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In association with 

amp 

a mother place

"Prepare to be unprepared...!" 

Janey Carey 

Founder of the Mummy Buddy Programme 

***For legal reasons we just need to make it clear that this book is intended to be used as a GUIDE only. 

You must always contact your healthcare professional if you have any medical queries.***

Dear Pregnant Self 

When people tell you to "make the most of the time you have before your 

baby arrives", LISTEN TO THEM. 

From this side of the fence, I wish I’d been lazy. I wish I’d been incredibly 

lazy. Don't spend those last few weeks before baby comes working yourself 

into the ground, exhausting yourself trying to squeeze in copious social meet 

ups and batch cooking until the freezer screams “no more”. 

Just sit. 

Be still. 

Enjoy the peace. 

The time that you have during the precious first few weeks of maternity 

leave, waiting, do that, wait. Watch box sets, prepare meals for the freezer at 

your leisure, take long baths, read some books. Just enjoy being. 

Making a celebration cake on the morning of your baby shower (at 39 weeks) 

is a terrible idea. You’ll break your cake mixer and end up sobbing into a cup 

of tea in order to regain control of your emotions, before the guests arrive. 

Just add the cake to the online food order. Nobody will care, least of all you. 

Labour kicking in, will mean long days with little sleep and little food - 

honestly it happens to everyone, so this is your time to prepare yourself. Destress 

from work worries and any anxiety, rest, rest, rest. On the other side 

of birth you’ll be very grateful for having given yourself that space and time. 

You won’t care that the rug in the dining room hasn’t been deep cleaned, or 

that the curtains weren’t rehung - but the ‘gin in a tin’ on arrival home from 

the hospital will be necessary, so do, do that! 

In those first few precious weeks, don’t rush. 

You have nothing to prove to yourself or anyone. 

You will be a great Mum. Your heart is in the right place and you always try 

your best. Don’t rush to join a baby class every day, just forget about your 

make-up or your hair and ‘let it all hang out’.

Enjoy the opportunity to cuddle in your pyjamas for a few days. Don’t fight 

being at home and get in touch with your buddy. 

Be kind to yourself. You’re 

facing a huge life change, 

bigger than you have ever 

imagined. 

Give into it. Enjoy those 

precious early days, take 

photos and hibernate with 

baby. Remember, there’s no 

shame in asking for help. 

Be brave, seek help and 

use the services available 

to you. Your buddy can help 

you with this. Just ask her. 

The first year is going to be a 

challenge. The hardest task 

you’ve ever faced. In 12 

months time, you will be 

hairier and more disorganised than you ever thought imaginable. But, most 

importantly, you will be happier than you ever knew possible. Your little 

family will become your world and you will feel the best you’ve ever felt in 

your life. 

Remember, “the good, the bad, everything’s a phase” in your best ‘Gandalf’ 

voice, keep telling yourself “this too shall pass” whenever things feel too 

much “this too shall pass”. 

It works and it’s true. You’ve got this. 

Julia 

An original Mummy Buddy

What's inside? 

Section 1: How to use this Book 

• The Mummy Buddy Programme 

• Knowing me, Knowing You 

Section 2: Pregnancy 

• Exercise 

• Lifestyle 

• Sleeping 

• Travel 

• Working 

• Side Effects 

• Buddy Chats: Pregnancy 

Section 3: The Birth 

• Birth Plans 

• Symptoms 

• Hospital 

• Labour 

• Breathing 

• Pain Relief 

• Inductions 

• Complications 

• Buddy Chats: The Birth 

Section 4: The 4th Trimester 

• First Few Hours 

• Apgar Score 

• Early Feeding 

• Leaving Hospital 

• First Few Days 

• When to Worry 

• Emotional 

• Physical 

• Buddy Chats: The 4th Trimester 

Section 5: Caring for your Baby 

• Crying 

• Sleeping 

• Feeding 

• Changing 

• Bathing 

• Playing 

• Buddy Chats: Caring for your baby

CONGRATULATIONS 

on your pregnancy! 

