Maturity Journal 5.18

Maturity Journal
May 2018 Page 21
J us t fo r La u g h s
Pot Pourri
Do you ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of
alphabet soup?
Grandpa was caught unprepared for the cold winter and
complained to his grandson that he hadn’t been able to sleep.
“Did your teeth chatter, gramps,” the boy asked.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “We don’t sleep together.”
Mr. Simpson sat reading in his chair when his wife walked in
and asked, “Don’t you think I look younger without a bra?”
“You really do, sweetie,” he answered. “It draws all the wrinkles
out of your face.”
“Grandma, can you remember your first kiss?”
“Son, I can’t even remember my last one.”
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, “No
animals allowed except for seeing eye dogs?”
Have you noticed? Anyone driving faster than you is an idiot,
and anyone driving slower than you is a moron.
My license plate says PMS. Nobody cuts me off.
What has 175 legs and 5 teeth? The front row at a Willie
Nelson concert.
The difference between ‘involved’ and ‘committed’? If you have
bacon and eggs for breakfast, the chicken was involved, but the
pig was committed.
How many Harvard grads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve
around him.
A graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it
work?”
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will
it cost?”
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, “Would you like
fries with that?”