The Good Life – May-June 2018

FATHERS // MR. FULL-TIME DAD
Milestones That Matter
The Real Game Changers Parents Secretly Celebrate
WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON • PHOTO BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
As I was gathering up Macklin’s shoes and jacket, waiting
for that perfect moment to snatch him up from the
rainbow carpet where he and his classmates were sitting
entranced by storytime, his teacher came up with a rare
smile on her face. “Mack put his nap stuff back in his
bag all by himself today!” she nearly shouted.
Stuffing haphazardly a blanket, tiny
pillow and fitted crib sheet into a
medium-sized duffel bag would
in no other circumstance
warrant such delight. But
for a 2-year-old grinding it
out in the three’s room,
it’s a milestone worthy
of celebration. In all
honesty, it’s the only
kind of milestone
that matters… the
kind that takes some of
the heavy lifting off my plate (or, in this case, off his
teacher’s plate).
These non-traditional milestones, as my wife and I have
come to call them, are the true game changers of child
development when examined through the selfish lens of
a parent who’s back always hurts. The “What to Expect
When You’re Expecting” books are full of advice on
things like when your baby should start sleeping through
the night, sitting up, crawling and walking, but now that
those milestones are well in the rear-view, I’ve come to
appreciate the more subtle benchmarks of growing up.
Sleeping through the night was, indeed, amazing, but
nothing compared to what lay ahead.
Bye-Bye Bottles
No matter which brand or style of bottle or sippy cup you
choose, ultimately it’s always at least one more part to wash.
But first, disassemble. And maybe lose. Or break. Or drop
down the garbage disposal, at which point you must decide
how much you really trust your dishwasher to get clean
something your child will literally suck on after it has visited
the deepest depths of foul.
Saying goodbye to bottles is like saying goodbye to your
first car. Both are strictly utilitarian, nobody’s first choice
and always missing a piece that may or may not affect
performance. It also means welcoming back some precious
square footage in your cupboard. I can’t tell you how big a
sacrifice it was having to go downstairs to retrieve a proper
scotch glass on steak night.
2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com