Welcome to the Mummy Buddy Programme. We want to make sure that you 

feel supported throughout the remainder of your pregnancy and into 

motherhood. It's a really exciting journey, but often one that is also pretty 

daunting and overwhelming especially during the first few weeks with your 

new baby. 

Those who have completed the programme have told us that their buddy 

was a "lifeline" during the early days and that they really benefitted from 

talking to someone who had recently been through 'it'. We hope that your 

buddy offers you friendly guidance and some helpful tips along the way. 

Make the most of your buddy's support - this is what she signed up to 

offer. 

She's just been through it, its fresh in her mind and she wants to help (she's 

doing it for free!). But most of all, this programme is designed to be fun and 

reassuring. Like motherhood itself, it should not be taken too seriously!

The days may feel long, 

but the years will feel short.

How to use this book 

We feel very lucky to be working with the fantastic guys over at A Mother 

Place, who offer access to their honest and thorough online antenatal 

course written by medical professionals. 

We all wish that we'd completed this course before 

having our babies! 

Please visit their FREE online course at: 

www.amotherplace.com 

The topics in this book are covered in more detail in the online course and 

where relevant, the course number is listed at the top of each topic page. 

The key elements of most antenatal classes are featured, and the notes 

section enables you to do a bit more research on each area in your own time. 

We would suggest that you work through the book with your Buddy. It 

should help to guide your chats and will act as a prompt for your buddy. 

Hopefully you will be able to use the information when your baby arrives and 

it will be a great record for you to pass on if you decide to become a buddy 

in the future.

Knowing Me, 

Knowing You 

Tell your buddy about your pregnancy so far then break the ice. 

Go on, ask your buddy the questions below, we dare you! 

MY BUDDY's NAME IS: ................................................................................... 

Baby's Name: ................................... Partners Name: ................................... 

1) Happiness is? : .............................................................................. 

2) How would you describe becoming a mummy in 3 words? 

................................... ................................... ................................... 

3) Whats the best advice that you received? 

........................................................................................................................... 

........................................................................................................................... 

4) What are the top 3 baby items that you bought? 

................................... ................................... ................................... 

5) Be honest, what would you do if you won the lottery?! 

........................................................................................................................... 

...........................................................................................................................

To pee, or not to pee? 

That is never the question!

Pregnancy: 

Exercise 

For more information visit: 

Class 

1 

amotherplace.com 

Remaining active during your 

pregnancy has many benefits. It 

reduces excess weight gain, will 

help you cope with labour and 

lowers the chance of getting 

gestational diabetes. 

It is also known that exercising 

when pregnant can: 1. help you to 

get back into shape after the birth, 

2. reduce psychological problems, 

and 3. reduce the risk of needing 

an assisted delivery. 

Low impact activities such as 

walking and swimming are great. 

Perhaps your Buddy could 

recommend a local antenatal yoga 

or pilates class?

Pregnancy: 

Lifestyle 


Class 

1 


You'll probably find that you are 

more hungry than normal, but 

gone are the days of 'eating for 

two’ (unfortunately!). Eating 

healthily during pregnancy will 

help your baby to develop and 

grow and it will help you to keep 

fit and well. 

Drinking alcohol can cause Fetal 

Alcohol Syndrome as it can reach 

your baby through the placenta. 

Smoking restricts essential 

oxygen supplies, with your baby 

more likely to be born too early 

and underweight. Simply put, it's 

really not worth it.

Pregnancy: 

Sleeping 


Class 

1 


Your sleep may be affected during 

pregnancy for a number of 

reasons: 

• you may need to go to the toilet 

more often than normal. 

• you may be worrying about your 

pregnancy or the birth (this is 

totally normal). 

• it might be difficult to get 

comfortable in bed as your bump 

gets bigger. 

• you may experience heartburn, 

or various aches and pains such 

as carpel tunnel or pelvic pain. 

It's worth asking your buddy about 

pregnancy pillows and other useful 

tips.

Pregnancy: 

Travel 


Class 

1 


Some airlines will not let you fly 

towards the end of your 

pregnancy and you should check 

with them directly. 

Long haul (5hrs +) carries a small 

risk of thrombosis (blood clots) in 

pregnant women so check with 

your healthcare provider before 

you fly and make sure your 

insurance policy covers you. 

