. Yet they don?t have to derail your business or squash your spirit. Accepting that these beginnings and endings will be messy and sometimes raw, is the first step to handling them like a pro. About the author:Karen Sout hall Wat t s has transitioned many times in life. From east coast to west coast, from employee to stay-athome-mom, to academic and entrepreneur. Karen lives in Vancouver, BC where she is a business coach, college instructor, author and speaker. She is the author of, Messenger: The Entrepreneur?s Guide to Communication, and Ask and Achieve: Questions in the middle of a woman?s life. 23
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