WINNING WAYS DRAFT LAYOUT

NOT CONFORMED BUT
TRANSFORMED
The motto of the KICC Singles
Ministry to ‘know no man after the
flesh but after the spirit’ recognises
that things are not always as they
appear. It reminds us to aspire to get to know
the real person underneath what we see
or experience of other peoples behaviour,
character, or appearance.
Theme for this year’s IGOC has great
significance for every single person pursuing
true friendships and a lasting relationship
with a future spouse.
In Philippians 4:8, Paul admonishes us to
think about things that are true, honest, just,
pure, lovely, of good report, full of virtue
and praiseworthy. The best relationships are
developed when we commit to cultivating a
positive mind-set.
CONFORMING
As we live in an age where there is prolific
reporting of evil happenings with some
businesses thriving on so called ‘fake news’; it
can be challenging for people who try to have
a positive frame of reference. Hence, people
readily conform to the existing norms.
Conformation is agreeing with the status
quo, whether it is good or bad. It is accepting
the norm without positively questioning or
challenging it.
This gives birth to stagnancy and can be
a trap of the enemy. Conformation can
also manifest as living perpetually in one’s
comfort zone, redundancy, inflexibility and a
failure to embrace progressive thinking.
TRANSFORMATION
In contrast, transformation is dynamic
and speaks of good change. The road to
transformation is a renewed mind. In
Romans 12 Paul pleads with believers that
each one should present themselves a living
sacrifice; not conformed to this world but
rather transformed by the renewing of
their minds. This order of affairs is crucial
for anyone who desires to go from hope to
actualisation. A renewed mind is necessary
for healthy relationships as it has built into its
fabric trust, hope, love and a genuine quality
of being naked and unashamed.
A renewed mind seeks to see things through
God’s own eyes, whilst a conformed mind
judges based on the outward appearance.
If God opens your eyes to see a person’s
potential, you can become part of the process
of turning a stone with rough edges into a
diamond. Investing in others in this way also
transforms us and makes us more like our
Father, the greatest Investor of all times.
As far as relationships are concerned, a
renewed mind is not focused on people’s past
and does not define others based on their past
failures, insufficiencies or current difficulties.
When individuals lean on their natural
senses and conform to societal expectations,
peer or parental pressure, they can make
wrong judgements and miss out on the best
opportunities and friendships. Love dictates
that we must give people a chance.
Paul’s portrayal of the process for
transformation in 2 Corinthians 3:18 (AMP)
highlights that that it should be continual and
progressive, a sort of continuous personal
development.
As we fill our minds with God’s word, we
behold Christ as in a mirror; His image rubs
off on us and we become more like him in the
way we think and live. Real change starts on
the inside and works its way out. Whilst we
acknowledge that true transformation is by
His spirit, we know that it comes at a cost to
the individual and not by wishful thinking.
To be transformed and not conformed, it will
take
• Turning to God
• Relinquishing self-will as a living
sacrifice
• Accepting Gods order and embracing
• New ways of thinking with a definite
• Shift to seeing others through Gods eyes
and a fervent pursuit of good change
irrespective of the opportunity cost
• Remodelling our frames of reference to
align with godly values and welcoming
• Metamorphosis as we understand that
transformation must be from glory to
glory.
With a transformed mind, each individual
can become a pacesetter equipped with the
best tool kit for successful relationships.
Dr. Nkiru Asiegbunam
Head of KICC Singles Ministry
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WINNING WAYS MAGAZINE 26