Take your maternity notes with 

you and after 37 weeks try not to 

be too far from where you are 

planning to deliver.

Pregnancy: 

Working 


Class 

1 


You should be ok to carry on 

working during your pregnancy, 

however, you might feel really 

tired, particularly in the first and 

last few weeks of your pregnancy. 

Having a bit of time before your 

baby arrives can be really 

enjoyable and psychologically 

important - it's the last time you'll 

be able to relax by yourself for a 

while! 

However, this depends on the 

kind of job you have and if you 

need to finish work a lot earlier. 

You can always discuss this with 

your midwife or doctor.

Pregnancy: 

Side Effects 


Class 

2 


Pregnancy affects almost every 

single system in your body, so it's 

not unusual to have some side 

effects and aches and pains 

during your pregnancy. Sorry! 

The main Side effects usually 

relate to the digestive system, 

swelling, weight gain, other aches 

and pains and possible 

complications of pregnancy. 

However, luckily most of the 

complications of pregnancy are 

very rare, it's just worth you being 

aware of them. What side effects 

did your buddy experience?

Pregnancy: 

Buddy Chats 

- What did you enjoy most about being pregnant? 

- What did you enjoy least about being pregnant? 

- Did you have any cravings?

1. " I found swimming really relaxing, especially during the 3rd trimester. The 

buoyancy of the water gave me this fab feeling of weightlessness which was 

well received at the time!" Laura, Twickenham 

2. "My friend lent me a maternity sleeping pillow. I guess you could use any 

large pillow really but putting it in between my knees at nighttime really helped 

with my back. Great for cosy lie-ins too...enjoy those whilst you can!" Lucy, 

Bristol 

3. "I noticed the swelling in my legs increased during the last week or so of 

pregnancy. It was a really hot summer and I sat with my feet elevated most of 

the time (hard life...!). I spoke to my midwife about it because I was worried it 

could be pre-eclampsia but after a check up I was given the all clear". Ruth, 

Wandsworth 

4. "I made sure I walked (waddled!) around the plane when flying to keep the 

blood circulating around my body". Nina, Ealing

"Do your research, even read the 

scary parts! Know your body and 

your choices. Trust yourself". 

A Mother Place

The Birth 

Birth Plans 


Class 

3 


A Birth Plan is a record of what 

you would LIKE to happen during 

your labour and birth. It's a good 

idea to be well informed about 

potential birth scenarios and to 

be able to outline anything which 

you would like to avoid. 

Please try to be mindful whilst 

writing your birth plan that you 

really cannot predict the kind of 

birth that you will have and try to 

be flexible if any complications 

arrive. 

Try and keep an OPEN MIND so 

that you don't set yourself up for 

disappointment.

The Birth: 

Symptoms 


Class 

3 


It's unlikely that you will mistake 

signs of labour when the time 

really comes, the main symptoms 

being: 

• the start of regular, painful 

contractions 

• a “show” or mucus plug 

• loss of amniotic fluid/waters 

breaking 

• nausea or diarrhoea 

If you are worried about your 

baby's movements at any point, 

it's really important that you go 

straight into hospital. 

How did your buddy know that 

their labour was starting?


The Birth: 

Hospital 

Class 

3 


Before the birth, your midwife will be 

able to give you more information 

about your local hospital (if you are 

not having a home birth) but it's a 

good idea to call your hospital or 

midwifery team when you think your 

labour has started. 

When you call the hospital, the 

midwife will determine if you should 

go into hospital or stay at home by 

asking you a few straightforward 

questions. 

When you are ready to go into 

hospital, head straight for the 

Labour Ward and make sure you 

take your Maternity Notes and your 

overnight bag with you!

The Birth: 

Labour 


Class 

4 


There are 3 main stages of labour: 

1) The first stage, Dilation, is 

when the cervix softens, thins 

and shortens before it starts to 

open up until it's 10cm wide so 

that the baby’s head may fit 

through. 

2) The second stage of Labour, 

the baby's birth, is from the end 

of the first stage until the delivery 

of the baby. 

