Healthy RGV Issue 113

HEALTHY KIDS · APRIL 2018
6 RELATIONSHIP
TIPS FOR MY TEEN
This won’t be a smooth ride so get ready
to hang on, steer, and use your brakes.
Know there will be tears and
disappointments which, though painful,
will make you a stronger and wiser
person. There will also be friendships,
experiences, and accomplishments that
you will cherish for a lifetime. There will
be laughter, silliness, and creations you’ll
feel proud of.
Oh, and there will be people to fall in love
with.
And you will fall in love, more than once,
in the years to come.
So, before this happens, I thought I’d
offer up a few hard-earned words of
wisdom.
When it comes to relationships and love,
always remember:
NEVER PUT
01 YOURSELF DOWN.
When you are in a new relationship, or in
the presence of someone you’d like to be
in a relationship with, avoid pointing out
personal insecurities or perceived flaws.
Don’t hate on any part of yourself in front
of them. Hold your head up, and use full
eye-contact (no looking at the ground).
Reason being? If you want to attract
someone who is respectful, you need to
model what you expect from them. You
do not expect to be talked down to, or to
have negative things said to you or about
you, right? So don’t talk down to or speak
negatively about yourself. Of course,
as time goes by, you should be able to
share some of your more vulnerable stuff
within your relationship, but not in the
beginning.
*Note: When you have insecurities
(and everyone does) talk them out with
friends or family, instead.
DATE SOMEONE
02 YOU NEVER
THOUGHT YOU’D DATE.
Go on, do it! Even if it only
proves you were right, they
weren’t the one for you.
Spending time with someone
really different than you means
getting to view life (or at least
a few experiences) from a new
perspective. Going off your
usual path helps you get to
know yourself, which is what
these years are all about. You
can better discover who you are,
and what you need, by spending
time with different types of
personalities and seeing how
they impact you.
*Note: Every person you
spend time with can teach you
something. Keep your eyes open
for what you can learn.
DON’T LOSE
03 YOURSELF.
This happens when you become
more a reflection of your partner
than of the person you were
when you met (i.e., You take on
their style in fashion. You like the
same movies, music, and sports.
You may use the same words and
sayings). Some of this is natural,
but don’t forget to stay in tune
with your own interests, too.
If you aren’t sure what your
own interests are right now,
make time to figure it out. Stay
grounded in what makes you
tick and what makes you, you.
Anyone worth spending time
with should be open to what you
like and willing to invest time
taking part in those things, as
well. Relationships go both ways
and should not be something
that you simply go along with.
*Note: If you do feel like you’re
losing yourself, don’t worry: you
can always get back to you.
DON’T DITCH
04 YOUR FRIENDS.
Even if you’re in a relationship
and you are so loved-up you
want to spend every waking
hour together, don’t forget to
prioritize your own friendships.
Because, quite simply, life is
better when good people who
get you surround you. In order
to keep yourself surrounded by
good people who get you, you
need to treat people well and
be there for them. This means,
making time for your friends, no
matter what.
*Note: Good friends should lift
each other up, support each
other’s goals, and have each
other’s best interests at heart.
Be sure these are the kinds of
friends you have. Otherwise,
move on and find new ones.
THE DECISION TO
05 HAVE SEX, OR NOT,
IS ALWAYS YOURS.
Whether to have sex or not is
always your choice. When it
happens, how it happens, if it
stops partway through – your
choice. If you change your mind
before it begins or you want
something different to happen
during – your choice.
You are in charge of your body,
no matter what the situation
is. Choose to be intimate with
people who respect you and
whom you are comfortable
with. Sex, with the right person,
can be a positive thing. Sex with
someone who lacks respect for
you… is the opposite.
*Note: Be safe. (Every. Time.)
YOUR MISTAKES
06DON’T DEFINE YOU.
Now, remember: you will make
mistakes when it comes to love,
sex, and relationships. But know
this: Those mistakes do not
define who you are. Those whatwas-I-thinking
choices can help
you grow. Sometimes, life can
feel really hard, and scary, and
you will feel lost at times. But,
you are never alone.
*Note: Your mistakes don’t
define you, but they do help you
better define what you want and
need in the future.
Shannon Day is coauthor
of the funny and
heartwarming book/
martini guide 'Martinis
& Motherhood: Tales of
Wonder, Woe & WTF?!'
6 HEALTHY MAGAZINE