3) The third stage of Labour, the 

placenta, is from the delivery of 

the baby to the delivery of the 

placenta.

The Birth: 

Breathing 


Class 

4 


It's important to know that labour 

can be VERY painful (sorry!) so 

that you have prepared yourself 

mentally before hand. 

Breathing properly can help you 

to cope with the pain so it’s worth 

learning how to do it. Increasing 

the amount of oxygen by 

breathing rhythmically can help 

you and the baby relax and 

enable you to concentrate on your 

labour. 

For more information on 

Hypnobirthing, see the AMP 

course. Did your buddy practise 

Hypnobirthing?

The Birth: 

Pain Relief 


Class 


Labour is notoriously painful and 

most women need some sort of 

pain relief to help them through it. 

There are natural and medical 

pain relief options, some which 

can be used in conjunction with 

others. Research these and 

discuss with your midwife. 

Natural Pain Relief: 

• Water Birth (hydrotherapy) 

• A TENS machine 

• Gas & Air (Entonox) 

• Hypnobirthing 

Medical Pain Relief: 

• Pethidine 

• Epidural and Spinal Block 

• General Anaesthetic

The Birth: 

Induction 


Class 

5 


Labour may need to be induced 

in approximately 20% of women. 

This can be because your baby is 

overdue or there is some sort of 

risk to you or your baby's health. 

For a planned induction you will 

be admitted to hospital on a 

previously agreed day. It can 

happen quickly, but it can also be 

slow and take 48 hours, however, 

it is generally accepted that the 

benefits of induction outweigh 

the possible risks. 

We recommend you read the 

AMP course handout for more 

information on inductions.

The Birth: 


Class 

6 

Complications 


About 1 in 8 women have an 

assisted birth, where forceps or 

ventouse are used (AMP, 2018). 

There are situations where the 

safest option for you and your 

baby is to have a Caesarean 

Section. Approximately 1 in 4 

babies are delivered by C-Section 

in this country, the majority of 

which are performed as an 

emergency rather than electively 

(before labour begins), (AMP, 

2018). 

It is worth you understanding what 

happens in these circumstances so 

that you are prepared if things do 

not go exactly as you had planned.

The Birth: 

Buddy Chats 

- What did you enjoy most about being pregnant? 

- What did you enjoy least about being pregnant? 

- Did you have any cravings?

1. "I remember feeling a tightening sensation around my tummy at 40 weeks - 

they weren't painful but I thought I was in labour. I called the hospital and said "I 

think I'm in labour"...to which the midwife replied saying "Oh no you are not. 

You'll know when you are in labour!" She was right, it was just braxton hicks"." 

Melody, Twickenham 

2. "If you are going into hospital for an induction, make sure you download 

some great films onto your ipad...you might be waiting a LONG time twiddling 

your thumbs". Janey, Ealing 

3. "My birth ended in an emergency c-section as my baby was in distress. I 

would have thought that I'd panic at this point, but the medical professionals 

were so calming and reassuring and I knew that I was in the best hands. By that 

point I just wanted my baby to come out and both he and I were totally fine 

afterwards". Narissa, Wandsworth 

4. "Don't be afraid to ask to change your midwife if you are not happy with 

them". Elizabeth, Ealing

"Try to find your new normal" 

Janey Carey 

Founder of the Mummy Buddy Programme

The 4th Trimester: 


Class Class 7 

7 

First Few Hours 

CONGRATULATIONS!! No doubt 

you'll be tired after the birth, so try 

to relax and enjoy bonding with 

your baby. 

Your midwife will stay with you for 

the first few hours after the birth to 

make sure that you and baby are 

healthy and to help with feeding 

and resting. 

You will be transferred to the 

postnatal ward when you and your 

baby are stable. If you are on an 

NHS ward, prepare yourself to be 

sharing with 3-5 other mothers and 

their babies. It can come as a bit of 

a shock if you are not expecting it, 

especially the noise!


Apgar Score 


Class V 

9 


Developed by Dr. Virginia Apgar 1952 

Your baby will be evaluated 

immediately after they are born. 

They will be given a score based 

on the following criteria: 

• Skin- Colour 

• Muscle Tone 

• Pulse rate 

• Breathing 

• Reflexes 

A scale from 0-2 is given for each 

criteria and collectively forms the 

Apgar score. A score of 7 to 10 is 

considered normal, 4 to 6 is fairly 

low and 3 and below is regarded 

as critically low. Your midwife will 

be able to explain what your 

baby's score means in more detail.


Early Feeding 


Class 

9 


The expert care and advice that 

your midwife provides once your 

baby is born will be invaluable. 

You will most likely be 

encouraged to start feeding by 

putting your baby on your breast 

straight after delivery. 

This may be a little tricky just after 

you have delivered. Holding your 

baby against your skin will calm 

them, steady their breathing and 

keep them warm. 

You may need to be patient, but 

this is all totally normal and your 

midwife is there to support you.



Class 

9 

Leaving Hospital 

Your baby will have a full physical 

examination before you are 

discharged from the hospital. 

The examination is literally a top 

to bottom check of the baby's 

general appearance and will 

include a full examination of the 

baby’s whole body, skin, limbs 

and joints, genitalia, heart and 

lungs, and reflexes. 

The examination is usually done 

in front of you.



Class 

7 

First Few Days 

The postnatal period can be very 

difficult, especially for first time 

mothers. Many find it frustrating 

that no one prepared them for life 

after the birth. 

You will no doubt be exhausted, 

may be very sore, have missed 

out on 3 nights sleep, be 

struggling to get your latch right 

with boobs that feel like they are 

about to explode. 

At this stage it is important to 

sleep as much as you can and try 

to relax, take it as easy as 

possible, and use the support 

being offered around you.



Class 

9 

When to Worry 

It is fine for your baby to loose up 

to 10% of their weight in the first 

few days after they are born 

because they are born with extra 

fat reserves. 

All babies gain weight at different 

speeds, some are quicker than 

others, but on average they will 

usually be back to their birth 

weight by the 10th day. 

Your midwife will come and visit 

you in your home to weigh your 

baby and to check that they are 

gaining weight. Your midwife will 

keep visiting you until they are 

happy with your baby's progress. 

List any questions for her below.



Emotional 

Class 

8 


It's normal to feel emotional after 

childbirth. There are different 

levels of psychological problems 

which may affect you. It's 

important to do a bit of research, 

and talk to your buddy, so that 

you understand the difference 

between them, enabling you to 

identify the right level of support: 

• 3rd day blues - most new 

mums will suffer from this. 

• Post Natal Depression (PND) - 

This is a surprisingly common 

condition, affecting 10% of 

women and also some men. 

• Puerperal Psychosis - 

affecting around 1 in 1000 

women.



Physical 

Class 

8 


We hope that your physical 

recovery is quick and painless, 

however, it is very common for you 

to experience some of the 

following: 

- postnatal infection 

- blood clots 

- perenium - episiotomy or tears 

- piles 

- prolapse 

Remember to eat properly, drink 

lots of water and get sleep when 

you can. 

It's worth you being informed on 

these so that you can recognise 

any symptoms and seek help at 

the earliest opportunity.


Buddy Chats 

- How did it feel to meet your baby for the first time? 

- How long did you stay in hospital for? 

- How were the first few days? Any tips?

1. "My husband and I argued quite a bit at the beginning. No sleep, no freedom, 

no time to ourselves certainly took its toll, and some getting used to. We had to 

adapt to our new life and our roles which no one had warned me about." Laura, 

Ealing 

2. "Top Tip - don't have any visitors in the first 2 weeks unless they are 

helping!." Anna, Ealing 

3. "I was really struggling to breastfeed whilst in hospital and the midwife 

showed me how to express my colostrum (the first milk you produce which is 

full of antibodies) so that I could still feed it to my baby."Debbie, Wandsworth 

4. "Prepare yourself for their first poo! It's a black/dark brown tar-like 

consistency and can really shock you if you are not expecting it!" Narinda, 

Ealing

"Parenting is 

f**cking hard!" 

Adele

Caring for your Baby: 

Crying 

Crying is normal behaviour for 

babies - its their only way of 

letting their parents know what 

they need. However it can be one 

of the hardest things for parents 

to deal with. 

Newborns cry approx. 1-3 hours 

a day, but by the time your baby 

is a few weeks old, you will 

probably be able to distinguish 

which cry is a hungry cry, a 

colicky cry and which one means 

s/he needs a comforting cuddle. 

There are only a handful of things 

that it could be, so it’s a process 

of elimination till you work out 

which it is.


Sleeping 

Immediately following the birth, 

your newborn should sleep 

around 16 hours a day (not in one 

go!). PLEASE use this time to rest 

- this is only the beginning. 

Your baby will soon begin waking 

more often. They can not 

differentiate between night and 

day, for at least the first few 

months. 

Newborns have very small 

stomachs that get hungry very 

quickly. They sleep in two, three 

or four hour bursts until they are 

old enough to go for longer 

between feeds, and can handle a 

sleep routine.


Feeding 

Depending on their size and 

appetite your baby will probably 

get hungry around every three 

hours. 

Because their stomachs are still 

very small, newborn babies cannot 

hold much food in their stomachs, 

which is why they poo a lot. In 

time, their eating patterns will 

settle down and you won’t always 

feel like you are doing back-toback 

feeding. 

Feed times are lovely times to 

bond together, however, it's very 

common to struggle with 

breastfeeding - contact your health 

visitor for support asap if so.


Changing 

Here goes, deep breath... 

- Open the dirty nappy. Wipe away 

the worst of the poo with the front 

of the nappy. Tuck it under their 

bottom with the clean side facing 

up. 

- Wipe your baby's bottom from 

front to back, gently lifting her legs 

by the ankles. 

- Apply a thin layer of barrier cream 

to your baby's bottom. 

- Take the used nappy out from 

under your baby and place into a 

nappy sack with the soiled wipes 

or cotton wool. 

- Slide a new nappy under your 

baby and fasten over her tummy. 

Big kiss. All done!


Bathing 

Once you get home from hospital 

you can bath your baby straight 

away if you wish. However, it's 

advisable to wait until their 

umbilical cord has dropped off. 

Instead, you can top-and-tail, 

using a bowl of warm water and a 

soft cloth or flannel to wash their 

top half and nappy area – avoid 

using products (even baby soap) 

or wipes until your baby is at least 

six weeks old. 

It’s most important for your baby 

to feel secure and safe while in 

the bath. Try to keep bath time 

relaxing and incorporate it into 

your baby's bedtime routine.


Playing 

Your baby is constantly taking in the 

world around them all the time. 

Playing with your baby can really 

help their development. 

Babies are great imitators and even 

at a few hours old, will respond to 

you sticking your tongue out by 

doing it back. They also love funny 

faces and listening to your voice, so 

sing to them as much as possible. 

Try putting on classical music when 

they tend to get grumpy, and play 

soothing lullabies at bedtime to help 

them recognise that bedtime is near. 

ENJOY and have fun!


Buddy Chats 

- How often did your baby cry at the beginning? 

- Do you get any sleep?! 

- Whats the best way to hold a baby in the bath?

1. "It sounds simple, but always have your changing 'equipment' laid out before 

you take your baby's nappy off. It makes things so much easier, especially if 

they start to wriggle around". Farnaz, Kensal Rise 

2. "My baby hated doing tummy time. I started doing really short increments, 

like 5 second bursts, laying her face down on my chest and built it up from 

there. It seemed to help with strengthening her neck". Anna, Ealing 

3. "I really struggled with breastfeeding. I found out when my little boy was 3 

weeks old that he was severely tongue tied - I wish I had known sooner and 

tried to get it resolved. My tip would be to seek help with breastfeeding asap if 

you are struggling. It's really common to struggle at the beginning but the 

sooner you can resolve any issues the quicker you can get back on track". 

Janey, Ealing 

4. "My husband liked to help by changing nappies and giving a bottle feed at 

nighttime. It really helped them to bond." Alicia, Wimbledon

Hold them a little longer 

rock them a little more. 

Tell them another story 

(you've only told them four). 

Let them sleep on your shoulder 

rejoice in your happy smile. 

They are only little once 

for such a little while. 

Annon

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